Archive for the ‘Camp X-Ray’ Category

Camp X-Ray

Tuesday, May 4th, 2010

Apparently, as part of an alleged body parts ring, pvc pipes were inserted into the bones of dead people. I suppose this works on two levels – the pvc pipes make it look like there is a full body, this makes sense when transporting across international boundaries, and, the pvc pipes can later be used for any number of necessary plumbing jobs. Perhaps if the toilet leaks.

Body parts smugglers are often mischaracterized and demeaned, but really,when all is said and done, they are wonderful friends of the environment. Reduce, re-use, recycle.

Camp X-Ray

Tuesday, April 27th, 2010

Today’s x-ray comes to us courtesy of Nurse Kate. Thanks, Nurse Kate!

Nurse Kate didn’t tell The Mayor what the person in question swallowed, or hooped, so to be perfectly honest, The Mayor has no idea what’s going on in this x-ray. I’ve looked at this x-ray up, down, sideways, and I can’t figure out for the life of me what’s inside this person.

How about you, do you know what’s going on in this x-ray?

I won’t sleep until this mystery is solved. Someone go fetch Scooby Doo and his team of lovable misfits.

Camp X-Ray

Thursday, April 8th, 2010

More fingers just means more chances to wear more jewellery on your hands. Thanks genetic mutations!

I’m not sure where I stole this unattributed picture, so I can’t tell you any of the background story behind, but I can tell you without a doubt that this may or may not be real.

I think I’d like to have an extra few fingers on each hand as I tend to scratch a lot. Funny enough, I don’t really itch a lot, but I sure love scratching. Scratching and prodding, that’s what The Mayor likes. I also enjoy the occasional poking. Scratching, prodding and poking, that’s where the fun be, yo!

I betcha the guy whose body is attached to those talons can do a wicked *nanu-nanu spread-my-fingers-apart-when-I-shake-your-hands Mork from Ork* impression.

And then the post ends….

Camp X-Ray

Tuesday, March 23rd, 2010

An argument between Counter-Strike players at a Chinese net café over suspected use of a ‘wallhack’ cheat led to a 17-year-old boy being stabbed through the head with a foot-long knife – and living to tell the tale. (Graphic Photo)

A fight broke out outside the net café regarding the hack, and one assailant decided to do a little hacking of his own, stabbing large knife into the side of the cheater’s head, the tip of the blade barely protruding from the other side.

As explained by the blog administrator at Kotaku (graphic images om webpage):

Counter-Strike players in the Jilin province of China take cheating extremely seriously, as evidenced by the grievous wound suffered by one suspected cheater on March 16. The 17-year-old victim was suspected of using a hack that allowed him to see through walls, giving him an obvious benefit in the computerized game of hide and go kill each other.

Although the young boy wasn’t playing the game fairly, he learned a valuable lesson; I’m sure he got the point. It really makes me wonder though, what was going through his head? He knew the other kid wasn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer, the game was ultra-serious, cutting edge, if you will; yet he still engaged in cheatery. I know, it’s nothing to lose your head over, and I’m sure the boy has a good head on his shoulders, and both kids are head over heals for this game, and maybe I should even cut the stabber some slack, but it’s like a dagger to The Mayor’s heart when he reads stories like this.

Shank you for listening.

Camp X-Ray

Tuesday, February 23rd, 2010

xray-gun

I think we’ve found the source of your shooting pain, Mr Wilson.

I looked back through all of my x-ray posts this morning, about 30 in all. And I’ve come to the conclusion that if an object isn’t nailed down, it will eventually get swallowed or hooped by someone. Or swallowed AND hooped. It doesn’t matter what the size of the object is, or the weight, or whether it’s living or dead, it’s going to find its way into someones digestive system via the mouth or anus.

I suppose that’s why when I see an x-ray like this it doesn’t surprise me in the least; the only thing that surprises me is that it’s not a machine gun.

BTW, do you know what type of person goes to the hospital after swallowing or hooping a gun? A person of very low calibre.

Thank you, thank you very much. Make sure to tip the waitress.

Khalid Sheik Mohammed loves the Geneva Conventions, but on his terms

Wednesday, November 18th, 2009

glub_once_if_you_confess

President Obama really needs to keep that TelePrompTer closer during interviews. While in Asia, he made the proclamation that when Khalid Sheik Mohammed is found guilty and when the death penalty is applied to him, they won’t find it so “offensive”:

Obama added that he did not mean to suggest he was prejudging the outcome of Mohammed’s trial. “I’m not going to be in that courtroom,” he said. “That’s the job of the prosecutors, the judge and the jury.”

(more…)

Camp Xray

Monday, October 26th, 2009

verbaan

From the site – “In 2004, dutch actress Georgina Verbaan confounded critics who doubted the authenticity of her mams by publishing impressive x-ray profiles of the suspect assets on her website. The results are conclusive proof that the 25-year-old did not surgically enhance her breasts in advance of a €200,000 photo shoot for the December issue of Dutch Playboy.”

It’s funny, but breasts aren’t half as impressive when they’re shown in an xray. I can honestly say that looking at Georgina Verbaan’s xray’d breasts does absolutely nothing for me. Sure, now I understand why breasts are referred to as *globes*, and it also confirms to me that breasts are filled with nothing but bright white light and small pools of Pepsi Blue, but take away those scientific certainties and this xray isn’t interesting in the least.

For those of you that are interested in a clothed picture of Georgina Veerban – and I’m not sure why you would be – you can find a nice one here.

Camp X-Ray

Monday, September 14th, 2009

scissor-head

It must have been the funniest joke Edward Li Scissor Throat had ever heard:

When a friend told 27-year-old Kong Lin of eastern China heard a joke, Lin laughed so forcefully that he swallowed a 4-inch long pair of scissors he was using as a toothpick, reported the U.K.’s Daily Mail. The scissors, which became lodged in Lin’s throat, required surgical removal. Fortunately, according to the story, Lin emerged from the experience relatively unscathed.

First off, that’s brutal dental hygiene buddy is engaged in. Lose the scissors and invest 50 cents in some dental floss.

This is why when people tell me that Orientals are so smart I just roll my eyes. I’ve been posting enough x-rays of idiot Oriental people the last year to say definitively that Orientals are not smarter than caucasians, they are equally as stupid (funny – the word caucasians has the word asians in it).

Oh right, you probably want to know the joke buddy nearly lost his life over. It goes a little sumpin’ sumpin’ like this:

A man came home from work, sat down in his favorite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, “Quick, bring me a beer before it starts”

She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer. When he finished it, he said, “Quick, bring me another beer. It’s gonna start.”

This time she looked a little angry, but brought him a beer.

When it was gone, he said, “Quick, another beer before it starts.”

“That’s it!” She blows her top, “You bastard! You waltz in here, flop your fat ass down, don’t even say hello to me and then expect me to run around like your slave. Don’t you realize that I cook and clean and wash and iron all day long?”

The husband sighed. “Oh shit, it started!”

Camp X-Ray

Tuesday, May 26th, 2009

starfish

I’m sure when little Timmy heard the director say he was going to make him a star, he never thought in a thousand years it would be by having one jammed down his throat. That’s the price of stardom, I suppose. If you want to be famous, sometimes you have to suck on a few stars (wink wink, nudge nudge).

I’m not sure if this person got a starfish lodged in his throat, or if he ate a Christmas ornament. I like to think it was a Christmas ornament because I love Christmas. Maybe not so much that I’d start eating Christmas ornaments, but enough that I’d like to give you a lovely present and it’s only May 26. Come here and put your hand deep in my front, left pocket. C’mon now, don’t be shy, dig down a little deeper than that. Now over to the left. Merry Christmas, pervert!!!

Camp X-Ray

Thursday, May 21st, 2009

drill-bit-head

The site that I first spotted this x-ray on is pretty reputable, so I can only assume the pic isn’t Shopped. But even if it is, it’s still really cool. And it’s another reason why rank amateurs shouldn’t mess around with power tools or the bits associated with them.

I know nothing of the story surrounding this x-ray, but I do know with a degree of certainty that the person who has the drill bit attached to his head is Chinese. And that’s because the last 25 insane x-rays I’ve posted have all been of Chinese people with various objects stuck in their skulls. Who knows why, maybe it’s a good luck thing in China, like Year of the Dog or something.

Camp X-Ray

Tuesday, April 28th, 2009

This guy has more nails in his skull than I have in my fence. I’m going to go out on a limb and suggest this is gang related, I hear the Asian gangs in Australia are big fans of power tools:

An X-ray shows multiple nails embedded of the skull of 27-year-old Chen (Anthony) Liu that homicide squad detectives allege were fired from a high-powered nail gun in this police handout image made available April 24, 2009. Police believe Chen, whose decomposing body was discovered in Sydney’s Georges River in November 2008, was killed by being shot repeatedly in the head with a high-powered nail gun.

Alleged? Believe? The man has 25 three inch nails in his head, I think it’s pretty safe to assume the guy didn’t die in a lawnmower accident. At this point I’m surprised the Sydney cops didn’t release a sketch of who they’re looking for who did this: the hammer.

Camp X-Ray

Thursday, April 23rd, 2009

I’m not sure what the story is behind this X-Ray, but I’ve watched enough The First 24  to know it probably had to do with drugs, and took place in Memphis. From the look of the jawbone, I assume someone stuck a knife in a gorilla, and from the nostrils, I’d say the gorilla was over 1200 pounds. So maybe the gorilla deserved it, because there’s nothing scarier than a drugged-up 1200 lb gorilla from Memphis.