Archive for the ‘Dogs Wearing Suits’ Category

Eye Bleach Time

Sunday, December 18th, 2016

Ralphie was nothing to write home about when he was 7 years old, but now that he’s 63, it certainly looks as though Old Man Time has given the poor bastard a series of kicks squarely in his fat, disgusting face.

Seeing these types of now-and-then photo’s really drives home the point, that if you drink way too much, abuse drugs, and engage in dirty sex with disease ridden whores, you can expect to go from being a pretty ugly little boy to an extremely weathered old rag of a human when you get older.

Mercy.

Eggsperiment

Monday, January 23rd, 2012

Unfortunately The Mayor has neither an egg or wire on hand, but perhaps if you do, you could be so kind to tell us how everything worked out. It’s all for science.

Dog Wearing A Hat Mini-Week

Wednesday, July 13th, 2011

The Mayor isn’t sure what kind of dog this is, but he certainly looks as if he has some English in him. He looks very refined, like he’s about to say something witty. It would be easy to imagine him saying something like “It’s raining cats and dogs and I just stepped on Uncle Tippy.”

Refined, veeeeery refined.

Dog Wearing A Suit Week

Thursday, June 3rd, 2010

Damn it, Fenris, I said send The Mayor pictures of dogs wearing suits, not dogs wearing sombrero’s. I am so mad right now I think I’ll raise property taxes 3%!

Dog Wearing A Suit Week

Wednesday, June 2nd, 2010

Technically, it’s a suit. It’s a pimp suit. When all the other dogs see pimp doggie, they say, “hey, dog, dawg.”

I’ve pretty much run out of dogs wearing suit pictures, this might have been a mistake.

Dog Wearing A Suit Week

Tuesday, June 1st, 2010

It seems The Mayor has a lot of weekly features that have dogs represented in them in one form or another. Truth be told, I absolutely love dogs. Funny thing though, I’ve never owned one.

There was a time not too long ago in the Mayor’s life when I resigned myself to the fact that I would never get married or have a significant other ever again. At the time, I was going to buy a dog and a few hundred acres up north and do basically nothing for three or four decades until the Lord called me home. I would have owned the bestest dog in the world, and when I went to Church on Sunday’s, I would dress myself AND my good boy in some sort of amazing suit and ride into town. My good boy would have sat next to me in the pew, and we would have a running joke where I’d let a ripper go, and when someone from the congregation would look at me, I’d point to the good boy like he did it. Then good boy and I would laugh and laugh and laugh.

All the other dogs would be crazy jealous, of course, because my good boy would always have the best suits. The other jealous dogs would come by our estate and try to pick fights with good boy, but my fella would brush them off, like the coolest dog in the world would do.

But those plans went by the wayside when I got married to TLDG. Sure I never got a dog, but TLDG and I are happy together and we have a wonderful, beautiful baby girl. And for now, when we go to Church on Sunday’s and I let a ripper go and someone from the congregation looks at me, I act like Clare did it. It’s funny now, but I have a feeling that joke is going to wear thin pretty soon.

And when it does, who knows, maybe I’ll get a dog.

That was a super story, I really got my groove on there, didn’t I?

Dog Wearing A Suit Week

Monday, May 31st, 2010

It’s true that the clothes make the man. It’s especially true for dogs. It’s been said many times, but it has always been true since the beginning of time – dogs are our future. Children? Nope. DOGS. Dogs are our future. And the best dressed dogs are going to get the best jobs. The unkempt dogs will be the ones begging for kibbles like a filthy child on the streets of Calcutta. Do you want your dog to be successful, or do you want your dog to be like a filthy Calcuttan child?

Do what is right. Do it for the dogs.