Archive for the ‘Descending Families’ Category

Driving Tip #232

Friday, August 31st, 2012

Not everyone can afford an expensive GPS for their car. Not everyone can afford a cheap GPS for their car. Not everyone can afford a car. Many who can afford a car shouldn’t be driving in the first place, but that’s a post for another day. Thanks to a generous grant from the Ministry of Transportation and the Arts Council of Canada, Mitchieville Drives® presents to you an inexpensive alternative to the common GPS – Post-It Notes.

Follow the instructions above, and in no time you will be as up-to-date in your automobile guidance system as the lugan driving the Beamer beside you.

But Post-It-Notes are expensive, you say? Sure, they can be expensive, but try this little trick: Steal them from work, or have someone you know steal them from work and give them to you. BAM, problem solved, biznitch!

Brought to you by Mitchieville Drives®, helping drivers’ help themselves for over half a year.

Families In Descending Order Week

Friday, December 4th, 2009


If someone asked me how Descending Families Week went, I would have to tell them that it had its ups and its downs. Thank you, you are a lovely audience. I would tell them it had its highs and its lows. Thank you, thank you very much. I would say I was thinking it was going to be a huge week, but ended up smaller than expected. Thank you, you are very kind. I would tell them that I expected a lot, but only got a little. Thank you, you’re making me blush. I would tell them to go to hell. Wait, that’s not funny, it’s insulting.

This is an interesting descending family because I’m sure in my mind they wanted to go from tallest to shortest, but somewhere along the line that little bastard child Tiberius snuck in beside Sawyer and effed the whole thing up. Wait ’til pa finds out that little rapscallion messed the picture up, he’s going to tan that youngin’s hide.

And so this ends Families In Descending Order Week. Have a safe drive home.

Families In Descending Order Week

Thursday, December 3rd, 2009


These are the fewest amount of people I have yet posted in Descending Families Week. It matches the descending amount of comments this segment has received to date. Descending Family Week ends tomorrow, and tomorrow can’t come soon enough.

P.S – that’s the ugliest family i have ever seen in my life.

Families In Descending Order Week

Wednesday, December 2nd, 2009


These people seem vertically challenged. They start out okay with the baby, but then the tallest guy gets shoved in ahead of the chick in the blue top followed by some old dude. I also think they’re standing on a slope, or the fence is constructed poorly, or the camera-person was high, or whatever, but I’m not satisfied with this at all, not one darn bit.

Andy was right, this segment could get really boring or could end up in a laughathon. And I don’t hear any laughing, so….

Families In Descending Order Week

Tuesday, December 1st, 2009


It’s not often I spit up my morning breakfast tea, but a comment made by Go_Fish yesterday in regard to the Descending Family post had me cleaning up hot liquid from my oversized mahogany desk:

Gaps in the order could usually be explained by

1) The Pox
2) Injuns
3) A mining or textile mill accident
4) All the above

Actually, all the comments from yesterday were pretty funny, but Go_Fish’s was the only one that made me hack-up tea.

I was looking at this descending family picture earlier on, and I thought for sure these people must be from Latvia. Just the look of them, the way they dress, the hair, the dead eyes. But then it occured to me that I wasn’t even close, I felt like such a goof. These people aren’t Latvian, they’re Estonian. Latvian men don’t wear cotton/poly blend sport jackets, Estonian men do. Latvian men wear poly/cotton blend sport jackets. Duh!

Man, talk about night and day. I hang my head in shame.

Families In Descending Order Week

Monday, November 30th, 2009


Do you know the reason why people hardly ever smiled in olden pictures? Because they were never quite sure when the flash was going to go off, and typically it took forever, so by the time it did, people were sick of smiling. I’m a bastion of knowledge, sometimes my brain hurts from having so much knowledge crammed into it.

If I didn’t know better, and I don’t, I would say that the husband in the picture is Christopher Reeves. It sure looks like him.

Now let’s go into yet another direction with this post. Descending families scare the living daylights out of The Mayor. Descending families and clowns. I’m not sure which scares me most, but both give me the willies.

So, how’s your wife and my kids?