Jimmy Carter Feels The Economic Pain
The international financial meltdown & worldwide liquidity crisis™ is starting to turn normal, average Joe’s into bloodthirsty thieving thieverish thieves–they have nowhere else to turn but to a life of crime. And these newly minted thieves are even stealing from those with the purest of hearts:
Two bicycles belonging to President Jimmy Carter and his wife, Rosalynn, were snatched from inside the Carter Center near downtown Atlanta earlier this month.
The couple likes to ride bicycles in nearby Freedom Park when they have free time.
I suppose the only things that console me in this time of crisis is that if it was Jimmy Carter’s bike that was stolen, you can be rest assured that it broke down on the thief 2 blocks from where it was poached.
The second consolable thing to come out of this is that Jimmy Carter is 85, and it’s probably best for the public’s safety that this old man doesn’t ride a bike. It’s probably best he sticks to pretending to build good homes, and yelling at kids to get out of his peanut plantation.
The third and final consolable thing to come out of this is that the thieves stole from Jimmy Carter, and Jimmy Carter can pretty well go and fuck himself. It’s just too bad the thieves didn’t steal his pacemaker or his medicine.
