Horoscope for the week of September 2, 2018

In the Heavens: Saturn goes direct on Thursday. As this happens in Capricorn (which Saturn rules), you may expect a change for the better for those entities which comprise the Administrative Intelligence in your personal world. This wonderful event occurs with a reinforcing trine from Uranus (itself retrograde in Taurus), so some high tech treachery (attempts to manipulate the surface appearances of things) will be turned against the evil souls who created it. Thursday, the tables are turned on high tech manipulators.

The Moon is waning towards the New Moon (which happens next week). Those of you who practice pagan expedient means will see those problems you have enchanted wane away, to disappear on the New Moon (next week, Sunday, September 9, 2018).

A Grand Trine forms. On Friday, Mercury moves into Virgo to complete a grand trine with Saturn (in Capricorn), and Uranus (in Taurus). Oh dear. Expect some communications that will restore perception’s conception of reality from the fairy dust present to something more concrete. Jordan Peterson will smile.

In the Zodiac:

Aries: Your week begins with an opportunity to make money. A camera has been installed in the alley where you usually leave the drunks you have robbed, so be discrete. Your car key will work on more cars than your own on Thursday. Check out the mall for bargains.

Taurus: You may be caught up in a lurid sex scandal unless you don a disguise. Some mud encrusted peasant reveals a secret on Thursday, make sure they are not yours.

Gemini: You are working to a deadline, and that deadline is Tuesday. Clearly formulate your desires and visualize the outcome before you place your signet and seal on a request to Set, the Snake God. Your wishes will be granted.

Cancer: On Wednesday, take the opportunity to run naked on bare floor and carpet. After the revelations of Thursday, set aside time to get your mundane material chores dealt with. When the weekend arrives, go full pagan and slake your lusts in decadent pleasures.

Leo: Some dirty peasant will approach too close to your august personage on Wednesday. You are in peril of an infestation of bedbugs, foot fungus, or creeping skin pox. Push them away if you value your weekend of pleasures.

Virgo: Your actions have not gone unnoticed. You will be offered command of a Cossack regiment in the great rebellion which is brewing. Knowing the correct spelling and location of Zaporizhia will further your ambitions.

Libra: That fling you had a few weeks ago reappears later in this week. You used them as a toy, and discarded them without a qualm. None the less, your skills in the art of love have drawn them back for more humiliation and trembling ecstasy.

Scorpio: You can use your powerful sexual magnetism to wiggle yourself out of a legal complication on Wednesday. You are the sweet lickings than drip off an ice creme cone on a hot summers day.

Sagittarius: You will win the lottery this week. Actions of the state are in your favor but offend your sense of justice. Expect some excitement to come into your world after the events of Thursday.

Capricorn: An obstacle to your advancement will choke on something on Thursday. It will be a long five minutes watching while you think about what to do. Push their cell phone away from their hands so that they do not damage it.

Aquarius: You will have a prophetic dream on Thursday night. When you go shopping for clothes in a second hand store, you will have a vision of an alternate future.

Pisces: An alternate universe has established a beach head in your personal space. Let someone else do the heavy lifting. Be a creditible witness to a work place accident on Thursday.

I, Sargon the Magnificent, wrote this horoscope.

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