Apparently, as part of an alleged body parts ring, pvc pipes were inserted into the bones of dead people. I suppose this works on two levels – the pvc pipes make it look like there is a full body, this makes sense when transporting across international boundaries, and, the pvc pipes can later be used for any number of necessary plumbing jobs. Perhaps if the toilet leaks.

Body parts smugglers are often mischaracterized and demeaned, but really,when all is said and done, they are wonderful friends of the environment. Reduce, re-use, recycle.

Today’s x-ray comes to us courtesy of Nurse Kate. Thanks, Nurse Kate!

Nurse Kate didn’t tell The Mayor what the person in question swallowed, or hooped, so to be perfectly honest, The Mayor has no idea what’s going on in this x-ray. I’ve looked at this x-ray up, down, sideways, and I can’t figure out for the life of me what’s inside this person.

How about you, do you know what’s going on in this x-ray?

I won’t sleep until this mystery is solved. Someone go fetch Scooby Doo and his team of lovable misfits.

More fingers just means more chances to wear more jewellery on your hands. Thanks genetic mutations!

I’m not sure where I stole this unattributed picture, so I can’t tell you any of the background story behind, but I can tell you without a doubt that this may or may not be real.

I think I’d like to have an extra few fingers on each hand as I tend to scratch a lot. Funny enough, I don’t really itch a lot, but I sure love scratching. Scratching and prodding, that’s what The Mayor likes. I also enjoy the occasional poking. Scratching, prodding and poking, that’s where the fun be, yo!

I betcha the guy whose body is attached to those talons can do a wicked *nanu-nanu spread-my-fingers-apart-when-I-shake-your-hands Mork from Ork* impression.

And then the post ends….

An argument between Counter-Strike players at a Chinese net café over suspected use of a ‘wallhack’ cheat led to a 17-year-old boy being stabbed through the head with a foot-long knife – and living to tell the tale. (Graphic Photo)

A fight broke out outside the net café regarding the hack, and one assailant decided to do a little hacking of his own, stabbing large knife into the side of the cheater’s head, the tip of the blade barely protruding from the other side.

As explained by the blog administrator at Kotaku (graphic images om webpage):

Counter-Strike players in the Jilin province of China take cheating extremely seriously, as evidenced by the grievous wound suffered by one suspected cheater on March 16. The 17-year-old victim was suspected of using a hack that allowed him to see through walls, giving him an obvious benefit in the computerized game of hide and go kill each other.

Although the young boy wasn’t playing the game fairly, he learned a valuable lesson; I’m sure he got the point. It really makes me wonder though, what was going through his head? He knew the other kid wasn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer, the game was ultra-serious, cutting edge, if you will; yet he still engaged in cheatery. I know, it’s nothing to lose your head over, and I’m sure the boy has a good head on his shoulders, and both kids are head over heals for this game, and maybe I should even cut the stabber some slack, but it’s like a dagger to The Mayor’s heart when he reads stories like this.

Shank you for listening.

I think we’ve found the source of your shooting pain, Mr Wilson.

I looked back through all of my x-ray posts this morning, about 30 in all. And I’ve come to the conclusion that if an object isn’t nailed down, it will eventually get swallowed or hooped by someone. Or swallowed AND hooped. It doesn’t matter what the size of the object is, or the weight, or whether it’s living or dead, it’s going to find its way into someones digestive system via the mouth or anus.

I suppose that’s why when I see an x-ray like this it doesn’t surprise me in the least; the only thing that surprises me is that it’s not a machine gun.

BTW, do you know what type of person goes to the hospital after swallowing or hooping a gun? A person of very low calibre.

Thank you, thank you very much. Make sure to tip the waitress.

President Obama really needs to keep that TelePrompTer closer during interviews. While in Asia, he made the proclamation that when Khalid Sheik Mohammed is found guilty and when the death penalty is applied to him, they won’t find it so “offensive”:

Obama added that he did not mean to suggest he was prejudging the outcome of Mohammed’s trial. “I’m not going to be in that courtroom,” he said. “That’s the job of the prosecutors, the judge and the jury.”

No, no, of course not. Innocent until proven guilty and all. The larger problem is that these courts do not behave in the same manner as military courts:

Unlike military courts, civilian courts require warrants for evidence — warrants which are not typically obtained on the battlefield. Civilian courts also have much stricter rules for hearsay than military courts. Plus any defendants who were not read their Miranda rights could raise that as an issue.

Let me remind you of what Obama wanted to do once he was on the campaign trail:

Now, do these folks deserve Miranda rights? Do they deserve to be treated like a shoplifter down the block? Of course not.

He also said the same in March. What he didn’t bother telling you was that they were already in the process of reading Miranda to certain terror suspects, even as far back as 2006:

FBI and military interrogators who began work with the suspects in late 2006 called themselves the “Clean Team” and set as their goal the collection of virtually the same information the CIA had obtained from five of the six through duress at secret prisons.

To ensure that the data would not be tainted by allegations of torture or illegal coercion, the FBI and military team won the suspects’ trust over the past 16 months by using time-tested rapport-building techniques, the officials said.

So if the supposed “24 scenario”–there’s a bomb in the Capitol and we need to know how to find it now–ever happens, I hope you won’t mind waiting 16 months to find out where it is. There might even be some question as to whether the “good cop” routine was all that effective:

An unanswered question is whether the FBI and military interrogators could have extracted the same information without a road map from the CIA indicating what they might say. It also remains unknowable whether the detainees would have responded to a friendly approach without first receiving more aggressive treatment.

This is the experiment going on now–whether the rule of law found in a civilian court is going to impress the jihadis so much that they will cooperate with law enforcement. The trial is not about Khalid Sheik Mohammed, but it is the “enhanced interrogation” and detainment that is on trial.

Contrast this approach of civilian courts. Having terrorists or enemy combatants or what have you tried under US jurisdiction is essentially extending them all of the benefits of US citizenship without any of the responsibilities of lawful US behaviour. Meanwhile, if US military personnel are subject to military courts, why is it that for the enemy combatants these trials are not good enough, but for the US soldiers it is? Mohammed had his own stall tactics when in June 2008 he decided to fire his own lawyers appointed by the military. (Fun quote by Obama, as stated on September 8, 2008: “Anyone involved with 9/11…take ‘em out!” Well, not according to your new standards.)

Picture the situation if KSM is given an audience in a court describing what might be considered torture. Although it might not fit my or your definition, that is not going to matter. Most cases in civilian courts would be tossed out if the police were found to have coerced a confession out of any suspect, even if they were mere threats rather than anything anyone can interpret as torture. Those are the kinds of rights reserved for Americans on US soil. This applies to all domestic terrorists as well, provided they are not found to be in violation of laws forbidding forcible overthrow of the government or attempts to create total disorder. People like Jose Padilla and Nidal Hasan are still US citizens and are not in some legal limbo simply because “9/11 changed everything” or other trumped-up sayings.

The problem is that we are still weeding our way through this international extension of “rights” bestowed on enemy combatants, ones who are non-state actors (the real definition of “going rogue”) who declare war without official declarations first and commit combative acts without being in proper uniform. Their protection under the Geneva Conventions is somewhat suspect in instances like that, seeing as they themselves so brazenly disregarded those laws. How is that for the International Miranda reading? “You have the right to Geneva Convention protections; if you so waive these protections by violating their rules, this can be held against you in your jail cell.”

Because it’s all about obeying those Geneva Conventions, right? There is still a lot of wiggle room in the definitions of torture and enemy combatant, but probably not in this case:

Geneva Convention relative to the Treatment of Prisoners of War (Article 84)

A prisoner of war shall be tried only by a military court, unless the existing laws of the Detaining Power expressly permit the civil courts to try a member of the armed forces of the Detaining Power in respect of the particular offence alleged to have been committed by the prisoner of war.

In no circumstances whatever shall a prisoner of war be tried by a court of any kind which does not offer the essential guarantees of independence and impartiality as generally recognized, and, in particular, the procedure of which does not afford the accused the rights and means of defence provided for in Article 105.

(my bold)

KSM would have the impartiality required in a US military court, to which their own military personnel are subject. Would Obama’s attorney general, Eric Holder, care to make the argument that KSM was not an “enemy combatant”? Did he belong to any “armed forces” that you know of, Mr. Holder? If you care about protecting innocents around the world and keeping the Geneva Conventions legitimate, you will not allow Al Qaeda the recognition of a legitimate state, nor its members treatment as if they had to be protected from unjust prosecution.

From the site – “In 2004, dutch actress Georgina Verbaan confounded critics who doubted the authenticity of her mams by publishing impressive x-ray profiles of the suspect assets on her website. The results are conclusive proof that the 25-year-old did not surgically enhance her breasts in advance of a €200,000 photo shoot for the December issue of Dutch Playboy.”

It’s funny, but breasts aren’t half as impressive when they’re shown in an xray. I can honestly say that looking at Georgina Verbaan’s xray’d breasts does absolutely nothing for me. Sure, now I understand why breasts are referred to as *globes*, and it also confirms to me that breasts are filled with nothing but bright white light and small pools of Pepsi Blue, but take away those scientific certainties and this xray isn’t interesting in the least.

For those of you that are interested in a clothed picture of Georgina Veerban – and I’m not sure why you would be – you can find a nice one here.

It must have been the funniest joke Edward Li Scissor Throat had ever heard:

When a friend told 27-year-old Kong Lin of eastern China heard a joke, Lin laughed so forcefully that he swallowed a 4-inch long pair of scissors he was using as a toothpick, reported the U.K.’s Daily Mail. The scissors, which became lodged in Lin’s throat, required surgical removal. Fortunately, according to the story, Lin emerged from the experience relatively unscathed.

First off, that’s brutal dental hygiene buddy is engaged in. Lose the scissors and invest 50 cents in some dental floss.

This is why when people tell me that Orientals are so smart I just roll my eyes. I’ve been posting enough x-rays of idiot Oriental people the last year to say definitively that Orientals are not smarter than caucasians, they are equally as stupid (funny – the word caucasians has the word asians in it).

Oh right, you probably want to know the joke buddy nearly lost his life over. It goes a little sumpin’ sumpin’ like this:

A man came home from work, sat down in his favorite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, “Quick, bring me a beer before it starts”

She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer. When he finished it, he said, “Quick, bring me another beer. It’s gonna start.”

This time she looked a little angry, but brought him a beer.

When it was gone, he said, “Quick, another beer before it starts.”

“That’s it!” She blows her top, “You bastard! You waltz in here, flop your fat ass down, don’t even say hello to me and then expect me to run around like your slave. Don’t you realize that I cook and clean and wash and iron all day long?”

The husband sighed. “Oh shit, it started!”

I’m sure when little Timmy heard the director say he was going to make him a star, he never thought in a thousand years it would be by having one jammed down his throat. That’s the price of stardom, I suppose. If you want to be famous, sometimes you have to suck on a few stars (wink wink, nudge nudge).

I’m not sure if this person got a starfish lodged in his throat, or if he ate a Christmas ornament. I like to think it was a Christmas ornament because I love Christmas. Maybe not so much that I’d start eating Christmas ornaments, but enough that I’d like to give you a lovely present and it’s only May 26. Come here and put your hand deep in my front, left pocket. C’mon now, don’t be shy, dig down a little deeper than that. Now over to the left. Merry Christmas, pervert!!!

The site that I first spotted this x-ray on is pretty reputable, so I can only assume the pic isn’t Shopped. But even if it is, it’s still really cool. And it’s another reason why rank amateurs shouldn’t mess around with power tools or the bits associated with them.

I know nothing of the story surrounding this x-ray, but I do know with a degree of certainty that the person who has the drill bit attached to his head is Chinese. And that’s because the last 25 insane x-rays I’ve posted have all been of Chinese people with various objects stuck in their skulls. Who knows why, maybe it’s a good luck thing in China, like Year of the Dog or something.