Archive for the ‘Don't tase me’ Category

Tasers performing better than expected!

Thursday, December 4th, 2008

From our beloved CBC, it turns out that Tasers are actually conducting up to 50% more current than previously advertised. I for one welcome the news as a sign of innovation in product development.

As the technical support team here in Mitchieville, I have had the misfortune to test many underperforming products, from dodgy little Priuses to massage parlour attendants who turned out to be dudes. We are constantly being marketed shoddy products from all over, and this struggling company out of Arizona with barely any name recognition is being unscrupluously maligned.

Police forces across North America assure people that Tasers are safe. The manufacturer, Taser International, has said its product has a higher safety margin than Tylenol.

That’s right. You ever try throwing a handful of Tylenol at an assailant? It only gets him or her angrier. That’s not a formula for safety, people.

This post will be followed up tomorrow with a brief 45 minute phone survey…