Archive for the ‘Clintons’ Category

Madam President & The First Manlet

Thursday, February 16th, 2017

Seriously, what are the chances of Hillary Clinton picking out the same pattern for her jacket that The Mayor’s grandma picked out for her couch back in 1972?

What a picture. Can you imagine what life would be like right now if those two deviants were in charge of the largest economy in the world? Can you imagine having that fat degenerate giving press conferences every…oh, 27 months or so, with the press corpse (Obama word) fawning over her like she shits gold skittles?

What a mess.

Remember – tune out the media and show the left no respect or patience. Treat them like the mentally ill fools that they are. And if life ever gets you down, come back to this post and look at that hideous picture of the two biggest criminals the word has ever seen.

Bill Clinton’s And Obama’s Views On Illegal Immigration

Thursday, February 9th, 2017

You can see why the sjw hero’s are so upset at Trump; his views on illegal immigration are way out of the mainstream.

Help A Brutha Out

Saturday, January 7th, 2017

If you have been fortunate enough to have drawn a breath the last 50 or so days, you are quite aware of the Obama administration accusing Russia of hacking the US election. Donald The Trump claims that there is no evidence whatsoever that the Russians hacked the election, while the Obama administration claims the exact opposite – that the Russians are indeed guilty of hacking.

Which brings The Mayor to this important question: The Mayor understands what the word *hack* means, and he also understands what the words *the, and election* mean. When all three words are strewn together, The Mayor pretty much catches the drift of what the sentence entails. What The Mayor can’t for the life figure out is if the Russian’s did indeed perform this hack, what did they physically do to alter the election?

For instance: The Obama admin claims that “Russia’s goals were to undermine public faith in the US democratic process.”

Fair enough. But how did they do that through hacking? As in, how did the Russian’s undermine public faith in the US democratic process if they did indeed hack the election?

Did the Russian’s change the vote count per state? Did they produce false information and distribute it through government channels that were hacked? Did they claim they had 55 million dollars in a bank and if democrats sent them money it would be released to them?

What exactly did the Russian’s do to harm Hillary and the democratic process through this hellion hack?

The Woof Of Wall Street

Thursday, February 18th, 2016

Many people are asking themselves today why Hilary Clinton got onstage in front of tens of tens of supporters and started barking like a dog? Was she retelling a story from the past that involved a dog? No. Was she telling a joke that involved a dog and needed to bark to drive home the punchline? No. Was she trying to garner support from the SPCA? No.

Then why on earth would someone running for president of the USA decide it was a good idea to bark like a dog? Simple. That’s what Goldman Sachs demands of Clinton before they write her a $360,000 cheque for a 20 minute speaking engagement.

And for $500,000? She would eat kibble out of Gary Cohn’s ass.

NY City Is A Filthy Pigsty

Tuesday, September 25th, 2012

A recent survey taken by someone/something or another, has found that NY City ranked the dirtiest city in the US (*rank* being the operative word):

The online poll of 50,000 people found that rats, funky odors and trash heaps were the main factors for the dubious distinction.

If there isn’t enough dirt for you, it also “won” the survey for being the loudest and rudest city in the country. It also ranked worst for affordability.

“ Rats, funky odors and trash heaps.” Hahaha – An obvious not-so-subtle reference to Hillary Clinton and her entourage.

It’s obvious, but rarely ever mentioned by the state-controlled media, that the filthiest, crappiest, dirtiest, begrimed, unsanitary, scummy, grubbiest cities in America are all run by liberals. Also, the most destitute, bankrupt, insolvent, impoverished, ass-brokedness cities in the US are run by liberals. It’s no coincidence. Although, NY City isn’t completely broke, yet, it does smell like ass 24/7, 366 on a leap year.

The difference between New York and other American cities is that New York has always stunk, had legions upon legions of rats, and hs always sported the loudest and rudest humans ever placed on this planet. Where as other cities around the US have slowly decayed, New York has always been decayed. No one ever goes to NY and says, “What a beautiful city!”, because it isn’t. It’s a trash heap. They just happen to have a good night life and great food everywhere. But you give up something to get something else. You get great food in NY, but you might wake up having a rat chewing off your nipple. You might be able to catch the opera on a Tuesday night, if you can hurdle over the AIDS infected homeless troll who’s drooling blood whilst gnawing on the marrow of a school child. See, you get something, but you have to give something up.

We didn’t need a survey to tell us NY is the bowel of the goat. It is, everyone with a pulse knows that. But it is good to be reminded sometimes that no matter how garbage-ish life can be, no matter what kind of horrible puke has come your way, no matter how ruthless the Lord has treated you, at least you’re not from NY.

Can The Mayor get an amen?

Chelsea Clinton Is “Stunning.” Really???

Monday, May 14th, 2012

In the Yahoo article where The Mayor pulled this picture from (how Yahoo continues to get crappier every day amazes The Mayor), Chelsea Clinton is described as “stunning.” The Mayor still hasn’t wrapped his head around that one yet. Maybe she’s stunning in the same way as a kick to the balls is stunning. But beautiful stunning? Hell no. She looks like her mother, and The Mayor means that in the cruelest way possible. If she wanted to complete the Hilary look, she might want to consider holding a pair of testicles in her claw.

Although Chelsea is on the red carpet, she would look better rolled up in a red carpet. And tossed from a moving van. The last time The Mayor saw a head that round it had a candle in it. The last time The Mayor saw a face that mangled was during the 2008 Islamic Olympics Women Catch The Acid Competition. Although The Mayor has to admit the clutch purse Chelsea is holding is pretty cute. But The Mayor doubts it holds much kibble and or bits.

No One Likes Chelsea Clinton

Tuesday, May 1st, 2012

Perhaps not EVERYONE hates her. The Mayor is sure her mom and dad still like her, but when it comes to her performance as a “reporter”,  there aint much love for her in TV land:

The former first daughter’s new job as a correspondent for NBC News has gotten off to a rocky start — and, after just two on-air pieces (thus far) for “Rock Center with Brian Williams” and the “NBC Nightly News,” she has become the target of withering criticism from inside the TV world.

And it’s only getting worse.

A piece headlined “Chelsea Clinton, TV’s Dork Diva, Struggles at NBC” that appeared last week on the media site buzzfeed.com has renewed questions about her qualifications for the job — and NBC’s motives for hiring her.

Even before Clinton agreed to join NBC last fall, the perception was that “the news channels were auditioning for her — not the other way around,” the article stated.

One high-ranking (and unidentified) NBC exec reportedly told colleagues after meeting with Clinton, 32, that “she was going to be simply ‘terrible’ on television.”

It’s easy to see what has happened so far. NBC hired Chelsea as a favour to Bill and Hillary, and to gain favour among their liberal brethren. Even though Chelsea obviously has a face for radio, and zero experience in the jouralista field, NBC hired her anyway. Although lacking any experience, NBC figured any idiot nowadays can be a journalista, and she would eventually grow into her role – much like a fungus grows on the scrotum if said scrotum isn’t properly washed. Unfortunately for NBC, Chelsea washes her scrotum, so to date her yeast infection has not grown like NBC would have hoped.

Chelsea Clinton is ability challenged, but NBC doesn’t hire on ability anyway, so that’s no biggie. Ratings at NBC have been going down faster than Obama on a plate of Chihuahua, but ratings don’t seem to matter to them, what seems to matter is carrying the water for the democrats. With that in mind, Chelsea is perfect and should fit in well with all the other malcontents, affirmative action hires, and crazed journalistas that infest the halls of 30 Rock.

Keepin’ It Real

Tuesday, February 7th, 2012

Peace in our time.

That scene was from a few years back, the time Hillary arrived in Bosnia under “sniper fire”. The type of sniper fire that doesn’t actually exist, except in Hillary’s mind.

The Mayor has to say though, the out-and-out lying by Hillary Clinton wasn’t the most bizarre thing about that trip she took, oh noes. The most bizarre thing was that Sinbad and Sheryl Crow accompanied her to Bosnia in order to give the troops a “morale-boosting” concert. The Mayor kids you not. Sinbad. Morale-boosting. And the anti-American Sheryl Crow. Morale-boosting. Sniper fire. Corkscrew landing. Misspoke. Sinbad. Presidential material.

Ladies & Gentlemen – The Next President Of The United States

Saturday, October 29th, 2011

“Still, Obama noted that the Pentagon never released photographs of terror mastermind Osama bin Laden after he was killed by U.S. Navy SEALs.

“That’s not something that I think we should relish,” the president said. “You know, I think that there’s a certain decorum with which you treat the dead even if it’s somebody who has done terrible things.”

It would be hard for even the most rabid liberal to admit that Hilary doesn’t look and sound pretty psychotic in that video. Thank goodness for the leftist cause that the only place you’ll ever see this video is
on YouTube and non-msm sites.

Good Thing He Shut Off The Tap

Tuesday, December 22nd, 2009

obama-taps-clinton

Only Vince Foster was brave enough to tap that leaky and rusty old spigot, and look what happened to that poor son ‘o bitch.

Sensitivity Test For Men

Monday, October 26th, 2009

1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:

A. Lovemaking.
B. Screwing.
C. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town.

2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you have both shared:

A. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship.
B. Your blood-test results.
C. Five tequila slammers.

3. You time your orgasm so that:

A. Your partner climaxes first.
B. You both climax simultaneously.
C. You don’t miss ESPN Sports Center.

4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:

A. Healthy, creative love-play..
B. Not the sort of thing your wife would agree to.
C. Not the sort of thing your wife needs to ever find out about.

5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you have just had sex with is:

A. The best part of the experience.
B. The second best part of the experience.
C. $100 extra.

6. Your wife/girlfriend says she’s gained five pounds in the last month. You tell her that it is:

A. Of no influence on your affectionate feelings for her.
B. Not a problem, she can join your gym.
C. A conservative estimate.

7. You think today’s sensitive, caring man is:

A. A myth.
B. An oxymoron.
C. A moron.

8. Foreplay is to sex as:

A. An appetizer is to entree.
B. Primer is to paint.
C. A long line is to an amusement park ride.

9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself  saying at the end of a relationship?A. I hope we can still be friends.
B. I’m not in right now, please leave a message at the beep.
C. Welcome to Dumpsville. Population, YOU.

 

10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
A. Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that  sort of intimacy.
B. Is uptight and a waste of time.
C. Shouldn’t have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.

**Thanks to Bits & Pieces

The New York Times was not finished yet

Thursday, August 13th, 2009

eye_as_in_i_dont_care

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is still grabbing headlines with her outburst at a student in Kinshasa on Monday. Who says that her husband gets all the attention? You’re not going to find a single news source ready to jump to the defence of Sec. Clinton’s behaviour.

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