Archive for the ‘Courtney Love’ Category

Courtney Love — She’s Not Dead Yet

Tuesday, July 7th, 2009


If you’re invested in any Death Pools, you may want to double-down on this creature:

And it was allegedly ‘littered with needles and used feminine hygiene products’ after she left the NYC hotel with daughter Frances Bean.

A source at New York’s Inn hotel said: “She caused so much damage in eight hours and wreaked so much havoc. It was actually kind of funny… minus the $US5000 in repairs.”

Recent photographs of the Hole singer have shown her in appalling condition, looking worryingly thin and pale.

I find it hard to believe that needles and used feminine hygiene products could cause so much damage, but considering they entered the skin of that drug-addled, booze sucking, herpe-machine, I suppose they have the same effect as holy water does on someone that’s demon possessed.

It’s also bizarre that the reporter says recent photos have shown Courtney Love “in appalling condition, looking worryingly thin and pale.” Can you think of any other time when Courtney Love didn’t look “worryingly thin and pale”? Every time I see her it looks like she was just gangsplashed by rodeo clowns.

Courtney Love Thinks Amy Winehouse Has A Drug Problem

Wednesday, September 5th, 2007

In an interview with the Rolling Stone, Courtney Love said that Amy Winehouse is the biggest druggie she has ever seen in her life:

“I’ve been with lots of people when they’ve taken coke, including stars like Lindsay Lohan and Kate Moss, but I’ve never seen anyone take as much coke as Amy. Even I wasn’t that bad.”

When you’re not as bad as Courtney Love, that’s saying a bundle. When you hear those words, it’s time for some serious self-reflection. That’s like Hitler telling you that you can’t join the SS because you’re too much of an anti-Semite.

That’s like a producer telling you that you can’t join the cast of his Broadway musical because you’re far too gay.

That’s like Courtney Love telling you that you’re a bigger druggie than she is. Oh right, that’s what this article is all about. You already knew that, didn’t you? Good job, check and mate.

For more of the pot calling the kettle black…

Courtney Love–Disgusting, No Matter How You Weigh It

Wednesday, August 1st, 2007

If I keep writing these nasty posts about celebrities, one day you’re going to start to think that I really don’t like many of them at all.

Courtney’s one of those people that loses weight and you can’t tell what looked better, when she was a lard or now when she’s anorexic. I see pictures like this and I immediately back away from my monitor, thinking that there’s a good chance she might use some of her witching powers to pull me through the tube and into her private hell. Well you’re not going to get me Courtney Love, not as long as I keep this necklace of garlic around my neck and this cross in my hand.

I think my drunken uncle Percy summed up Courtney Loves physical appearance the best when he said, “Baaaaaaarrrrffff”. He may not have had a way with words, but he sure knew an ugly woman when he saw one.

Courtney Love–Get back in yer hole

A big thank you is placed squarely on the River Rats head for bringing this to my attention. Ya, thanks, RR, I’m sure to have nightmares for a week now.

Courtney Love Exposed

Saturday, November 11th, 2006

Courtney Love has revealed (ha) that she has posed naked for a British magazine that will be released next month:

“This is going to be the next controversy,” she told ABC’s Dave Alpert, confirming that she had posed for the picture several weeks ago and decided she didn’t like the outfits that had been picked out for her.

“Just give me some stockings and a pair of high heels and … that’s it,” she said she had told the photographer.

The only person who I would want to see naked less than Courtney Love is….well, actually, Courtney Love is
the last person in the world who I would want to see naked.

I would rather see the naked, rotted corpse of Kurt Cobain than look at the walking disease portal that is Courtney Love. Courtney Love reminds me of the insane street urchin that screams at garbage cans and calls me *Jimmy*, except the crazy street urchin probably doesn’t have track-marks on her vagina. I’m not saying that Courtney is a dirty tramp, but she has had more meat enter her in her lifetime than the receiving doors at Burger King. I heard that when Courtney was born, she was the pick of the litter. I also heard that the other things in the litter was a discarded pizza box and some rat entrails. I also heard that the rat entrails was a close second.

It’s a love/hate relationship

Courtney Love is out of rehab

Wednesday, September 14th, 2005

Wow, I mean….wow. Like, holy crap, wow. I’m just….blah! Ouch, you know? Ahhhh, ewwwww, blah. Man. Wow, yuck, gosh. Ya.

So…uh huh. Yup, holy! Wow. What the? Jeeze. I’m really….ahhh….ahhh…ya….man. Then there’s the fact that…ahhhh, yuck.

There’s really nothing more to say.

God hates Courtney Love

Wednesday, August 10th, 2005

Courtney Love is up to her old tricks…

Courtney Love in trouble with authorities in Los Angeles, who say she has failed a drug test and violated her probation.

Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Rand Rubin issued a bench warrant for the troubled rocker on Wednesday, ordering her to return to court Aug. 19 for a review of her rehab reports.

The judge then threatened her attorney to do “something to solve Love’s problem, or we’re going to give her a year (in prison.)”

If I had to guess, I’d say they didn’t find cocaine in her system, that shit makes you skinny. If I were to wager, I’d say that she was snorting Big Macs.

Not that she was ever good looking, but seriously, she looks like a boating accident now. And what’s with her make-up, does she apply it with a cannon?

In February, Love was sentenced to three years’ probation and anger management counseling after pleading no contest to misdemeanor assault on a woman at the home of her former boyfriend.

At Sunday’s Comedy Central party, Love said she was clean, but fretted that people only noticed her recent weight gain. “I am sober for over a year now and no one cares,” she said on the red carpet. “It’s all about the weight gain, na na na na na.”

Let’s face facts, there is nothing about Courtney Love that is clean. When I hear the name Courtney Love, the first thing I think of is dirt. From the top of her stupid head to the tip of her fungusi toe, she reeks of dirt. Compared to Courtney, even dirt is clean.

Maybe I’m being too hard on Courtney, then again I’m thinking I’m not. She’s one of those people that whenever I see her, I just want to go outside and beat the first living object I see with a sawed off hockey stick. What do you call those people who you hate so much that it actually makes you physically sick? Oh right, musicians.

Article and image of Courtney Love