Archive for the ‘Al Gore’ Category

Algore – Not Looking Great

Tuesday, January 31st, 2017

The Mayor isn’t sure what algore’s carbon footprint is, but he is sure that algore’s carb intake is through the roof.

What is it with liberal’s that turn them into hideous monsters as they age? The Mayor would like to experience a modern miracle once in his life and watch an actual leftist age gracefully. Like Al Gore, for instance. He’s not even a smoker and look at those rotted teeth he’s sporting. The guy is worth a hundred trillion dollars (global warming hot money – ching ching ching ) and he looks like he’s wearing a mouth guard that was found in a duffel bag that was stashed away since 1977.

If algore is still looking for donations, The Mayor would be happy to chip in $50 – if algore promises to use that money to buy a burqa.

Burning Margaret Atwood

Friday, October 15th, 2010

I have not met anyone who had any book by Margaret Atwood that was not purchased, obtained, required but for some sort of school course. I have attended a lifetime of house parties, stood in front rooms, and admired the collection of school texts that all post Trudeau Canadians have. Every man jack and dolly has one, two, or ten of the works of the Canadian Left’s favorite non-transgendered person whose vision exactly matches their own in the way that Easter Islanders always seemed to carve the same face to celebrate their dysfunctional culture.


Gore’s dual role–profiting and rationing

Monday, March 1st, 2010


Is it climate change or global warming? Al Gore might be more interested in saving his own reputation than the planet. That’s probably why he’s so fluid with the terminology:

It would be an enormous relief if the recent attacks on the science of global warming actually indicated that we do not face an unimaginable calamity requiring large-scale, preventive measures to protect human civilization as we know it.


Thoughts To Ponder

Friday, October 23rd, 2009

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

Garden Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it was a valuable plant.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to  buy a replacement.

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird.  Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

Wouldn’t it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press ‘Ctr- Alt- Delete’ and start all over?

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called ‘labor!’

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, ‘I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?’

Who was the first person to say, ‘See that chicken there?  I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt.’

**Thanks to Bits & Pieces for the thoughts

Ling and Lee sold out by their own profession

Friday, August 7th, 2009

South Korea North Korea Journalists Held

They made it home safely, and that’s all that matters.

Reporters for Current TV, Euna Lee and Laura Ling, have recently been released from North Korean captivity, where they were arrested and detained based on charges of politically smearing the North Korean state, according to LA Weekly. The story they were reporting on was drowned out by the drama of the reporters’ capture, which was to highlight North Koreans fleeing their country and seeking refuge in China, where Christian Koreans were helping them with aid and security. For all of the good and decent things you have ever heard about Sojourner Truth and Harriet Tubman, it’s still happening today. The Underground Railroad is still going on, trying to give refuge to those looking to escape slavery and despotism.


A Tale Of Two Houses

Wednesday, July 15th, 2009

This next post was stolen in its entirety from Andy’s Place. If you haven’t bookmarked Andy’s site and don’t go there every day, you have something wrong with your head. 

Andy received a computer letter from a friend which I have posted below. It’s in regard to energy consumption. I want you to enjoy the hell out of this.


House #1
A 20 room mansion (not including 8 bathrooms) heated by natural gas. Add on a pool (and a pool house) and a separate guest house, all heated by gas. In one month this residence consumes more energy than the average American household does in a year. The average bill for electricity and natural gas runs over $2400 per month.. In natural gas alone, this property consumes more than 20 times the national average for an American home. This house is not situated in a Northern or Midwestern ’snow belt’ area. It’s in the South.


House #2
Designed by an architecture professor at a leading national university. This house incorporates every ‘green’ feature current home construction can provide. The house is 4,000 square feet (4 bedrooms) and is nestled on a high prairie in the American southwest. A central closet in the house holds geothermal heat-pumps drawing ground water through pipes sunk 300 feet into the ground.

The water (usually 67 degrees F) heats the house in the winter and cools it in the summer The system uses no fossil fuels such as oil or natural gas and it consumes one-quarter the electricity required for a conventional heating/cooling system. Rainwater from the roof is collected and funneled into a 25,000 gallon underground cistern. Wastewater from showers, sinks and toilets goes into underground purifying tanks and then into the cistern. The collected water then irrigates the land surrounding the house. Surrounding flowers and shrubs native to the area enable the property to blend into the surrounding rural landscape. The heating/cooling system is so efficient that initial plans to install solar panels were cancelled.

HOUSE #1 is outside of Nashville , Tennessee;
it is the abode of the Environmentalist, Al Gore.

HOUSE #2 is on a ranch near Crawford, Texas;
it is the residence of the former President of the United States, George W. Bush.

For all you Snope Doggie types, you can verify this computer letter until the cows come home.

Kyoto Countries Face $46 Billion Penalty

Sunday, November 16th, 2008


Of the 37 signatories currently on the Kyoto treaty, 20 of those countries are releasing more greenhouse gasses than they agreed to, costing them a whopping $46 billion US in penalties:

As a penalty for missing their goals under the treaty, the nations are required to buy permits for every excess ton of the heat-trapping gas released through 2012. That will total 2.3 billion permits for 20 nations, New Carbon Finance, a research firm in London, has estimated.

The potential penalty, 36 billion euros ($46 billion) for the group based on current permit prices, and the fact that only a minority of 37 Kyoto signatory nations may meet their pledges bodes poorly for international efforts to limit global warming.

Italy and Spain could potentially have to pay $6 billion US alone, but they seem to have a unique way of going about not paying their penalties:


There’s an Elephant in the Room, and It Ain’t McCain

Tuesday, October 28th, 2008

All right, Keyser isn’t exactly proud of the fact, but he voted twice for George W. Bush. Well, Penn (or is it Teller – Keyser can never keep them straight) notwithstanding, you can in fact vote against. So let’s be honest. Keyser voted once against Algor and the second time against Jean François Kerry.

If Algore had managed to get five more votes in Florida (or whatever the necessary number), can you imagine what his reaction to the destruction of the World Trade Center would have been? He’d have sent a letter to the UN denouncing the hijackers for leaving such a big Carbon Foot Print and demanded a resolution deploring this situation and calling up on the perpetrators to buy a suitable Carbon Offset to compensate the world for the crime of contributing to Climate Change.

A New Global Warming Tax For The Lucky Citizens Of Los Angeles

Tuesday, April 8th, 2008

Under the guise of global warming, a bill has been introduced in Sacramento that would enable Los Angeles County transit officials to increase taxes on motorists.

Remember what I said the other day, if any bill going through legislature has the word GREEN in it, prepare to open your wallet. And have a look at what this new tax, tribute, rate, duty, support and contribution bill is called:

A “climate change mitigation and adaptation fee,”.

I nearly lol’d there for a second.

This new bill is being introduced because

“the people of the Los Angeles region have just had it when it comes to traffic and air quality,” claimed Assemblyman Mike Feuer, a Los Angeles Democrat and author of Assembly Bill 2558.”

And how much will be raised through his “climate change mitigation and adaptation fee?”

$400 million

A small price for better air quality.

And what does that mean to the average Los Angeles shmuck car driver?

“the measure would cost motorists either an additional 3 percent motor fuel tax, or up to a $90 annual flat fee, based on vehicle emissions.

Peanuts. Especially when you consider that there is only one earth and we are the guardians of it.

I support this tax and now I feel better. I feel as if I did my part, now it’s up to the citizens of Los Angeles to do theirs.

I do have one small question though: What exactly is this new toolbox of extra revenues going to fix? As in, what the fuck are they going to do with this money?

Inquiring minds and all…

**I urge you to read the article, the writer of said article does a masterful job putting the councilman in his place.

The Global Warming Mystery Unfolds

Wednesday, March 19th, 2008

Some 3,000 scientific robots that measure ocean temperature, have sent a message back to NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory: the oceans are not heating up–and smoking is actually good for you, Okay, scrap that last part about the smoking:

This is puzzling in part because here on the surface of the Earth, the years since 2003 have been some of the hottest on record. But Josh Willis at NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory says the oceans are what really matter when it comes to global warming.

In fact, 80 percent to 90 percent of global warming involves heating up ocean waters. They hold much more heat than the atmosphere can.

Since the system was fully deployed in 2003, it has recorded no warming of the global oceans.

“There has been a very slight cooling, but not anything really significant,” Willis says.

No wonder I can’t give away these carbon credits on Seventh Avenue.

Interesting and damning evidence, but maybe there is more to this than meets the eye:

One possibility is that the sea has, in fact, warmed and expanded — and scientists are somehow misinterpreting the data from the diving buoys.

I’m sure it wouldn’t be the first time that 3000 highly calibrated NASA temperature robots lied. I’m sure it happens all the time.

What else?

It’s also possible that some of the heat has gone even deeper into the ocean, he says.

Or it’s possible that scientists need to correct for some other feature of the planet they don’t know about.

It’s also possible that billions of heat emitting zombies that comb the ocean floor decided to leave and go back to their planet, thus cooling the ocean, if only for a brief time.

It’s also possible that global warming is the biggest farce since Bre-X, or disco, or the Muppets Invade Manhattan movie. But as I say, I still believe in it, after all, I have like 50 trillion carbon credits waiting to be sold.

Fentris, get the telemarketers ready, we have carbon credits to sell!

Australia Has Doomed Humanity

Thursday, January 17th, 2008

A study released last week and reported in the never wrong Globe and Mail stated that Antarctica is melting at an alarming rate and may cause global water levels to rise by 60 meters (180 feet):

One of the biggest worries about global warming has been its potential to affect the stability of the Antarctic ice sheet, a vast storehouse of frozen water that would inundate the world’s coastal regions if it were to melt because of a warming climate.

The huge implications posed by the health of the ice sheet have prompted major scientific interest into whether it is growing, shrinking, or stable, with no clear consensus among researchers about its overall trend. But a new study released yesterday, based on some of the most extensive measurements to date of the continent’s ice mass, presents a worrisome development: Antarctica’s ice sheet is shrinking, at a rate that increased dramatically from 1996 to 2006.

Never known to worry about political correctness, or current global trends, our colonial thief-cousins from downunder have decided to flood the earth and doom humanity by starting daily airline flights to Antarctica.

The statist Australian Civilian Aviation Safety Authority approved the daily Airbus 319 flights, flights that will land on a newly built Firefox style 4 mile long ice runway (video can be seen here), after considering many pertinent safety facts such as fuel requirements and emergency landing sites. It appears though the horrific eco effect of the 8 hour return flights to earths most fragile continent wasn’t one of them. Where is the talk of the environment? Where are our Carbon Credits? Where is Algore when you need him? The world demands answers!

How can we blog knowing that our fate has been sealed by a bunch of beer swilling hooligans from Convict Isle? Instead of blogging now Fenris worries about the fate of Marginalized Action Dinosaur as Lake Winnipeg boils over. The Mayor, a blogging giant amoung men, frets over the fate of his waterfront properties in Belize, Jamaica, Hawaii, Madagascar, Texas, Italy and Sarnia instead of writing posts. Australia must be stopped before it is too late. You as a citizen blog reading activist can stop the horror downunder: send Fenris your money – send all of it (PayPal, Visa, Canadian Tyre cash and Carbon Credits accepted).

Vote for Mitchieville – Canada’s Best Humour Blog

The View From Reg’s Window

Tuesday, January 1st, 2008

I took these two pictures a few minutes ago from the kitchen of my rural Canadian chateau. By South-Central Ontario standards we have had a lot of snow this year – more snow this winter than all of last winter – and we still have two months to go. I get the feeling that Algore has been lying to me about this whole global warming thing.

Here are my prediction for 2008:

- this time a year from now the pop-culture fad of the global warming crisis will have passed us by and been replaced by something to do with avian flu carrying monkeys or some other feigned global crisis.

- Fenris will find true love and begin his new life in California as the sire to a yet-to-be-discovered pantiless Hollywood starlet (I could be wrong, predictions are more of a Sargon thing and the morning after headache I have clouds my sight).

- Enig-Mac will post three times in the same month, possibly March.

- Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama will be lead an armed assault on The White House after GWB declares martial law and names his brother Jeb ‘Successor and Rightful Heir To The Throne of Americaland’. The assault fails.

- In a bold play for more web traffic The London Fog will rebrand itself as the The London Smog.

- Fred Thompson dies while shagging his teenage wife.

- The Vancouver Canucks will win Lord Stanley’s Cup, The Miami Dolphins will go 16-0, and The Toronto Maple Laffs will increase tickets prices after a sub .500 season.

Now then, where is my Ginsu knife at?