The Mayor isn’t sure if this is an ugly dude or the winner of Miss Saskatchewan 2011? Either way, I have a feeling Iwon’t be sleeping much tonight now that I have this image burned into my head.
When The Mayor was younger he use to date a very pretty girl from Colombia. She really had a lot going for her; she was pretty, she was smart, she was athletic, she had good taste in guys, obviously – but she also had a stache, and that deeply concerned The Mayor to the point where one day he had to confront her about it.
Now, The Mayor isn’t a very shy kind of guy. If something needs to be said, he typically has no problem saying it. But confronting a chick about her mustache is a totally different type of beast. So instead of actually confronting her head-on, The Mayor took the backdoor approach.
“Trudy, we’ve been dating for a few months now, but I’m really sorry to say we have to break up.”
“Why, what have I done wrong?”
“Well, you’re Catholic. I’m a Mormon. Truth be told, because you’re Catholic, I don’t even think God is going to allow you into heaven. And I’ll be a son of a bitch if I’m going to be in heaven all lonely and shit.”
“Are you sure you aren’t breaking up with me because of my mustache?”
“What!!?? Noooooo. It’s because you’re Catholic.
Guys, and girls I suppose, if you’re dating a chick who’s sporting a stache and you want to break up with her, The Mayor gives you permission to use the whole Catholic/Mormon routine. It’s money in the bank.