That giraffe never stood a chance.

Sometimes, usually early morning on a Saturday, they will hear a knock on their den door, and when they look out the peephole they see what looks like an animal in a nice, conservative suit standing at there; and when the antelope opens that door, the nicely dressed animal comes inside and offers the antelope a copy of The Watchtower. The moment the antelope puts out its paw to receive The Watchtower, the lion rips off its disguise and pounces on the poor antelope, ripping every piece of skin from its flesh.

That’s why they’re call lions.

True story, or a metaphor for something even greater?

You decide.

If you’re thinking of getting your girlie something a little special this year for Christmas, and have an extra 6 million bucks kicking around, may I suggest the Victoria’s Secrets Black Diamond Miracle Bra:

Supermodel Adriana Lima is sporting Victoria’s Secret’s latest bra which is encrusted with nearly 3,900 precious gems, thousands of tiny black diamonds, 117 one-carat round diamonds and 34 rubies.

The lavish item is finished off with a spectacular pair of 100-carat black diamond drops.

The Black Diamond Miracle Bra is also crafted to give maximum cleavage lift.

Or, instead of getting your lovie dovie a Black Diamond Miracle Bra, do what The Mayor did and get your sweetheart a 6 Star Knife Set from the good folks at Ronco. It’s an amazing gift, and if you order right now, you will also get a FREE Solid Flavour Injector. Use the solid flavor injector to inject nuts, herbs, olives, pineapple chunks, fresh or dried fruits, hot peppers, vegetable pieces, candy, chocolate chips (and just about anything else you can think of) into hams, leg of lambs, pork loin, roasts, turkey, breasts, cupcakes, cakes, and pastries.

But wait, that’s not all…

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