Insights into the human condition
Modern Global Warming science allows us to probe into the very darkest reaches of the human condition. You too can enjoy the insights from psychology. Take this sample personality test of only five questions, and discover things about yourself …
1) You are a noble lord in the middle ages. One of your villages is resisting paying their taxes. What would you do?
a) Initiate dialogue with the village elders to search for common ground.
b) Reconsider your taxation policy.
c) Burn the village.
d) Embrace change and not ask for taxes.
2) You have had a hard day at work, dealing with unevolved people with control issues. How do you cope with this stress.
a) Meditation upon the peaceful dolphin plane while you burn incense to Babu-Buba
b) A good work out at the gym, followed by a carrot nectar.
c) Whiskey.
d) Consult the tarot.
3) While you are commuting home from work, an angry man acts out his unjustified frustrations in an aggressive manner. What is your response?
a) Look at the picture of Swami Salami-Babuba and seek inner peace.
b) Try to avoid the guy and flee, even if it means being late coming home.
c) Cut the jerk off, then run him down when he gets out of his car.
d) Accept the fact that there is nothing that you can do, that you are powerless and impotent.
4) A government clerk is rude to you after you have spent half your lunch hour waiting in line for service.
a) Ask yourself what Zorax the Unicorn Prophet would do, and do it.
b) Accept the fact that you are powerless, and embrace the humiliation.
c) Reach over the counter and punch them in the larynx.
d) Blot out the memory and hope this trauma does not aggravate your clinical depression.
5) A telemarketer calls you when you are struggling with constipation.
a) Hang up.
b) Explain patiently to the patois speaking oppressed person that No, you do not want a new trailer hitch.
c) Listen with a rising sense of excitement at the great new deal you have been privileged to receive.
d) Leave the phone off the hook and go off and grit your teeth with rage.
Leave your answers and your comments in the comments.
October 9th, 2008 at 5:36 pm
I learned that the letter C seems to be MY letter (except for question 5 where A agrees with my condition more)
October 9th, 2008 at 5:58 pm
1. C
2. C
3. C
4. C
5. A
October 9th, 2008 at 7:49 pm
All Bs. Sometimes you cannot solve the world`s issues with strangulation. But if you go to the gym enough, you just don`t have to use the threat any longer.
October 9th, 2008 at 8:19 pm
Seems like C is the winner. Oh and Mr Mayor, perhaps you would like to explain to the lovely denizens of Mitchiville where I have been kept for the last month? Hmm, cat got your tongue? Don’t feel like explaining about the dungeon of hideous tortures in the back shed of the Mitchieville Mayoral Manse? Don’t feel like mentioning the thumbscrews? Or the hot pokers? Or having to listen constantly to Mariah Carey and Barbara Striesand? Though that last torture may have been inadvertant as I saw your cd collection as I was making my escape disguised as your french poodle fifi.