42 dead in China, 1700 injured, this bastard hornet is going to kill every last human being on earth:
In person, the Asian giant hornet, which is the largest hornet species in the world, looks like “the wasp analog of a pit bull” with “a face that looks like you just can’t reason with it,” said Christopher K. Starr, professor of entomology at University of West Indies in Trinidad & Tobago.
And they’re big. The giant hornet extends about 3.5 to 3.9 centimeters in length (1.4 to 1.5 inches), roughly the size of a human thumb, and it has black tooth used for burrowing, according to an animal database at the University of Michigan. The queens are even bigger, with bodies that can grow longer than 5 centimeters (2 inches).
The species feed their young the larvae of other insects and use their mandibles to sever the limbs and heads of their prey.
The giant hornets are attracted to human sweat, alcohol and sweet flavors and smells. They are especially sensitive to when animals or people run, according to Xinhua.
If these beasts are attracted to sweat and booze stank, it’s just a matter of time before they kill The Mayor. There’s a good chance they are on their way to Mitchieville as The Mayor types this. They are attracted to booze stank and sweat, and probably also attracted to guys that like to piss outdoors. That’s the trifecta of death as far as The Mayor is concerned.
The Mayor is deathly afraid of bees and hornets, but strangely enough, he had a girlfriend in high school who had the name Anna Falactic. Crazy, eh? Even stranger than that, she use to refer to her vagina as her *honey pot*. Nothing could be further from the truth though, it was more like a hornets nest.
Reading further into the article, The Mayor sees that the chances of these bad bastards crossing the oceans and landing in North America are somewhere between slim and absolutely not. While that’s a good thing obviously, the bad thing is The Mayor knows now that he will never be able to buy his dream house in Xi’ning.