Archive for the ‘Killing Machines’ Category

The sustainable supply chain

Sunday, July 8th, 2012

The Supreme Library of Mitchieville is pleased to announce the hiring of Ernst Blofeld as Vice President, Sustainable Supply Chain Operations. Like most corporations, the Supreme Library has been under attack from leftist Environmentalist activists in attempts to reduce shareholder value, cut dividends, and increase overhead. Mitchieville, in particular, has been criticized for its lack of multi grain toilet paper, harp seal upholstery, and rainforest meat entrees in the staff cafeteria. The Mayor and management at Mitchieville are confident that Ernst Blofeld can address the issues raised by the patchouli scented left and find final solutions for them.

We are lucky to be able to add Ernst to our management team. A proven performer with his previous firm SPECTRE, with an impressive zero record of failure, Ernst brings a demonstrated selection of ‘think out side the box’ methods of solving problems, especially in dealing with fringe leftist organizations.

As a way of saying Welcome to the environmentalist activist community, Ernst will be holding a meet and greet at the Supreme Central Library of Mitchieville on Friday the Thirteenth of July. After a buffet of Green foods and hippie produced wine, Ernst will take the activists on a tour of the Organic Recycling center, the power plant, and the cardboard compactor center. Others interested in seeing how an imaginative approach can find a thousand year solution to their leftist activist problem are welcome to attend, listen, and watch.

I, Fenris Badwulf, I care.

Killing Machines

Saturday, June 11th, 2011

From Wikipedia:

The garrote particularly refers to the execution device used in Spain until as recently as 1973. In Spain, it was abolished, as well as the death penalty, in 1978 with the new constitution. Originally, it was an execution where the convict was killed by hitting him with a club (garrote in Spanish). Later, it was modified and consisted of a seat to restrain the condemned person, while the executioner tightened a metal band around his/her neck with a crank or a wheel until suffocation of the condemned person was accomplished.

Some versions of this device incorporated a fixed metal blade or spike directed at the spinal cord to hasten the breaking of the neck. Such a device can be seen in the James Bond films The World Is Not Enough, The Living Daylights, and From Russia with Love. The spiked version, called the Catalan garrote, was used as late as 1940 (as well as being used by other Spanish colonies until shortly after the 1898 Spanish-American War). American authorities chose to keep the garrote in the Philippines after that Spanish colony was captured in 1898, and its use was not abolished until 1902 (Act No. 451, passed September 2, 1902). The most notable victims of the garrote in the Philippines were the trio of native priests, the Gomburza, for their alleged participation in the Cavite Mutiny.

Sometimes the gum The Mayor is chewing gets kinda lodged in his throat and he has to cough rather harshly to loosen in up, but the garrote seems painful as well. Minus the gum, of course.