Crime doesn’t pay, but crime fighter governor Eliot Spitzer does at $4300 a shot. This is “Kristen” the 22 year old chick who blew Eliot Spitzer’s career:

What I find pathetic in all of this isn’t the ruined career, the damaged marriage, or the public ridicule, it’s the fact that Spitzer paid $4300 a pop for something that fumbling frat boys can get free at a keg party. If Eliot Spitzer wanted hot anonymous sex and save himself some cash all he had to do is what I do: blog at Mitchieville. The Mayor, Fenris and Mike know what I’m talking about - WOOT!

I just spent the last week on midnight shift. Midnight shifts are the worst as you’re always tired and your system is totally out of whack. I tend to have headaches all shift long and of course there isn’t a whole heck going on in Metropolitan Belleville to keep me amused. I asked at last weeks FNFF for people to send me emails to help get me through midnights and the long cold boring Canadian nights. The following is an exhaustive list of the good people who sent me emails this week: Loganotron, Raphael and a reader named Jason (who btw is my newest Facebook friend).

The following people didn’t send me emails and are officially on my shit list:

Dmorris, The Mayor, Kmorris, Fenris, TLDG, Sargon, Screaming Bill, Patrick Hillman, Darcey, Godless Commie, my alleged best friend, Steamboat McGoo, 45+ “friends” on Facebook (I’m looking at you Linds), and Mark Nicomedo.

For you people who didn’t email me, this is your Friday Morning Female Flesh pic:

For Jason, Raphael and Logan, but mostly Jason and Raphael, I have a worthy Female Flesh pic below. The rest of you aren’t allowed to look at her so piss off.

Canadians will wake up this morning to hear the sad news that one of our nations finest musical talents, guitar great Jeff Healey, passed away yesterday at the young age of 41. The hour is late and this won’t be the definitive post on his career but I have a “Jeff Healey story” to tell that will rival my Avril story.

Back in high school (the late 80’s) his song ‘Angel Eyes’ was a huge international hit. It was around this same time that Jeff made his acting debut playing a wise (and blind) blues man in the otherwise forgettable movie ‘Roadhouse’ with Patrick Swayze. I took a young lass, my first real girlfriend, to see the movie and the song ‘Angel Eyes’ quickly became “our song”. We danced to it at a couple high school dances, listened to it in the car, and I lost my virginity with that song in the background. Ah young love, I went away to work for the summer and returned home to find she had been sleeping with the guy down the road, needless to say we weren’t an item anymore.

Fast forward to the end of high school, I meet and fall in love with the woman destined to be my ex-wife. What song do we first here on our first date together, yup, ‘Angel Eyes’, which of course becomes “our song”. A year later we are going to college in Peterborough and we got tickets to see The Jeff Healey Band live at The Pines in Bridgenorth. The Pines was a great seedy place to see a guy like Jeff Healey, 300 young and drunk good ol’ Ontario kids in a small venue. The show was incredible and I’m telling you he pulled out all the stops. The closing number of course was ‘Angel Eyes’. The future sole occupant of my house gets teary eyed and says “our song, remember the first time we heard our song together”*. I stuttered something in reply but I’m sure you can all guess as to which ‘first time’ I was really remembering.

Whether it be his at his bar in Toronto (where he gave a pre-teen Jimmy Bowskill his first break), on his radio show, or live in concert Jeff Healey was always the consummate gentleman. In recent years he would take his Jazz Wizards band on the road and play with high school jazz\blues bands to help develop students and spread the good word called The Blues. We will never see his like again.

If you never had the pleasure of seeing Jeff play guitar then this clip will give you a glimpse of what you missed:

*we were on our way to Belleville on a date and I was driving my dad’s ‘72 Chrysler Newport, the song was playing on AM800 CJBQ.

I’ll admit to having more than a passing interest in Erica Campbell so I’m posting her again for a third time. Complaints can be made to The Friday Night Female Flesh Feminist Complaints and Human Rights Queries Tribunal Commision c\o Fenris Badwulf School of Telemarketing.

Readers should be thankful for The Mayor’s ‘Krispy Creme’ post the other day. My “friend” Marginalized Action Dinosaur suggested that I was fat earlier in the week and I was going to retaliate by posting some large size Female Flesh tonight. I mentioned to His Worship that I was going to strike out at all of Mitchieville for MAD’s hurtful and insensitive comments and the next day we had 12 plus size beauties to look at. The Mayor, he sure is swell isn’t he?

MAD has also accused me of removing him from the sidebar, and his linky link isn’t there for some reason (I think I deleted it when I added Mugs), so maybe that’s why he called me fat. For the record, I prefer the term ’stocky’. Speaking of fat, Fat Tuesday (a day of feast before the start of Lent) was the other day and Belleville is about 2 hours away from the nearest place that sells decent Paczki , so that made me all irritable and depressed. If only there was a blogger in Toronto who could get me some paczki from Granowska’s in Roncesvalles, that would be great.

Valentine’s Day is only a few days away and I’m betting that none of the male readers have got their ladies something pretty yet. This link , suggested to me by The Blogging Tories hardest working blogger, Raphael Alexander , will provide a few gift ideas and hours of entertainment (or minutes depending on your mojo). If you only click one link this week make it this link. I highly recommend you try the ‘come closer’ function.

I took these two pictures a few minutes ago from the kitchen of my rural Canadian chateau. By South-Central Ontario standards we have had a lot of snow this year - more snow this winter than all of last winter - and we still have two months to go. I get the feeling that Algore has been lying to me about this whole global warming thing.

Here are my prediction for 2008:

- this time a year from now the pop-culture fad of the global warming crisis will have passed us by and been replaced by something to do with avian flu carrying monkeys or some other feigned global crisis.

- Fenris will find true love and begin his new life in California as the sire to a yet-to-be-discovered pantiless Hollywood starlet (I could be wrong, predictions are more of a Sargon thing and the morning after headache I have clouds my sight).

- Enig-Mac will post three times in the same month, possibly March.

- Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama will be lead an armed assault on The White House after GWB declares martial law and names his brother Jeb ‘Successor and Rightful Heir To The Throne of Americaland’. The assault fails.

- In a bold play for more web traffic The London Fog will rebrand itself as the The London Smog.

- Fred Thompson dies while shagging his teenage wife.

- The Vancouver Canucks will win Lord Stanley’s Cup, The Miami Dolphins will go 16-0, and The Toronto Maple Laffs will increase tickets prices after a sub .500 season.

Now then, where is my Ginsu knife at?

I spent a combined 7 hours in doctors offices and the sixth circle of hell, better known as Belleville General Hospital, to find out that my foot isn’t broken. If I don’t feel better on Monday (read: in f*cking agony) I’m supposed to go see a doctor again. Expect a grumpy Reg this weekend.

Enough about me, I’m not going to write a post tonight and will post another hottie instead, hope you all don’t mind. Why am I posting two Friday Night Female Flesh posts in the same day? I blame Ice (NSFW).

For you prudes out there, or the long suffering members of *BITCH*, I offer this link to a selection of short stories by my favourite writer, Anton Chekhov. I recommend stories 148, 172, 097 (a personal fave), 196 and 028 (for Red Tory).

The voting for the 2007 Weblog Awards closed a few hours ago and it appears that Mitchieville finished a solid fifth place in the Best Canadian Blog category. Fifth isn’t so bad, and it is better than sixth right? So to cheer up our legions of supporters (we know who the two of you are), here is a list of other somewhat great things that are also fifth.

Beethoven’s Fifth

Led Zeppelin’s fifth album

The Fifth Beatle

The fifth wife of King Henry VIII

Canada’s fifth Prime Minister

The Fifth Element

The Fifth James Bond Movie

The Fifth Fleet

UPDATE: The 5th Canadian (Armoured) Division

I just remembered that my good friend Avril Lavigne turned 23 today. This being her birthday and all has me thinking back to when we were young and all the good times we had. She has a number one hit right now, a best selling CD, and a mansion with 10.5 bathrooms, yet I feel bad that I didn’t get her anything. Maybe I can get The Mayor to rustle up a Mitchieville t-shirt for her. In lieu of a present, a card, or even a phone call from me - a valued old friend from her youth - I have her newest video up Mitchieville. Maybe with a few more CD sales Avril and Deryck can get that half bathroom finished.

It would appear that Mark Rashotte and the crew at The Empire Theatre have scored a musical coup for the final outdoor concert of the summer. The Gambler, the man who gave kids everywhere an excuse to tell a Dolly Parton boob joke , the legendary Kenny Rogers is coming to Belleville. For readers in the urban areas of the world this may not seem like a big deal, but for a city of 45,000 in rural Canada, Kenny is big as it gets (except for The Hip , a show I tragically missed).

Kenny Rogers of course is known for a string of hit songs like The Gambler, Islands In The Stream, Lucille, Lady and the original gangsta rap song - Coward of the County. It is the band that Kenny was in before going solo, The First Edition, that I think is his best music. I’m betting that most readers have never heard of The First Edition before.

The First Edition was a band with musical talent. Before Mickey Jones joined The First Edition, he took over drums from Levon Helm of ‘The Band’ after Helm left the famous Bob Dylan tour. Mary Arnold (their second female vocalist) beat out a little known Karen Carpenter for the vocals job and along with Terry Williams, The First Edition would put out a number of top 20 hits during their time together. The band would play a mix of country, pop rock, and what could be called light-psychedelic. Thanks to YouTube you can see three of their biggest hits below (note: I can’t find ‘Something’s Burning’, which was their biggest song. If any of you can find it, let me know).

“Just Dropped In” – this song ranks as my favorite Kenny song. This clip is from The Smothers Brothers Show and I love the set. Trippy man, trippy.

“Cause You Know I Love You” – Sweet and simple. Don’t be alarmed, that pleasant sound you hear is called “harmony” which at one time was common in popular music.

Ah the classic “Ruby (Don’t take your love to town)“. This live version of the classic hit was the last big song for The First Edition and was the springboard for Kenny’s successful solo career. I dig the clothes and Kenny’s hair, note the great guitar work.