A Thompson Rivers University lecturer has been warned by the gym he attends to replace the short shorts he currently sports (look at me, I’m rapping) because they are too revealing, but he refuses to do that, of course:
But the 48-year-old has refused to heed the warnings — and says he’d rather rescind his membership at the centre than toss out the six to eight pairs of short shorts he owns, one of them purchased from a Montreal Wal-Mart in 1997 for $5.
“I think it is discriminating and at the same time, I think it is a double standard,” he said. “Here you have women that are wearing shorts that are half my size and with, excuse my lingo, the boobs half falling [out] — and that’s acceptable.”
I’ve had a gym membership on and off for the last 20 years, and I can tell you unequivocally that women do not walk around in really tiny shorts, or with their boobs half hanging out. In my fantasy gym where all the fine ladies call me Greystone Steele they do, but they also work out while drinking margarita’s, wear cowboy boots and assless chaps, and spank me when I can’t bench press three sets of 240lbs.
But in neither my real gym or my fantasy gym is there anyone that dresses like the University lecturer. I’m pretty sure that no one has ever accused any University lecturer of having class, or style, or fashion sense, but it’s generally common knowledge among us finely tuned Adonises that you always show up to the gym wearing appropriate attire. You don’t walk around in short shorts, because first off that’s gayer than a toothpick, you don’t walk around with a half-pipe like what the lecturer is sporting, and you try not to draw attention to yourself.
And that’s the reason why gym girls don’t walk around scantily clothed: they want to be left alone. And I have three restraining orders and a broken heart to prove it.
What this comes down to is buddy is itching for a fight, and there isn’t a better time in the world to use the words *discriminating* and *double standard* than in today’s political climate. He just can’t understand that he is being inappropriate and should stop acting like a childish little idiot and grow the hell up. The world isn’t out to get you, pal, we just want the vision that is etched into our brains of you to go away.