People’s top 100 Most Beautiful People have been named, and featured at the top is no other than Angelina Jolie. That’s pretty safe.
Jessica Alba is #2, some dick named Isaiah Washington is #3, and get this, uber-slut, Eva Longoria is #4. I guess this clinches it: Every top 100 or top 10 beautiful list, other than The Mayor’s, is complete bullshit.
Picking Angelina is fine, it’s hard to dispute what a complete beauty she is. But Eva Longoria at #4? That wrinkled old hag has a face like a baboons ass for Christ’s sake. Everyone saw that picture I posted a few months back, she has a freakin’ dick for crying out loud.
Another sick cock, Terrance Howard, who, I will admit, I have never heard of before in my life, is describes thusly:
Regular manicures plus spa weekends “with a number of massages. That’s when I allow myself to be high-maintenance.”
Real men don’t get manicures and massages, real men get rub and tugs. Any guy that gets a manicure isn’t beautiful, he’s fabulous. That’s a big difference, and you know exactly what I’m saying.
Don’t pay any attention to People’s magazine, the only folks left on this earth that read that shitty rag are old, blue headed hags who go to shopping malls at 9:30 every morning and complain that their bagel’s aren’t fresh.
I’m telling you right now, next week I’m going to unleash a list that will make you squirt buckets.