The Verdict Is In: It Is Better To Be Good Looking Than Ugly
Working on the theory that, in small groups, people who aren’t blessed with good looks have a decent chance to find a mate, but when put into bigger groups, said uglier people are tossed aside like a discarded burger wrapper from the hooves of Rosanne Barr, researchers in Edinburgh tried out their theory by arranging speed-dates:
Speed-daters race through a series of “mini dates” of about 5 minutes then invite whoever catches their fancy to get in touch again later. Lenton and her team studied 118 sessions with groups of between seven and 36 people, and found to their surprise that as the size of the group grew, the offers became skewed towards just a few individuals, while the least popular ended up with fewer or no offers.
I have a theory of my own as to why this happens. Let me explain…
I’m not a scientist or a researcher, I don’t even own a pocket-protector or know how to code websites, but I would say that the reason uglier people have a harder time finding dates and lovers, is because they’re ugly.
Stay with me here. I know this seems strange, but most people would rather go out with someone that doesn’t make them want to puke when they look at them. There’s something comforting about a pretty face, while on the other hand there is something nauseating about an ugly face. We, as humanoids, love beauty. We cherish beauty. We want to reach out and stick our cocks in beauty. Sure, we also want to stick our cocks in ugly, but only in ugly’s ass.
Thems the facts, the cold, hard, hurtful facts.
November 14th, 2008 at 4:15 pm
I finally have the answer to why I’m still single.
November 14th, 2008 at 4:36 pm
Naw, I’ve seen your picture, Emily, you would be the person picking and choosing, not the person wondering if they’ll get picked.
November 15th, 2008 at 2:16 am
Are the odds of meeting a silocon-enhanced woman whose boob will pop out while describing her life in Minnesota (it’s like, the land of 1,000 lakes!)pretty good with these? Because if not, Steve Carrell’s getting a big kick in the nuts from me.
November 15th, 2008 at 5:33 am
Didn’t John Wayne say, “Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes all the way to the bone.”?
He also said, “Life is tough. It’s tougher if you’re stupid.”
Wise man, the Duke.
November 15th, 2008 at 6:19 am
Long live the Duke. We could use him around to clean up some messes we currently have.
I think I’ll go pop True Grit into the DVD player and relax. After that I’ll watch Hondo, followed by The Fighting Seabees. That’ll take my mind off things.