In case there are any ladies out there that think Greg’s truthfulness is a breath of fresh air, just remember, he’ll be the type of person if asked, will tell you, “No, it’s not the pants that make your ass look big, it’s your ass that makes your ass look big”.
Naw, that’s gotta be el PhotoChopped.
Alot of Bieber haters out there, and I can see why. He writes his own music, sings his own songs, plays guitar and drums and about 10 more instruments; at 12 busked on the street corner, making $150 AN HOUR. PLUS, he dresses how how wants, has his hair the way he likes it and is an individual. I can see why that makes a lot of people upset.
Haters gonna hate. Actually, jealous haters gonna hate.
Tired of all those unwanted intruders trespassing on your lawn, yet you lack an efficient QUIET deterrent to stop them? Well then, your prayers have been answered! Introducing the Electro-Electric “get off my lawn” Machine Gun 2000®.
“No, little Girl Guide, I DON’T want your stinkin’ cookies”, ratta tat tat.
“No, postman, I DON’T want your stinkin’ paper spam”, ratta tat tat.
“No, Jehovah Witness, I DON’T want a copy of the Watchtower”, ratta tat tat.
No more door knockers, no more dinner interruptions, no more anything. The Electro-Electric “get off my lawn” Machine Gun 2000® fires 150 high-explosive shells in one minute, enough firepower to shoe-away the nastiest of skunks, raccoons, or paper boys. The Electro-Electric “get off my lawn” Machine Gun 2000® comes in gun-metal silver, and looks AND feels great.
Simple to operate, fun to use, you’ll wish the census takers would come back again and again and again.
The Electro-Electric “get off my lawn” Machine Gun 2000®, now only $7500.00 with this special blog order.
But wait!
Order now and get a FREE vintage 44 Remington Colt Anaconda. Great for taking care of those “minor” problems – like marital disputes, arguments with the neighbours, or corner-store owners ripping you off.
Call now, operators are standing by!
Finally, after 6 years of blogging I have come across a speck of truth in advertising. Although, the word “bad” is rather tame in this instance. I would think any of these words could be substituted instead: hideous, gross, disgusting, barf-worthy.
Feel free to add to the list, if you think it’s necessary.
If you’re anything like me – and I don’t mean tall and strong with just a hint of playfulness – then you probably can’t stand the rampant verbal sexual assaults perpetrated daily by hordes of Asian looking men upon your person (let me reread that last sentence…assault….hordes…Asian…yup, that sounds right). Well you don’t have to put up with that any longer, thanks to The Equalizer by K-Tel™.
The handy and portable Equalizer™ says, “Stop right there, yo, you have crossed the line!”
Weighing just 8.4 lbs (under 4 kilo’s) and measuring just under 2 feet (about .08 Celsius), the Equalizer™ can be easily stowed away in ones purse. This is the #1 anti-sexual assault device among Japanese school girls. And as you can imagine, Japanese school girls are sexually assaulted pretty much every minute of every waking hour. Just take a look at that Japanese girl in the picture, I’m practically having intercourse with her with my eyes. Oops, shouldn’t have said that, here comes the Equalizer™!
Whack!!
Can’t say I didn’t deserve it!
The Equalizer™, only $19.95 + shipping and handling. Order now, South East Asian operators are standing by!
And that worked? I have a feeling when this story makes its way through the interwebs that there will be a huge uptick in flights booked to Taiwan.
Sure, playing in a fridge is fun, but only for a minute or so. After that, it all becomes blurry. On the bright side, there’s supposedly a real cool light that if followed, you get to play in a whole different world.
Try wrapping your hippy head around that.
I’m wondering if that’s a suntan or a shadow? Either way, make sure to invite her to The Mayor’s birthday party this year. Oh no, not for me, but more as a party favour for my guests.
I haven’t seen him, but my wife insists she has. I think it’s time for me to have a talk with the wife.
Kinda like I, Robot, but waaaaay gayer.
Just this one single advertisement has set this kid up for a lifetime of ridicule. It reminds me of Gary Coleman. Coleman gets signed onto a show when he is just a young boy, is assigned the phrase “whatchu talkin’ ’bout Willis?”, and for the next, well, forever actually, that’s the only thing Coleman is known for. He could have gone on to cure AIDS and that wouldn’t have mattered one iota. “Gentlemen, I have been working tirelessly for 27 years, 18 hours a day, seven days a week. And I’m proud to announce that I, Gary Coleman, have cured AIDS.”
“Whatchu talkin’ ’bout Willis.” And all the doctors will piss themselves laughing, stand up and high five each other and then go to the bar, without Coleman, and get really drunk.
The kid in the advertisement above has already bought a first-class ticket on the Gary Coleman train of misfit typecasts. A train, BTW, that will be hopping the track soon, to make a horrific derailment to a town near you. My advise for the young lad? Become an abusive alcoholic. For the rest of his days he will be mocked incessantly and called “she-mail” to the point where he will hate to wake up in the morning. Start drinking, become abusive and scary. It’s better to be known as “that drunken abuser”, than “she-mail.”
Trust The Mayor: he’ll get use to being called “that drunken abuser”, but he will never get use to being called “she-mail.”
Experience taught The Mayor that terrible, terrible lesson.
According to the Evil Conservative Online, this is a new logo designed for the Department of Defense’s Missile Defense Agency:
This is one of those things that makes you say to yourself, “Is this really happening? Can this really be the new patch for the DoD’s Missile Defense Agency?” Apparently it is, as the official Missile Defense Agency website confirms.
Is it self-aggrandizing hubris? An Islamic crest? A bizarre mixture of the two? Or just an amazing coincidence?
The Mayor rather likes this new logo and doesn’t see any problem with it. I figure if Obama is going to be President for life, then more agencies need to start designing their logos after him. I would suggest more halos and more glow though, every logo should convey peacefulness and a feeling that if we put all our trust in the government then everything will always work out just fine.
Next – work on getting the words “land of the free and home of the brave” out of the American national anthem and replaced with “home of the polygendered, multicultural village- peoples.”
I saw an interesting post on The Roxor last week, entitled, “23 Brilliant Logos With Hidden Messages”, and I said to myself, “I’m sure my constituents would love to see some of these logos with hidden messages. What I think I’ll do is bookmark the page, leave it for 6 days, and then revisit it next week when it’s slightly outdated and has already been seen by hundreds of thousands of people on the internets”.
That’s EXACTLY what I said, it’s a true story, I suggest you tell all your friends.
There are a few dozen or so logos on The Roxor (as indicated by the *23 Brilliant logos* part of the title) for you to look at, but here’s three to start you off with:
This is probably one of the best known logos with a hidden meaning. If you look closely, you’ll see an arrow that’s formed by the letters E and x. This arrow symbolizes speed and precision, two major selling points of this company.
Toblerone is a chocolate-company from Bern, Switzerland. Bern is sometimes called ‘The City Of Bears’. They have incorporated this idea in the Toblerone logo, because if you look closely, you’ll see the silhouette of a bear.
If you look at the centre of this logo, you can see two people enjoying a Tostito chip with a bowl of salsa. This logo conveys an idea of people connecting with each other.
**First spotted on Bits & Pieces
I’d also like to point out the hidden message in the Mitchieville logo you might not be familiar with. Do you see the three thrones on the top right hand corner of the Mitchieville header? Well, under the three thrones are three heads, signifying the three faces of Set, The Snake God. Even looking at them once makes you a follower. So that means you will not be going to heaven. Actually, you will get to heaven, but a heaven that’s run by Set, The Snake God. And Fenris. Yup, heaven is being contracted out to Set, The Snake God, and Fenris.
You would be wise to send Fenris money. Care of The Mayor.
