Archive for the ‘Disgusting Olympic Commie Food’ Category

The Turducken

Tuesday, July 20th, 2010

Turducken (via John Madden) A turkey stuffed with a chicken, stuffed with a duck stuffed, with pork sausage, cornbread and stuffing.

From This is Why You’re Huge:

A turkey stuffed with a chicken, stuffed with a duck stuffed, with pork sausage, cornbread and stuffing.

I’m not big on the duck part. When I was about 20, my buddy invited me over for dinner – he went hunting that afternoon and was serving the duck he shot. There was nothing wrong with the duck, it was actually quite tasty, but he killed it with buckshot, and about my third bite in I ate some lead and it got caught in my throat. I couldn’t cough it out for the life of me, it just stayed in my throat, causing pain and not allowing me to smoke afterwards. I guess duck is now a phobia I have. As a mattera fact, whenever I see Daffy Duck on TV I want to vomit. Doesn’t anyone feel my pain?

More Bean Medley?

Monday, May 10th, 2010

Always the lamb, until Miss Jones got forced-fed chicken from The Colonel himself, then she turned into a sex monkey – ripping and clawing, biting and throwing her feces against the wall. She served The C0lonel well, but just like the thousands of women before her, after The Colonel finished degrading and abusing Miss Jones, he threw her away like the bones from a chicken that was covered in 12 delicious herbs and spices.

I know what you’re saying, “Mr Mayor, I thought there were only 11 herbs and spices on KFC chicken?”

Do you really want to know what the 12th spice is? Do you really want to know?

Disgusting Food Week

Thursday, April 29th, 2010

The truly amazing thing about this picture is that not only does the carrot sport a twig, it also sports a couple of berries to go along with it. Very impressive, so says The Mayor. What isn’t very impressive though, is the size of tackle the carrot has dangling betwixt its carrot thighs. I betcha all the other vegetables make fun of him when they shower together.

Disgusting Food Week

Wednesday, April 28th, 2010

The red pepper had it coming, look at the way it’s dressed.

Disgusting Food Week

Tuesday, April 27th, 2010

I suppose this isn’t disgusting if you intend to make a big heapin’ helpin’ of chili cock carne.

The Mayor always suspected something was up with the red hot pepper. The Mayor always had his reservations about them. As a matter of fact, I said to TLDG just the other night that peppers leave a strange taste in my mouth. Now I know why.

Disgusting Food Week sure is everything I thought it would be. And more!

Disgusting Food Week

Monday, April 26th, 2010

Oh my my, that’s quite a sight,

Seems like something aint quite right.

I’m sure you would love a bite,

Man that food sure is tight.

Is it a vegetable or a fruit?

It’s turning me on, I can’t dispute,

If you split it open does it make a toot?

I gotta put my tongue inside that chute.

Is it an apple or a pear?

Whatever it is it needs underwear.

Who really cares, so sayeth The Mayor

Get yer own perverted food, The Mayor don’t share.

That’s the end of my perverted screed,

I’ve done my job, oh yes indeed.

Did you laugh really hard until you peed?

That’s what you get for smoking dat weed

Disgusting Olympic Commie Food

Thursday, August 21st, 2008

If it has an asshole or an earlobe, you’ll find it in one form or another in Chinese food. I know, I know, it all tastes like chicken. The only thing that doesn’t taste like chicken in China is chicken. That taste like Mr Whiskers.

Disgusting Olympic Commie Food

Thursday, August 21st, 2008

What food doesn’t belong here: Chicken balls, egg roll, chow mien, dog brain soup, spring roll, Moo Goo Guy Pan. Well, if you’re dmorris, the Chicken balls, egg roll, chow mien, spring roll and Moo Goo Guy Pan don’t belong. The dog brain soup though, that’s another story. Let’s look at the thought process of dmorris, and reconstruct a comment he made just yesterday on Canada’s fifth best humour site. Roll the tape, Fenris;

I’ll take the godless devil food any day!

The Chinese may eat strange foods, but the preparation, the spices, the sauces, are exquisite.

Come to Vancouver some time, and me and Kate’ll show you some real oriental eateries!

Note how dmorris has no trouble eating food that has been prepared by the devil. I hope your stay in hell is a happy one dmorris, I hope Satan has plenty of fresh sheets and toilet paper at your disposal.

Next we see that while dmorris admits that many Chinese foods are *strange*, he immediately comes to the Chicoms rescue by throwing in that with the proper spices and sauces, said strange food transforms into a wonderfully, delectable eating experience and will make ones taste buds explode with happiness. Sure dmorris, now try defending the Chinese and what they did in Tiannimin, or how they took that ugly girl out of the Olympics and replaced her with a pretty girl. That’s what I thought, nothing but silence.

Finally, dmorris threatens me by saying I should come to Vancouver and eat dog brain soup and dung marbles and the anus out of a cat, or whatever other death foods the Chinese are cooking up that day. Thanks but no thanks, dmorris, I’ll stick to relatively safe foods, you can continue eating things that basically fall out of ones bum.

What have we learned today? We have learned that dmorris is secretly a communist. We have learned that when conditioned by the Chicom government, good men like dmorris will eat pretty much anything, including the brains of a dog, and various poo–as long as it has spices and sauces with it. We have learned that the world is a cruel place where grown men who were once stalwarts of democracy turn into maniacal, dog brain soup eating, commie tyrants. Ya, that’s what we have learned, and truth be told, I wish I had never learnt it.

**Funnily enough, the godless commie sent me the pic–you would dowell to send me a pic, too

Disgusting Olympic Commie Food

Tuesday, August 19th, 2008

Sometimes I look at what the cuisine is like in other countries and it makes me want to vomit. Then I think that maybe they’re saying the same thing about our North American cuisine. Maybe french fries and cheeseburgers are as gross to Chinese people as eating rat and sea urchins are to us. If my theory is true, then it can only mean one thing: Every country in the world except for ours, is fucked up.

Disgusting Olympic Commie Food

Monday, August 18th, 2008

Oh ya, you read that right, it says “Lizard legs”. Sure, it’s not the most disgusting Olympic commie food, but it’s only Monday and I don’t intend to blow my wad all at once, I intend to ramp up to the hilarious conclusion come Friday. Or possibly not.

Thanks to the Godless commie for sending me this…funnily enough.