What would Bubble Butt Week be if The Mayor didn’t include the ridiculously preposterous arse of Coco, Ice T’s wife? I’m not sure what advantage lifting weights would be to a woman who has to cart around 230 lbs of ass as it is. She’s going to get to the point where she’ll be able to crack coconuts open with her thighs.

I know you like this picture, and that makes you somewhat of a sicko. I’ve been drinking continuously since 2 pm this afternoon.

Just like jaws, by the time you see bubble butt coming at you, you’re already dead.

Many of you are looking at this picture and thinking this woman is wearing a g-string bikini bottom. Look again, it’s not a bikini bottom, her butt is attempting to eat Charles the pool boy. The pink thread you see see is actually Charles’ jacket.

Now this may stretch your mind: but if you kind of squint and look at this picture in the right light, her enormous bubbly buttocks actually looks like a cats face. When you see it you’ll shat brix.

Does this bubble butt make my pants look big?

What truly amazes me is that I saw the movie Avatar on a screen that wasn’t half that ginormous. I never thought I’d ever feel sorry for a toilet seat, but after seeing this picture I’m going to send Loquisha’s toilet seat a Hallmark card.

Since the reviews from the last Bubble Butt Week were so positive, I thought I would run this segment again. Positive reviews? Oh yes, quite positive. Here’s what the Toronto Sun had to say: “Most enlightening, an ocular buffet”.

The National Post said, “Another award-winner for Mitchieville, perhaps some of the finest writing ever”.

And then there was this by the New York Times, “We are total fanboys for the commie in chief”.

Finally, something truthful from the NYT.

Bubble Butt Week is back, and it’s bigger than ever. Enjoy. Mmmmmmm.

Who is Gabrielle Fox, you ask? I could ask you the same thing, because I have no idea. I’m not even sure I’m spelling her name correctly. I do know one thing though, I’ve had this picture saved for about 2 years with no good reason and it feels pretty darn good to finally get rid of it.

Whoever she is though, she takes good care of herself. She seems tidy, I’m sure she keeps a good house. I know she wouldn’t spend a ton of cash on laundry detergent because her clothes are so tiny she would only require one load a week. One load of laundry a week, you pervert. Man, talk about twisting around everything I say.

Even though the comments against Bubble Butt Week have been resoundingly negative, The Mayor still gets the feeling that this has been one of the most popular segments ever. If that’s true, then I’m sure Colon Week is going to be a killer.

Sean was good enough to send me this picture, and when I say “good enough”, I mean that now The Mayor must find Sean and beat him with his own spine.

Thanks for sticking with Bubble Butt Week, it’s been memorable, butt now it’s over. Of course, it will never be over in your minds eye, as I can guarantee the pictures you have seen this week will haunt your dreams for an eternity.

You’re welcome.

Two Dogs asked, nay — he begged The Mayor not to go ahead with Bubble Butt Week. But do you think I would listen, do you think I would heed my good friends advice? Oh no. Not The Mayor. I’m too freaking smart by half. You can’t tell me anything, I just won’t listen.

And now look what happened. I had to research bubble butts on various sites, and I got to this picture. I viewed it, and now I can’t see properly. I dun messed up ma vision!

Ma eyes feel like day have acid in dem. I can’t see straight no mo, or no I can’t. I can’t get the vision of that karaoke woman with the two bean bags strapped to her butt out of my mind.

There is one more day of this nonsense and then that’s it. I wash my hands of the whole stinkin’ mess. Next week I’m going to run with the series, “The Best Popes Week.”

Enlightening.

No more bubble butts.

There are many guys that think Kim Kardashian has a great bubble butt. Guys will be guys though, and I’m sure if you could strap a nipple or a crack on the black plague, many guys would say they find vermin sexy. I’m not sure re-reading that previous sentence will help you understand my illiteracy any better.

I suppose the point I’m trying to make is that Kim Kardashian doesn’t have a great bubble butt, she has a fat ass. She says she’s a size zero, but I’m sure she’s confusing her body size and her IQ.

And even though I have made a water-tight case against the virtues of Kim Kardashian’s clown-farm butt, it’s likely that more than 47% of Mitchieville men are frantically Google Imaging her pooter right this second.

I suppose this should actually be classified as a Double Bubble Butt.

I’m pretty much at a loss for words, and you should know by now that doesn’t happen all too often. I see pictures like this and only bad thoughts come to mind. Gross thoughts. Disgusting thoughts. Not perverted though. The thought that keeps going through my head is how does a creature like Bubble Butt 1 or Bubble Butt 2 manage to sit on the toilet? Even their g-strings look distressed.

I’ve said enough, I’m sure the good readership might have a thing or two to say.

I was thinking today that I have posted way too much fluff lately, not much substance. I generally try to make it an 80-20 split, with 80% nonsense and 20% serious posts. However, I felt as if Mitchieville was sliding into a 95-5 split the last month or so. I worry that I have lacked serious material.

And then I came up with the idea of Bubble Butt Week and completely redeemed the site.

I’m sure after this segment is over you will agree that Bubble Butt Week brought the substance back to Mitchieville.

Don’t thank The Mayor, I am but your humble servant.