Archive for the ‘Barack Hussein Obama (PBUH)’ Category

Best Beach Buddies Foreva!

Wednesday, February 22nd, 2017

It’s February 21 today and Mitchieville is experiencing a heat wave – 54 degrees! Typically, around this time of year people are losing fingers and toes and our homeless are throwing themselves in flaming barrels. But not this week, oh noes, not this week.

In honour of this terrific weather, The Mayor brings to you Obama and Reggie Love. Strolling on the beach, sharing a personal joke, possible holding hands. Obama has put on weight though, you can easily tell from the picture. He must be what now, 90 lbs?

Schlonged

Monday, December 5th, 2016

You can’t take half-measures if you suspect cockroaches have started to infest your house. You need to exterminate them sons-of-bitches quick-smart. Shining a bright lite may rid them for a spell, but they’re lurking…..oh how they’re lurking. Especially that one with the bat ears.

Remember, that which you tolerate you will get more of.

Obama Finally Focuses In On America’s Real Problem

Monday, October 7th, 2013

It is good to see that even though America is drowning in a sea of problems and government scandals, Obama is still able to pinpoint with absolute clarity the one and only problem America needs to immediately address:

President Barack Obama says that if he owned the Washington Redskins, he would “think about changing” the team name, wading into the controversy over a football nickname that many people deem offensive to Native Americans.

Naming a team the “Redskins” is “offensive to Native Americans”, but naming a military operation “Geronimo“, where an elite team of soldiers go to a foreign land and assassinate a human being while the president of the United States watches and applauds, well, that’s not offensive at all to Native Americans.

Go Home & Have A Nice Quiet Sleep

Thursday, June 6th, 2013

The Obama administration is collecting phone records of tens of millions of Americans – don’t worry about it, everything will be ok.

The TSA gropes and molests little children, the elderly and veterans – don’t worry about it, everything will be ok.

The IRS shakes down Conservative groups and hands leftist organizations immediate tax-free status – don’t worry about it, everything will be ok.

The DHS puchases 2 billion rounds of ammo for “domestic consumption.” – don’t worry about it, everything will be ok.

The FAA predicts over 30,000 domestic drones by the end of 2013 – don’t worry about it, everything will be ok.

NDAA 2011 and its “indefinite detention without charge” – don’t worry about it, everything will be ok.

The DOJ places weapons in the hands of Mexican drug cartels, the same weapons that end up slaughtering Mexicans, Americans and border officials, yet Holder and gang go scott free – don’t worry about it, everything will be ok.

45 appointed Czars by Obama, many avowed Communists, like Van Jones – don’t worry about it, everything will be ok.

On March 16, 2012, Barack Obama signed an Executive Order stating that the President and his specifically designated Secretaries now have the authority to commandeer all domestic U.S. resources including food and water. Including PEACETIME – don’t worry about it, everything will be ok.

The Justice Department secretly seizes A.P. and FOX reporter’s phone records – don’t worry about it, everything will be ok.

Trillion dollar deficits year after year after year after year – don’t worry about it, everything will be ok.

The US gov’t is on the verge of allowing 30 million 3rd worlders into the country, which will forever change the face of the States for the negative – don’t worry, everything will be ok.

Unfunded liabilities are in the range of $200 trillion – don’t worry about it, everything will be ok.

Obama’s quest to rid legal weapons from law-abiding Americans – don’t worry about it, everything will be ok.

A bought-and-paid-for media that sits securely in the back pocket of the Democrat party – don’t worry about it, everything will be ok.

Obama signs the National Defense Authorization Act of 2012, which authorizes the military to arrest and indefinitely detain anyone suspected of assisting terrorists, even citizens – don’t worry about it, everything will be ok.

The executive authority to order assassination of citizens – don’t worry about it, everything will be ok.

You’ll be told when to worry, but it’s not now, so go have a nice, quiet sleep.

Does Obama Actually Know Anything About Anything?

Tuesday, May 21st, 2013

He’s the smartest President that has ever lived. Everyone can agree. Everyone on the left at one point HAS agreed. He’s a Harvard man. A brilliant orator. He probably has an IQ of about 190 ish. Again – smmmmmmart.

Which makes you wonder – if he’s the smartest President that has ever lived, previous, current and post, how come he wasn’t informed of any wrongdoings before they were discovered in either the Fox/AP/CBS tapping scandal, Benghazi-gate, or the IRS targeting of Conservative groups?

In the case of the IRS scandal, top Obamanator officials have known for years that the IRS were targeting Conservative groups, but Obama didn’t even receive a whiff of that news – for TWO years. He knew NOTHING. Heard NOTHING. Not an innuendo, a rumour, no hearsay, or even a smidgen of gossip.

When it came to Benghazi-gate, again – he was told NOTHING. Top officials in his administration knew the rioting in front of the diplomatic outpost that killed four Americans wasn’t due to a Youtube video, yet a week after the Americans were murdered, Obama went in front of the UN and declared the killings were due to just that – a video.

Now we hear that the Justice Department had been tapping the phone lines and checking out the emails of Fox, AP and CBS reporters – for YEARS most likely, but again, Obama wasn’t told a thing until just the other day.

Now, if the guy is superdeeduper smart like everyone says he is, you would think one solitary figure from his administration would have approached him about any scandal that you would like to choose, and asked him what his opinion of the matter would be. Super smart people have a way of figuring things out. That’s why smart people are asked their opinion of things- because they are so smart. OTOH, dumb people are seldom asked what they would do in tricky situations. Because they are dumb and would give dumb answers. Smart people give non-dumb answers generally, dumb people are pretty constant in their dumbness.

Yet no one asked the smartest President ever what he would do in these very critical situations. Obama’s top officials treated him like he was the dumb guy. They treated him like Sloppy Joe Biden, the dumbest dumbass that has ever held the position of VP of the United States of them thar America.

There are more scandals to come, and rest assured when they hit the fan, the smartest President the world has ever known will know exactly Jack shit about them. But he’s terribly smart, just ask the people that treat him like a moron.

Obama’s Address To The Nation

Monday, April 15th, 2013

Good afternoon, everybody. Earlier today, I was briefed by my homeland security team on the events in Boston. Homeland Security personally contacted me as I was making my way to the 14th green. I couldn’t believe what they told me. For that matter, either could Zuckerberg, Jamie Diamond, and that other prick…the Jewish guy from Goldman Sachs…Lloyd Blankfein. I can never remember that pricks name. Blankfein. You would think that would be easy to remember. Perhaps I need a word-association to help me remember his name. Something like, “Shooting blanks.” That might just help.

Anyway, we were all shocked. Zuckerberg was so shocked he shit his pants. Diamond was so shocked he shit in Zuckerberg’s pants. My bodyman, Reggie Love, was so shock he could hardly massage my neck. We wuz all shocked. I was like, “please don’t tell me it was a Moslem that did it.” Sure enough…

The American people will say a prayer for Boston tonight. And so will i. You, at the church. Me, at the Mosque.

This was a despicable act. And to make things a billion times worse, the perp that has been apprehended was carrying a gun. A gun with a high-capacity magazine. A fully automatic gun with a high-capacity magazine that carried a lot of rounds of armour piercing bullets. High capacity bullets that explode on impact. As a matter of fact, he was carrying a fully automatic gun with a high capacity magazine and armour piercing bullets and a threaded barrel that is very heavy and used to take down gorillas and other large animals. The horrors!

It’s time we as Americans say no more. No more guns. This has to stop. If the killer’s gun had been registered we could have prevented this tragedy. How many more Boston Marathon Massacres® have to take place before we say NO MORE! No more guns! Think of the children. Think of the old people. Think of the planet.

Boston police, firefighters, and first responders as well as the National Guard responded heroically, and continue to do so as we speak. It’s a reminder that so many Americans serve and sacrifice on our behalf every single day, without regard to their own safety, in dangerous and difficult circumstances.

Mind you, they do get paid and it is their job to do this, so, ya. But still, they are hero’s because they did their job. One that they, ahhhhh, get paid to do.

Moving on, we have also learned that the gun carrying killer also had bombs, and placed these devices in trash cans where they inevitably went off and killed 2 people. We’re not sure how many thousands his guns have killed. I am having legislation being drafted as I speak, outlawing bombs, and, outlawing garbage cans. We don’t need a world full of killer guns, killer bombs, and especially killer garbage cans.

So there you have it, we are outlawing guns, bombs, and garbage cans. The only thing we are not outlawing are Saudi Arabians. Sure, they flew planes into our buildings killing thousands, and have been behind hundreds if not thousands of bombings around the world the last 20 years, and yes, the person who caused all of today’s destruction is a Saudi, but I’m instead going to bad garbage cans.

We have to remember, you cannot paint all Saudi’s with the same brush. Surely a few of them aren’t terrorists. And when we find one that isn’t we’ll let you know. So until then, more unchecked mass Saudi Immigration into our melting pot.

I just want to reiterate, we will find out who did this and we will hold them accountable. Unless it’s Eric Holder, any banker, black Panther, black anything, communist, socialist, liberal (redundant), or CEO that donated to my re-election fund. So, other than that, we’ll find you, you Tea Partying murderer and you’ll be in for a world of hurt.

Good For Thee But Not For Me – The Journal *News* Arms Up

Wednesday, January 2nd, 2013

Remember a few week’s ago when that liberal rag, The Journal *News*, published an interactive map of pistol permit holders names and addresses in Rockland and Westchester counties? Well, the *News* was so *alarmed* by the negative response that they hired armed security guards:

A Clarkstown police report issued on December 28, 2012, confirmed that The Journal News has hired armed security guards from New City-based RGA Investigations and that they are manning the newspaper’s Rockland County headquarters at 1 Crosfield Ave., West Nyack, through at least tomorrow, Wednesday, January 2, 2013.
 
According to police reports on public record, Journal News Rockland Editor Caryn A. McBride was alarmed by the volume of “negative correspondence,” namely an avalanche of phone calls and emails to the Journal News office, following the newspaper’s publishing of a map of all pistol permit holders in Rockland and Westchester.
 
Due to apparent safety concerns, the newspaper then decided to hire RGA Investigations to provide armed personnel to man the location.
 
Private investigator Richard Ayoob is the administrator of RGA. He told the Clarkstown Police on Friday, December 28 that there had been no problems on site at the Journal News headquarters despite the massive influx of phone calls and emails.

Keep in mind that Editor Caryn McBride didn’t actually receive any threats, and that at no time was she or her staff under any danger. Editor Caryn McBride hired armed guards (guards with guns, not just arms) not because she feared for what has happened, but what could possibly, maybe, a slight chance, one-in-a-million, ya never the hell know what could happen. Sort of like a homeowner having a gun not because he knows there’s going to be a break in and a wife-raping, but because there’s a chance that MIGHT happen.

However, had McBride and the powers-that-be been smarter, they would have just erected a big sign saying “Gun Free Zone” above the doorway at the entrance of the *News*. That kind of liberal progressiveness has solved the problem of weapons offenses at every mall, school, and gun-free city across the entire United States.

Forward!

Still Celebrating

Tuesday, November 20th, 2012

The best and brightest have spoken – Obame for five again year.

(that’s four plus one again year)

Vote Early And Often

Tuesday, November 6th, 2012

The Mayor doesn’t have to tell that piece of advice to nearly 50% of the American electorate, they’re waaaay ahead of him.

The polls are showing a virtual tie between Romney and Obama, and The Mayor is sure in the eyes of the msm it is a tie. Oversampling, relying on data from 2008, and a variety of other ocular illusions are meant to take the piss out of the Conservative base, but you will see in less that 12 hours the landscape of the United States of America has shifted notably right. Congratulations President Romney.

Conservatives can’t figure out how anyone in their right mind could vote for Obama, after all, Obama has failed miserably as President. Unemployment has skyrocketed, folks have dropped out of the workforce by the millions, the debt and deficit are now astronomical, and he implemented a health care act that will break the backs of employers and employees alike. Add to that his horrible foreign policy failures, food stamp recipients through the roof, bankers being given the golden ricebowl even though they should all be shot in the face at close range, etc, etc, etcfrickingcetera.

Why will 47% of Americans vote for Obama tonight? Obamaphone.

Entitlements. It’s all about entitlements.

The Mayor was once told by a guy who was on welfare for nearly 25 years, that not working was a full time job. It took a lot of work beating the system. And when you see those disgusting maggots going to the polls to vote for a pathetic reject like that commie slime Obama, you know that’s what those useless pieces of trash are thinking: how can I get more shit for nothing?

Those who vote for Obama are voting to take your money and give it to the lowest form of scum on the planet. Case closed.

When all is said and done and Romney is the new President, prepare for the riots. They’re coming. The undesirables believe their free ride is coming to an end and they won’t let that happen without a fight. It’ll get good and ugly, but it’s far past due. Prepare yourself.

The Situation Room

Wednesday, October 31st, 2012

Yahoo describes this scene as:

“U.S. President Barack Obama (R) receives an update on the ongoing response to Hurricane Sandy during a meeting with administration officials in the Situation Room of the White House in Washington.”

The Mayor describes this as, “Paper cup, paper cup, paper cup, paper cup, plastic water bottle, gold tea cup and saucer.”

Know your place, biznitches.

Why Snoop Is Voting For Obama

Wednesday, October 10th, 2012

Just so The Mayor gets this straight – Someone who goes by the name “Snoop” won’t vote for a guy that goes by the name Mitt? He also won’t vote for Mitt because Mitt’s the wrong coloured “nigga”?

Okay.

Finally, Obama looks like he can fight?

Wow, seriously, *Snoopy*, it’s time to put down the bong. Does this 120 lb Halfrican really look like he can fight?

Bow To Your Superior

Friday, October 5th, 2012

Relax, Kenyan, Romney is a Morman, not a Muslim.

Thanks to Doug, at SondraKistan.com