Archive for the ‘Avril Lavigne’ Category

Mitchieville Remembers Jeff Healey

Sunday, March 2nd, 2008

Canadians will wake up this morning to hear the sad news that one of our nations finest musical talents, guitar great Jeff Healey, passed away yesterday at the young age of 41. The hour is late and this won’t be the definitive post on his career but I have a “Jeff Healey story” to tell that will rival my Avril story.

Back in high school (the late 80’s) his song ‘Angel Eyes’ was a huge international hit. It was around this same time that Jeff made his acting debut playing a wise (and blind) blues man in the otherwise forgettable movie ‘Roadhouse’ with Patrick Swayze. I took a young lass, my first real girlfriend, to see the movie and the song ‘Angel Eyes’ quickly became “our song”. We danced to it at a couple high school dances, listened to it in the car, and I lost my virginity with that song in the background. Ah young love, I went away to work for the summer and returned home to find she had been sleeping with the guy down the road, needless to say we weren’t an item anymore.

Fast forward to the end of high school, I meet and fall in love with the woman destined to be my ex-wife. What song do we first here on our first date together, yup, ‘Angel Eyes’, which of course becomes “our song”. A year later we are going to college in Peterborough and we got tickets to see The Jeff Healey Band live at The Pines in Bridgenorth. The Pines was a great seedy place to see a guy like Jeff Healey, 300 young and drunk good ol’ Ontario kids in a small venue. The show was incredible and I’m telling you he pulled out all the stops. The closing number of course was ‘Angel Eyes’. The future sole occupant of my house gets teary eyed and says “our song, remember the first time we heard our song together”*. I stuttered something in reply but I’m sure you can all guess as to which ‘first time’ I was really remembering.

Whether it be his at his bar in Toronto (where he gave a pre-teen Jimmy Bowskill his first break), on his radio show, or live in concert Jeff Healey was always the consummate gentleman. In recent years he would take his Jazz Wizards band on the road and play with high school jazz\blues bands to help develop students and spread the good word called The Blues. We will never see his like again.

If you never had the pleasure of seeing Jeff play guitar then this clip will give you a glimpse of what you missed:

*we were on our way to Belleville on a date and I was driving my dad’s ‘72 Chrysler Newport, the song was playing on AM800 CJBQ.

Happy Birthday, Avril

Thursday, September 27th, 2007

I just remembered that my good friend Avril Lavigne turned 23 today. This being her birthday and all has me thinking back to when we were young and all the good times we had. She has a number one hit right now, a best selling CD, and a mansion with 10.5 bathrooms, yet I feel bad that I didn’t get her anything. Maybe I can get The Mayor to rustle up a Mitchieville t-shirt for her. In lieu of a present, a card, or even a phone call from me – a valued old friend from her youth - I have her newest video up Mitchieville. Maybe with a few more CD sales Avril and Deryck can get that half bathroom finished.

If Only I Had Been A Sk8er Boi

Monday, August 13th, 2007

aka – Reg’s Avril Lavigne story

Inspired by a our humble Minister of Finance and the continuing “Dullest Story Ever Told” series at Grant Miller Media, I have lovingly written for you, our valued Mitchieville readers, a post about Avril before she became famous. As to whether this post is dull, boring, or the best post ever at Mitchieville, I leave that up to you to decide…

Avril Lavigne and I are in many ways kindred spirits. I was born at Belleville General Hospital and Avril was born at Belleville General Hospital. Avril grew up in Napanee, my mother’s paternal descendants first settled in Napanee (in 1788. After the yanks won the Revolutionary War the relatives returned home to New York State after fighting for England to find their farm torched. The good King paid reparations by giving the family two plots of land in Camden East thus I can claim bonafide United Empire Loyalist heritage). My bond with Avril is more than just mere geography though. Years before ‘Sk8er Boi‘ and international fame came her way sweet little Avril Lavigne used to hang at Reg’s house.

Avril has a cousin (whom we’ll call ‘April’), who lived on the street behind my parent’s house in the small Centre Hastings village I grew up in. When Avril and her family would visit town the two Lavigne cousins would cut through the backyard to our place where they would hang out with my sister. Now my sister is 7 years younger than me so ‘hang out with’ really meant ‘play Barbie’s with’ or ‘played at the park across the street with’. I remember Avril coming around a few times, but as I was 18ish, and she was a little girl of only 6 or 7, I barely paid any attention to her.

Flash forward to five years ago to the Stirling Agricultural Fair “Big Daddy” Demolition Derby (where my brother will have two vehicles entered into competition this weekend). I was helping my brother get a car ready for the night when my little sister and April (who is attractive in her own right btw) stopped by to say hello. They told me that the little girl who used to stop by and play was about to be the next Shania or Celine. At the time I gave a half-hearted ‘good for her’ response all the while thinking that this was nothing more than small town wishful thinking. I saw the ‘Complicated’ video a week later on MuchMusic.

True story.

Avril Lavigne Is Out of Your League

Monday, August 6th, 2007

If I had a nickle for every time I heard someone say that they would like to have sexual intercourse with Avril Lavigne, I’d have enough money to buy myself a small appliance.

Perhaps you have said that you would also like to have sexual intercourse with Avril Lavigne. Well, impure thoughts are not going to get you anywhere. At the end of the day, all your perverted fantasies are not going to get you closer to having sexual intercourse with Avril Lavigne. You should start with a smaller fantasy. Maybe you could fantasize about the young Lebanese girl with the bad teeth who works at the corner store, I’m sure you have a far better chance of sexual intercourse with her than you do with Avril Lavigne.

Let’s face it, the young Lebanese girl with the bad teeth who works at the corner store makes $7.50 an hour, Avril makes that in 1 second. Face it pal, Avril is out of your league.

Today, We Are All Whibley’s

Monday, July 17th, 2006

Avril Lavigne has reportedly married 26-year-old Deryck Whibley of Sum 41 and now her name is officially Avril Whibley. Yes folks, believe it or not, her name is now Avril Whibley. For those of you that can’t seem to get it through your head, her name is now Avril Whibley.

That’s not cool.

What would have been cool is if buddys last name was Snodgrass, or even O’Bumsuing. But it’s not, it Whibley, and she’ll have to live with being a Whibley.

May the happy couple share a life of joy and make many little Whibley’s.

Sk8r Boi is just a Whibley

Avril Lavigne STILL Rocks. For Sure

Wednesday, May 10th, 2006

It seems as if my post on Avril Lavigne the other day didn’t go over so well with a few of Mitchieville’s faithful. I got lambasted with all sorts of negative comments, like, “Avril is a moron”, and “Avril is a dwarf”. These comments hurt the The Mayor, it made me cry.

However, there was one girl that made The Mayor happy, and that girl is Courtney Hart, from an Avril Lavigne fan club site. Courtney is from Napanee, Ontario, just like Avril, and Courtney could quite possibly be Avril’s biggest and bestest fan. For sure.

Courtney and I got to talking the other day and decided that it would be great fun if we had a pajama party. We thought it would be boffo if we ordered a pizza, play Avril songs all night long and talk about boys. So we did.

What fun we had, it was one of the best times of my life. I ate FIVE slices of pizza and drank FOUR cans of no-name cola. Courtney had TWO slices of pizza, TWO cans of no-name cola, and then she went to the washroom and stuck her fingers down her mouth and puked all over the floor. HAHAHA, that was so funny. I was like, “Ewwww, Oh my God!”. She was like “I know, totally”. But it was made funnier because Courtney had a pepperoni hanging out of her nose.

We listened to so many great Avril songs, we rocked and or rolled all night. First we started off by listening to the entire My Happy Ending album, followed by Under My Skin, which was like totally cool, like, oh my God. Then we got into some Let Go, and Courtney was like “Oh my God”, and I was like “I so know”.

Then we had this major pillow fight, it was not only funny, but it was totally cool, like oh my God. Courtney hit me in the face with a pillow and said, “oh my God”, and I was like “Fi fi sho sho down the chain, byatch”. That made Courtney laugh.

After the pillow fight which I like totally won, oh my God, we talked about boys until 3am. Courtney’s parents were pissed, they said, “Hey buddy, you’re 39, my daughter is 16, get the fuck out of here or I’ll call the cops”. I was like “Oh my God”, and Courtney was like “Totally”.

And that’s the reason why Courtney ran away from home and is now living with me.

I know what you’re thinking, you’re thinking, “Oh my God”. I only have one answer for you, and that’s, “Like totally”.

Avril Lavigne and the *Rock Glam* Look

Monday, May 8th, 2006

Someone asked me the other day how Avril Lavigne’s career as a Ford Model was going (I’m now the *go to* person for all things famous), and I said, “How the hell should I know, I’m not a stalker, asshole”.

Not much of a story, but it gives me another chance to post one of the most beautiful women God has ever put on this earth.

“I think I just went from 17 to 21. I’m a woman now. When I first broke on the scene, I was a little kid straight out of high school and into skate-boarding and all that. Now I’m older. I’ll keep wearing the rock look but a little more feminine, a little more of that rock glam thing going on.”

I’m positive that in a few years I will truly hate Avril Lavigne, it could be as close as two weeks, but for now I’m enjoying the hell out of her, watching her career blossom like the blossomy little blossom bud that she is.

Look at me, I’m all giddy.

If Avril knew what was good for her career, she would return my phone calls

Avril Lavigne Wants to Play Nice

Thursday, January 26th, 2006

Many of you think of Avril Lavigne as a top notch pop/rock star. Many of you believe Avril Lavigne is a spoiled little brat who deserves to be taken to the woodshed and made example of. Many of you probably have never thought about Avril Lavigne at all, and couldn’t care less what she’s about. Fair enough.

For those of you that are actually interested in Avril Lavigne, this may come as somewhat of a surprise:

Punk princess Avril Lavigne has signed with Ford Models and wants to land a high-fashion advertising campaign.

Lavigne says, “I want to do those really beautiful ads with the high-end products. I look through magazines and stare at ads and think, ‘I’m not six feet tall, but I know I can do that.’”

Good for Avril. I think she’s going to make an amazing model, she’s certainly beautiful enough, there’s no doot aboot it.

I like Avril Lavigne, I think her music kicks ass. Unlike most musicians that are currently on the circuit, Avril Lavigne writes her own tunes and plays guitar, and sings. She’s young, she’s attractive, she’s talented, she pretty much has it all. If Avril Lavigne wants to model, then model the hell all you want, that’s good enough for me. If Avril wants to light homeless Vietnam veterans on fire, then I’m all for that too. Whatever Avril wants, and says, she deserves.

Plus, she’s already beautiful as it is, imagine when the designers rip off that scowling, brooding, mess of a face, and work on it a bit.

She’s going to be fucking sweet.

It’s not complicated