Archive for the ‘Bigguns’ Category

Easy Like Sunday Morning Reading

Sunday, May 9th, 2010

AFP – European air traffic faced disruptions Saturday as a cloud of ash spewing from an Icelandic volcano affected flights in Spain, France and Portugal, authorities said.

Visual Economics – Cost & Effects of The BP Oil Spill

Times Online – Chinese markets slide as jitters take hold

Paul Mitchell – Saturday Census Visit and Other IMPORTANT Stuff

Andy’s Redneck Ramblings – The Patch…(you are going to LOVE this).

Daily Bayonet – Global Warming Hoax Weekly Round-Up

Blazing Cat Fur – Toronto’s Bitchy Flamer Parade Denied Opportunity To Waste Hard Earned Tax Dollars…

Classical Liberal – Brilliance on the Political Left

Leather Penguin – Another of Nancy Pelosi’s Little Nuggets is Unearthed

Congratulations - Because you made it through Easy Like sunday Morning Reading, I’ve assembled some Japanese girls to thank you.

American Breasts Are Getting Bigger

Monday, April 26th, 2010

Ten years ago the average American woman was a 36C

A decade later they’re 36DD

In 10 years I’d love to see,

If American women are 46P.

Word.

Ten years ago, the median bra size in the U.S. was 36C. Now our nation’s median bra size is 36DD. Our boobs are bigger because we are more obese, of course. While many areas of the economy are doing pretty badly, to say the full-figured bra business is growing rapidly would be an understatement. The number of bigger bras sold increased 7.4 percent from 2008 to 2009, to about 160 million units.

160 million is a lot of bras,

That’s a ton of huge chested ma’s.

Which makes for a lot of open jaws,

And brings a smile to all the pa’s.

However, the full-figured bra category has some catching up to do with the category of bras for smaller gals, stylistically speaking. Women with DD, DDD, G, H, and K cups want the same sorts of interesting designs and detailing in their breast supports as smaller-busted chicks.

Big breasted chicks they just aint happy,

They say their bra’s are too darn crappy.

Bring those puppies over to pappy,

I’m sure he’ll give them a good tongue slappy.

Claudia Schiffer – Then & Now

Tuesday, March 30th, 2010

I’m not sure how old Claudia Schiffer is in either of these pictures, but if I was to guess, I’d say she was 24 and 38. That’s going from left to right, for those of you who are blind like Andy.

Claudia Schiffer has maintained her good looks over the years, she’s obviously taken care of herself. I’m not sure what that thing is on her lip is in the picture on the right, perhaps a canker sore, or perhaps a small African bone. Either way, when you think of Claudia Schiffer, the lips are probably not the first thing you think about. Although I’m not sure what is. Maybe it’s her giant personality, or her curvy sense of humour. Or even her stupid shoes.

Wait. What?

Claudia Schiffer has been the most successful supermodel ever. I don’t know that for a fact, but I like going out on the ledge and saying things that may or may not be true. That’s what differentiates me and every other blogger in the world: they rely on facts, while I rely on generalities and possibilities. Hahaha- losers.

Hump Day Hottie

Wednesday, March 24th, 2010

I know the first question you are going to ask The Mayor is, who is that lovely looking woman in the picture? Maybe you need to give The Mayor a break. I’m not Google.

Fortunately for you though, I put her name on the saved picture I ripped off a random website. The same random website I am now now giving credit to for taking their picture and stealing their bandwidth. Wow, how can I live with myself? Do I know what I have done? Have I committed a blogger faux pas?

Well slap me with a dead fish and call me Dennis.

Anyhoo, the lovely woman in the picture is Natalia Paris. She is 36 years old, born in Colombia, and by extensive of her birthplace and my overuse of generalities, means that she is probably either addicted to cocaine or is a drug addict.

Other Hump Day participants include Andy, from Andy’s Place. Be warned that Andy’s Hump Day Hottie is slightly less offensive than The Mayor’s Musical Interlude from Wednesday.

And that pretty much rounds out the participants as Classically Liberal hasn’t posted yet and Pseudonym is in Israel.

Hump Day Hottie

Wednesday, February 10th, 2010

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Today’s Hump Day Hottie comes to us courtesy of Jefferson Peak Photography.

I’m not sure what this lovely looking lady’s (alliteration) name is, but let’s call her Doris. That’s the first name that popped into my head when I saw her. Well, technically the first word that popped into my head was Slurkblub, but that wasn’t actually a word but the noise my throat made when I choked on my English Breakfast Tea.

And BTW, I’m actually drinking a generic English Breakfast tea this morning and it’s quite lovely. I’m surprised because typically I’ll have a Twining’s in the morning followed by a Tazo in the afternoon and maybe a Stash or a Williamson’s at night. But I needed some tea quick-smart the other day and the hole I was buying tea at didn’t have anything worth of spit so I had to get a no-name. And BANG!!! It turned out to be good. Small blessings, my friends, small blessings.

What a great story, I think the best word to describe it would be riveting.

Easy Like Sunday Morning

Sunday, February 7th, 2010

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Man, did you ever have an amazing night last night. You drank and drank and didn’t throw up, you were the life of the party, and you came home with a cowgirl. I can’t tell you how proud I am of you. Best of all, your wallet is still in your pants. For once you got the girl and she didn’t come home with you having the preconceived notion that she was going to rob you blind. To recap your good fortunes: You got drunk, you were the life of the party, you brought home a cowgirl, she gave you a cowpoke; your wallet is still in your pants, and if I don’t miss my guess; when you fully realize what has happened in the last 16 hours, you will walk around whistling zippity doo da out your ass for the next two weeks.

You are indeed da man. Here’s to you!

Hump Day Hottie

Wednesday, January 20th, 2010

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Today’s Hump Day Hottie is Sofia Vergara. Whenever I hear the name Sofia, I always think of the word *sofa*. So when I hear the name Sofia Vergara, it’s hard for me to call her her actual name, Sofia, but instead I automatically call her Sofa. That’s a true story. It’s also an interesting story that I’m sure you will file to the dark recesses of your mind, pulling it out of your memory bank one day, to use as your own story. And you know why you’ll do that? Two reasons: 1 – you live vicariously through me, and 2 – you’re a thief who enjoys stealing my intellectual property.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to retire to my Sofia when I intend to have a small nap.

I Forgot To Post The Humpday Hottie Yesterday

Thursday, January 7th, 2010

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But I’m sure you will all agree that this more than makes up for it.

No, please, there’s no need to thank me.

Kim Kardashian Earns $10,000 Per Tweet

Monday, December 28th, 2009

And I’ll give you two huge reasons why she earns that money and why she has 2 million “followers”:

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If you do a google image search I’m certain you can find two huge reasons over and over and over again.

Comes With Driverside Airbags

Monday, December 7th, 2009

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And because of the built-in safety features, she gets a break on her insurance. It’s win-win for everybody.

Hump Day Hottie – Three Days Late

Saturday, December 5th, 2009

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This Hump Day Hottie post is dedicated to one of the best friends Mitchieville has ever had: Nurse Kate.

Nurse Kate is feeling rather unappreciated around these parts as of late, and as The Mayor of the 49th fastest growing community in NE Durham Region, Ontario, Canada, North America, The World, The Universe, I want to say frankly and honestly that Mitchieville is never the same when Nurse Kate isn’t around. We appreciate her, we respect her, and we love her.

Nurse Kate is not only a nurse, but a model, a wife (possibly, I can’t verify that), someone who submits excellent material to The Mayor, and holds the BC high score for Space Invaders. Nurse Kate makes a mean rice risotto, has all her fingers and toes, and not unlike The Mayor, loves all the children of the world. Yes, whether those children are red, yellow, black or white, they are precious in her sight, Nurse Kate loves the little children of the world.

So here’s to you, Nurse Kate. We think you are special. But in a good way. Although everyone is special. You’re just more special. In a non-mentally retarded way. No offence to anyone who takes care of people with special needs. Seriously. I really should stop typing before all hell breaks loose. Special. Nurse Kate. Is.

Is Anyone Thirsty?

Friday, December 4th, 2009

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Because I’m pretty sure I know where you can get some refreshment.

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