Man Arrested For Trying To Have Orgy With Mannequins
Monday, November 3rd, 2008
Just like the title says: Man, mannequin, orgy, arrested:
Department store staff were left shocked after discovering a burglar tucked up in bed with some of their plastic female dummies.
Staff who opened the store in the morning found Metin Erzurum wrapped up in a window display bed with three mannequins.The 37-year-old kinky burglar is being charged with burglary and criminal damage after admitting he attempted an orgy with the dummies.
I’d be lying if I told you I never fantasized about bagging me a mannequin. I’m not shy in admitting that there was a time in my life when I nearly ran away with a certain mannequin beauty. I was 22, impressionable, and was coming off a bad relationship. I wasn’t even looking for a girlfriend, but it just happened, it was like destiny.
I was in the mall looking for a turtleneck sweater when I saw her standing in the window of the Suzy Shiers. She was like no other woman I have seen before–her smooth, plasticy skin, her wide, beautiful brown eyes, and her half an arm, twisted sideways, almost impossibly.
She was gorgeous in her split-neck cable-knit sweater dress with matching Bobby Blu faux leather knee-high boots. Our eyes met, I stared deep inside her cavernous eye sockets, and she stared back at me without blinking, obviously. I knew at that point I had to have her. I went into the Suzy Shier and sauntered over to the window, and when some old lady inquired to one of the sales associates about a pair of striped herringbone cropped pants, I took full advantage of the opportunity and threw my new-found love over my shoulder and ran for the parking lot.
I took her home and placed her gently in my favourite chair. I asked her her name, but she was shy and didn’t answer me. I decided to call her Ruby. After a few drinks, I could see that Ruby was loosening up. Usually I’m not the type of guy that takes advantage of a woman with a belly full of margarita’s, but I’d be damned if I didn’t get to taste the plasticy goodness of this spectacular beauty.
I sat down beside Ruby and placed my hand on her cold knee. Being the shy girl that she is, she didn’t let on if this was a *go or no* moment. Typically, not acknowledging my advances really pisses me off, but this was a night for love, not a night for violence and anger. I took my hand off her knee and put it around her neck. Ruby still didn’t move, she just sat there, with not a care in the world. I then tried to turn her head towards me, but she seemed to have incredible neck muscles and I couldn’t even budge her head an inch. I tried even harder, but nothing. Finally, using two hands, I yanked her neck towards me and plum pulled her head right off.
I will tell you right here and now: Pulling a woman’s head off is a buzz killer.
I panicked. My adrenalin was flowing, I couldn’t make sense of the situation. I took ruby’s head and carcass and brought it out to my backyard and threw it all in the fire pit I had. I lit her on fire and watched the blue flames escape to the sky. Even though the fire was raging and Ruby’s plastic skin was burning off in chunks, she made one last attempt to reach me. She said…I…will…always….love…..youuuuuuuuu.
