It is not easy being me. I keep my mouth shut. I show up for work. I am a mercenary for the twenty first century …
The Big Boss was wearing his blue suit, not the black one he wears to funerals. He was angry. You could tell by the way the ice in his rye and ginger made tinkle-tinkle sounds. He was sitting at his big desk, and he had a wrinkly piece of paper … one of those greasy receipts you get from a mechanic; not as big as eight by eleven, a little smaller. Yellow paper with blue lines to guide your writing; some printing on it (the name of the mechanic) and that scratchy writing that mechanics have. There was a black thumb print, too, in the lower left corner. I never leave fingerprints; it must belong to the mechanic.
Damm it, Fenris, said the Big Boss, these charges for an oil change are way out of line. I wanted simple oil change for the wife’s car …
Fenris nodded like he understood. His face was a portrait of empathy. He started to spin the dragon ring on his left ring finger: clockwise. I shifted in the deep, comfortable leather chair I was sitting in, and tried to visualize myself as being invisible to any hungry crocodiles that might be around. I sipped my cold Coca Cola.
… and this, this, this is too much. One thousand, fourty-three, ninety-eight? That is bizarre! The Big Boss took a belt. Fenris began to spin his ring counter clockwise. This is way out of line … useless services …
Out of line, nodded Fenris. I sipped my Coca Cola.
Just look at this bill. A recycling fee charged for the new oil, and the OLD, the Big Boss stared at the yellow paper, like he was expecting the letters to correct themselves like on a trick scrabble board.
Fenris nodded. The Big Boss continued, This is bogus. These people took advantage of my good nature. They charged me for Green Oil? Why do I have to pay a recycling fee for Green Oil? Why does Green Oil need to be recycled? It is Green Oil. Should be able to pour it down the drain if it is Green Oil …
Fenris shook his head yes, then no. Let me look into this. The Big Boss handed Fenris the paper, then freshened up his rye and ginger. I sipped my Coca Cola.
The Big Boss sat at his big desk and punched some buttons on the keyboard set flush with the desk surface. He ran his hand over the white granite, and drummed his fingers.
Hmmm, said Fenris. This guy voted against you in the last election. He voted against your suggestions for the provincial and federal elections, too. Unusual for a small business owner.
The Big Boss scowled, and ate one of his ice cubes. His neck was turning red, and his shiny dome seemed to grow beads of sweat.
Fenris did more clicking on the hand held computer device thing he had. I do not have a clue who made it, just that it was small, convenient, and could access the internet. Hmmm, he said, pausing to spin his dragon ring, He has several overdue movies from the Mitchieville Public Library …
I sat up in my comfy chair, and parked my half empty Coca Cola on one of the Big Bosses white granite tables.
… and, this guy has blood type O
The Big Boss hrumphed. Fenris took some privilege tokens out of his pocket. Here, he said, giving a blue privilege token to the Big Boss, go to the Pleasure Center and relax, Boss. I will look into this problem personally. Fenris turned to me and gave me a red privilege token. He did not say anything. He never did in these matters.
I, Maximinus Thrax wrote this. I get things done.