Archive for the ‘amazing science’ Category


Friday, April 27th, 2012

“…taken around 1900…shows an old prospector and his cabin…working in the Pike’s Peak area of Colorado.”

“That stove could have been used to heat his gold. They did use mercury to remove gold dust from the ore. Then they would heat the gold/mercury mixture to vaporize the mercury and just leave the gold.  They learned that it was a very dangerous practice if they happed[ed] to inhale the fumes. By the way they still use mercury to remove gold from the ore. Gold dust will attach itself to the mercury and is a lot easier to recover then.  And that little black canister might contain mercury…”

Burning Margaret Atwood

Friday, October 15th, 2010

I have not met anyone who had any book by Margaret Atwood that was not purchased, obtained, required but for some sort of school course. I have attended a lifetime of house parties, stood in front rooms, and admired the collection of school texts that all post Trudeau Canadians have. Every man jack and dolly has one, two, or ten of the works of the Canadian Left’s favorite non-transgendered person whose vision exactly matches their own in the way that Easter Islanders always seemed to carve the same face to celebrate their dysfunctional culture.


The Mercedes Benz SCL600

Sunday, December 6th, 2009


This is the new Mercedes Benz SCL600. A beautiful car, but what differentiates it from the other Mercedes class, or for that matter, any other car on the road?


Well, it doesn’t have a steering wheel. Or pedals. It has a joystick.


Yet I don’t see a “Shoot” button on the joystick. Good luck if you’re battling some sort of space alien.

I suppose this is the wave of the future. I also suppose that from now on, if you want to buy a Mercedes, you’re going to have to get your four year old to show you how to drive. If you’re lucky, maybe Timmy will take you out to the parking lot at the No Frills grocery store and take you for a spin.

The Perfect Amount Of Female Flesh

Thursday, November 19th, 2009

According to that most venerated of scientific magazines, the Daily Mail, science has again come to the rescue to answer one of life’s most longing questions: how much skin should a woman bare in order to attract a man without being asked the question “how much”?

British scientists believe the answer is an outfit that reveals 40% of a woman’s skin, which provides “just the right” amount of attention. While 40% may be a strange number to quantify in clothing, think coverage. Legs and arms can really soak up most of that number, while a plunging neckline can probably finish the job. But attention must be paid to where that 40% is provided. Obviously devoting 40% all in one place can easily have negative repercussions as well.

To hit the right figure, Leeds University psychologist Colin Hendrie sent four female researchers to one of the city’s biggest nightclubs to experiment in what level of skank would be most appropriate:

There, they stood on a balcony overlooking the dancefloor, and noted what the female clubbers were wearing and how many times they were approached by men.

All their observations were taped on dictaphones hidden in handbags.


And clothing – or lack of it – was one of the factors that helped them stand out.

Specifically, women who showed off around 40 per cent of their skin were approached by twice as many men as those who were more covered up.

Of course some people use visual aids a little better than just trying to conceptualize some number. So here’s some help.

Too much skin:


Not enough skin:


Just right:


What’s that? No, actually, Ms.Biel is wearing a 60/40 clothing-skin ratio in the above shot. You’re letting your imagination run away with you.

Science Finds A Cure For Frigid Women

Tuesday, November 17th, 2009


Put that damned bottle of GHB down. They’ve invented a “female Viagara”, dubbed flibanserin, which helps boost the female libido. Or in less PC terms, it gets women horny, which is bound to make men horny. No, not thorny, horny.

The drug flibanserin appears to increase sexual desire in women suffering from low sexual desire, according to the drug’s German maker, Boehringer Ingelheim, which funded three clinical trials. The results were presented this week at the Congress of the European Society for Sexual Medicine in Lyon, France.

“Flibanserin was a poor antidepressant,” lead researcher John Thorp, of the University of North Carolina, told the meeting. “However, astute observers noted that it increased libido in laboratory animals and human subjects… So, we conducted multiple clinical trials.”

Interestingly, the drug is being dubbed “Viagra for women” after the little blue pill that treats male erectile difficulties and that was also discovered by accident. Viagra was developed as a heart medication but while it failed poorly in testing, researchers noticed it helped increase blood flow in the penis. The rest is pharmaceutical history.

History indeed. One can readily imagine the initial human testing results:

Doctor: “Do you feel less depressed?”
Patient: “I want you inside me.”

For the studies, more than 2,000 women in the U.S., Canada and Europe took doses of the drug, and the women reported significant improvements in sexual desire, upping the average number of times the women put out from 3.7, to 4.5. Makers of the drug report a short-term side effect of drowsiness, dizziness, and dry mouth. I don’t know about you, but I can think of how to cure the last problem.

A tall glass of lemonade. What did you think I was going to say?

Help Wanted

Friday, October 23rd, 2009


The Mayor gets a nasty feeling that if you decide to take on this mission, you might not be coming back. On the bright side, if my instincts are correct, at least your corpse will go to the greater good by feeding buddys family for a week.

“It’s Alive!”

Sunday, December 28th, 2008

As someone who helps warp the minds of today’s youth with the rubbish of yesterday to make them the leaders of tomorrow, Keyser has long noted that they seem to be out of touch with the classic movies of the past that Keyser would frequently watch on television in his own youth. Make a reference to a “famous” phrase like “Mother of mercy, can this be the end of Rico?” and they’ll look at you like you’re speaking in Georgian. Well, either folks today have never seen a science fiction movie, or they paid no attention:

At a loss for things to do this woozy post-Christmas weekend? Well, if you have access to a garage or basement — or even just some extra room on your dining table — you could always take up a hobby that is exploding in popularity across the Atlantic: genetic engineering. Or, to use the more fashionable term, “biohacking”.

Ants: Model for Human Society in View of Idiot Scientist

Friday, December 12th, 2008

So, here’s a gem from an interview with Edward O. Wilson, the father of “sociobiology” (the idea that behavior is a genetically acquired trait that is engendered in people through natural selection):

Are ants better at anything than humans?

Did The Pope Predict The Current Economic Collapse 25 Years Ago

Thursday, November 20th, 2008


According to Italian Finance Minister, Giulio Tremonti, Pope Benedict, (who works part time as a mall Santa) actually prophecized the current financial global meltdown in a paper he wrote nearly 25 years ago:

“The prediction that an undisciplined economy would collapse by its own rules can be found” in an article written by Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, who became pope in April 2005, Tremonti said yesterday at Milan’s Cattolica University.

That’s not exactly Kreskinesque now, is it? I’m not even sure he predicted anything. From what I gather, he said an undisciplined economy can collapse by its own rules. It’s a bit of a stretch to extrapolate that Pope Rat actually predicted the current global recession from those words he wrote 25 years ago. If that’s what predictions have down to, then I’m Sargon the Magnificent. Hey, here’s a prediction, I’m going to go upstairs in about 6 minutes and pour myself another rye and ginger. My God, you should really burn me at the stake, I’m a freakin’ witch! Here’s another prediction, in 25 seconds I’m going to go pee. “Stop it Mayor, you’re freaking’ us out!!!”

I predict the article will be here…voila!

God Works in Mysterious Ways

Thursday, October 23rd, 2008

Keyser was under the impress that a ganesh was one of those Jewish food things you buy in Brooklyn. But no. It turns out that it’s a sort of Hindu god that might choose to manifest himself in your plants. (more…)

“Have a bite. The serpent says it’s okay.”

Monday, October 20th, 2008

Amazing Science

Tuesday, February 5th, 2008

It is time to think about upgrading your brain.

As you know, the brain really is three brains: two primate brains: righty and lefty; and the amphibian complex or brain stem.

Lets talk about upgrading your amphibian complex. I can teach you how to use meditation, rituals, and amulets to change your amphibian brain into that of the far more advanced snake. Yes, you can now develop your own snake complex. This is good news.

Lets go!