Archive for the ‘elections’ Category

America Is Screwed

Saturday, October 27th, 2012

We’re coming down to the final days until America chooses who will be the next president of the USA. An interesting graphic was released this week, asking who Americans thought was the strongest leader.

You can see there was a major gap between Obama and Romney for the longest time, about 6 months or so, or as pollsters refer to as the “shaft time.” The shaft narrowed a few months ago, until it formed into what pollsters refer to as “the head.”

10 days before the election, the head narrowed again and formed what pollsters refer to as “the tip.” And that’s where things stand as of today.

Missing from this chart is the strength of Libertarian candidate Gary Johnson. If Johnson was added to this chart, we wouldn’t see Johnson running neck-to-neck with the tip or head, but rather falling behind quite substantially toward the shaft, or perhaps further down toward what pollsters refer to as “the sac.”

The shaft turning toward the head, and then into a tightly formed tip can only mean one thing: we are at the climax.

Who America will erect elect as leader is anyone’s guess at this time, but one thing is for certain: Johnson is limp and cannot perform adequately.

Election Mitchieville

Saturday, September 24th, 2011

Things look bad for the Mayor. Lacking any details of his economic and social policies, his campaign has resorted to crippling innuendo. Given the sort of background data the Library of Mitchieville keeps on people, the Mayor’s access to secret tidbits is, well, you can think of answer to that one yourself. Regardless of the type of carpetbagger, scalawag, or stalking horse that comes out of an industrial society bogged in the age of the internet what this election really needs is some debate about economic policy.

Tariffs. How about some action on some trade barriers and punitive tariffs to support Mitchieville industry? Those no good greed capitalists have gone overseas; only good people remain behind in Mitchieville. These people are good category capitalists, unlike the bad category capitalists who are not residents of Mitchieville. Let us hear some commitment, some details, some numbers about that.

Consequences. Our foreign suppliers of slave labor products and services will suffer some sort of economic collapse after the Tariffs are imposed. History suggests that they will turn to military solutions to their domestic social problems. How about some action Mayor on a brisk re-armament plan to deter foreign aggression against the peace loving people of Mitchieville, as lead by their wise and kind leader, The Mayor of Mitchieville.

Social Policy. People who cause social problems need to be removed to places where they can receive the social assistance they need. What better way to save money on social services in order to provide better quality social services than to concentrate the most oppressed of our society into places where a full rainbow of services are available? A northern Ontario community, once dependent on Uranium (or was it Asbestos?), can be resettled with social workers and social check spenders. It can be a car free Utopia. How about some policy from the candidates; more especially from Mitch, the Mayor of Mitchieville.

Who cares?
Really, who is going to get the job done? When I drive out from my plantation in my Cadillac SUV, will I be greeted by the warming sight of chain gangs of felons and miscreant urban dwellers; will my banker greet me with tales of greater than expected returns on my investments; will my drunken wanderings on foot in urban centers find me greeted by warm sex trade workers with scented skins and painted lips?

Undoubtedly,
the Mayor will win. But will he do what his followers want him to do? With Strength and Justice?

Shocking Pictures Of Mockingbird Revealed

Thursday, September 22nd, 2011

Mitchieville Red Star – The race to be The Mayor of Mitchieville took another bizarre turn today, as pictures surfaced showing candidate Mockingbird in the midst of trying to bury another youngster alive. The pictures, sent anonymously to The Red Star, show an angry and confused Mockingbird, dumping hundreds of pounds of fresh dirt onto an unsuspecting boys head, obviously with the intent to kill him. To make matters even worse, it’s clear from these pictures that Mockingbird is dressed in women’s shoes and socks, and seems to have one of his hands down his own pants, pleasuring himself while performing a sadistic and heinous crime.

When reached at the brothel where Mockingbird can frequently be found, Mockingbird declined comment and tried to shoot Red Star reported Julio Hernandez.

When asked for comment, The Mayor of Mitchieville had this to say: “After yesterday’s twisted and demented pictures of Cudgel surfaced, The Mayor thought he had seen it all. But The Mayor was again unpleasantly surprised. The look on the side of the face of the young lad being buried alive will haunt The Mayor’s dreams for an eternity. The Mayor prays for the family of the young tortured victim, and hopes that Mockingbird will sign himself into one of the generously funded mental treatment centers we have here in Mitchieville, for much needed care.”

Childhood Picture Of Cudgel Revealed

Wednesday, September 21st, 2011

Mitchieville Red Star- The Mitchieville Red Star has uncovered shocking pictures of Cudgel, candidate for Mayor of Mitchieville, showing him bullying a younger, innocent child on the playground of his childhood school. Sources reveal to The Red Star that Cudgel was always known for his bullying of younger children, and often had to spend time in detention for his despicable acts.

When tracked down at the Rub, Tug, Pump and Hump “Tavern”, an intoxicated Cudgel declined comment.

The Mayor of Mitchieville did issue a statement, and it reads in part, “The Mayor is Mitchieville was as shocked as anyone when he first laid eyes on these horrible and saddening pictures. Bullying is a capital offense in Mitchieville and cannot and will not and especially cannot be tolerated and/or excused for any reason. Bullying is as evil and terrifying as rape or even murder. The Mayor is not exaggerating in the least when he says that when he first saw these pictures, he projectile vomited. On his dog. His vegetarian dog. His dog that hates George Bush. Let’s hope Cudgel gets the professional help he needs.”

Do Better

Monday, September 19th, 2011

The Mayor was busy on the campaign trail this past weekend and didn’t have a chance to put up any top-notch, award winning posts. And for that he apologizes. Sorry. While on the campaign trail though, it occurred to The Mayor that every successful campaign has to have a fantastic slogan. Obama had “Hope & Change”, Bill Clinton had “It’s the economy, stupid”, and Bob Dole had the catchy slogan “I’m not dead yet.” And that got The Mayor thinking that he needed a catchy slogan as well.

“Do Better!”

That’s it. “Do Better!”

It can be written with or without an exclamation point, either way it’s top-notch.

“Do Better!”

We can all “Do Better!”, some of us more than others. And if we all “Do Better!” we can all have a better world. Because that’s what we need. A better world.

The Mayor would like you to think about that this upcoming week. While driving off to your well paying job, think about how you can “Do Better!” While sitting at the dinner table tonight eating your mac & cheese, think how you could have made that mac & cheese better. Maybe you could have added more cheese. That would have made it better. Or less cheese. Maybe you had too much cheese and you needed less. That would have made your meal better.

Think how and what you could do better. Neary all of us, sans The Mayor, could always do better. Some of you couldn’t do any worse, therefore, it will be easy for you to do better. Maybe you suck at everything, that’s a possibility. Hell knows The Mayor knows an awful lot of useless people. For them though, they shouldn’t think how to “Do Better!” in a crappier way, but should think of how to “Do Better!” in a positive way. Perhaps the useless could ”Do Better!” by stepping out of the way of people who aren’t as useless as them. Please discuss.

The Mayor isn’t sure that any of the other candidates running for Mayor of Mitchieville would want you to do better, but he highly doubts it. “Status quo all the way”, the other candidates are fond of saying. But The Mayor won’t stand for the status quo. He won’t stand for it, not for one second. And that’s because The Mayor wants everyone – no matter what race., religion or creed – to “Do Better!”

Now get out there and make The Mayor proud. Get out there and “Do Better!”

**This message was brought to you by the campaign to re-elect The Mayor 2011

Election Mitchieville

Thursday, September 15th, 2011

As you are all aware by now, Mitchieville’s general election has been scheduled for October 6, 2011. The Mayor would like to start off by apologizing to his fellow Mitchievillian’s for not declaring that he would be running for re-election sooner, but he was very busy the last 3 week’s helping to build an orphanage in lower Mitchieville. The Mayor always thinks of the children first, after all, children are our future.

It looks as though there will be a full slate of candidates running for Mayor of Mitchieville this election cycle, and The Mayor couldn’t be happier. This is proof positive that Democracy and the love of Mitchieville is foremost in everyones mind. To all the candidates, The Mayor wishes you well.

The Mayor would like to ask all the candidates a favour though – let’s stick to the issues this election, let’s not get into heated rhetoric and personal attacks, the constituency of Mitchieville  deserves better. The constituents of Mitchieville DEMAND more.

Heated rhetoric and personal attacks benefit no one. It doesn’t matter what your past looks like, it only matters what your future looks like. For instance, what difference does it make that Cudgel was involved in a ponzi scheme that centered around frauding the Muscular Dystrophy Association when he was 26? It doesn’t make any difference, at least not in the eyes of The Mayor. Or does it really matter that rumours abound that Mockingbird likes to dress in potato sacks, visit local libraries around town and give Red Bull drinks to pre-schoolers? Not at all, it matters not at all. It doesn’t even matter that Marc in Calgary® has been treated at walk-in clinics for an Elmer’s glue addiction (sniffy sniffy). And if that doesn’t matter, it certainly doesn’t matter that Maximus Thrax hasn’t paid taxes on his luxury cottage in northern Mitchieville for close to 30 years. And if all that doesn’t matter, why would it matter that Pizzamancer was the Grand Kleagle for the Black Panthers between 1994 – 1997? It doesn’t matter, that’s the answer.

What matters is our vision for Mitchieville going forward.

And going forward, The Mayor will release his 28 points of light. 28 ideas for a better Mitchieville. And that is exciting. VERY exciting. The Mayor is also sure the other candidates have plenty of ideas as well, and can hardly wait to hear what those ideas are. Sure, no ideas have been brought forward to date, but The Mayor is confident they will be brought forward soon. The Mayor has been told by Fenris not to hold his breath, but let’s face it, anything is possible.

Again – good luck to all the candidates, may we keep this election free from heated rhetoric and personal attacks.

Overthrow the Mayor

Tuesday, September 6th, 2011

Election fever spreads in Mitchieville as four candidates step up to run to replace the Mayor. Mitch, the Mayor of Mitchieville, has neglected to file election papers and there are only four candidates running. This is a wide field, and a victory for democracy. Everyone agrees that the balding, fat, aging Mayor was getting too sluggish for his duties and hope for someone with youth and spirit to advance the agenda of You, the People of Mitchieville.

(more…)

Overthrow the Mayor

Monday, September 5th, 2011

There was as massive outpouring of admiration and concern for the old, tired Mayor, who is facing a much needed rest, retirement, and replacement by someone brave enough to step up to the task of being Mayor of Mitchieville. I looked into the old, rheumy eyes of our current but not future Mayor, dabbed at the drool coming out of his mouth with a shop rag, and patted his Turtle Wax’d head. Soon, the old coot’s troubles would be over; and someone else would be Mayor of Mitchieville. There is an election on, after all.

(more…)

Overthrow the Mayor

Friday, September 2nd, 2011

You, the people of Mitchieville, are tired of the Mayor as much as his wife and children are. As you read this, the Mayor is having a nap. The burdens of being Mayor are too much. It is time to replace the Mayor. It is election time in Mitchieville.

(more…)

Victory Coffee

Monday, August 8th, 2011



This sure cheered me up.
After two years of community activism I am confident that the activists of the left have organized even more. Expect more fairness at the polls.

Provincial Election Watch

Friday, July 29th, 2011

There is a provincial election being held in Ontario, apparently. The Red Star and the state media do not talk about it much. After all, with far right parties in power at the federal and municipal levels (Toronto), keeping the fascists out of power on at least one level of power should be important to any progressive tax spender.

Looking for polls.

Polls are great, eh? Once I see how close the social justice party is to power it will inspire me to vote. I need some good news in my life. An arts grant for my poetry. More free legal services when I am not responsible for wrapping my fingers around someones throat. Motivation. So, I went to the library where I can sit and scratch at my bedbugs and infected needle tracks in peace. A lot of libraries now have places you can dispose of your used needles (and, you can take them and sell them to your needle addict buddies as a way to recycle and to stick it to the corrupt, capitalist system), so libraries are great places, deserving of funding for more services.

– Rumpridden, street youth justice activist

Well, Rumpridden, there are polls out there. I never see them written in the Red Star, nor spoken about on the state media.

This one shows the Liberals are going to win. Most recent poll they report is 2009/12, which is December of last year. Once you get past all the screaming red Liberal Victory, and your eyes rest a bit, you notice it is a not too frequently updated site. It does have a CBC news feed, though.

This one is more recent. I just googled the names of the firms that actually do the opinion polls. It is more recent. It looks like the far right white wing extremists have a lead, with only 42 percent. If you speak out of the left side of your mouth, that means that 58 percent of the electorate have voted against the fascists; still, it looks like the clear cutting builders of lead smelters are in the lead. Gosh. This is frightening.

I am filled with fear. This provincial election is important. How can funding be increased if they are going to cut it? My no talent relatives and sex slave partners are in danger of having their jobs questioned, let alone non existent work habits threatened with work loads. How can the agenda of the Frankfurt School be advanced without subversive Marxists embedded like tapeworms in the socialist social services sector? Duh? So, the social justice movement must be doing something to stop the relentless march of fascist jackboots in the province of Ontario.

Salvation is here, comrades. To put the boots to the provincial fascists, the ability challenged left is putting its resources into fighting cuts at Toronto City Hall. Sure, the Mayor was elected some time ago, and this has nothing to do with the province, and will only appeal to those dedicated Cong cadre who are not going to vote fascist anyway. But, somehow, it will help. The something is somehow useful, somewhere where leftist logic works.

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this. I care.

If you don’t like the Iranian system, go back to Iran

Monday, June 15th, 2009

real_campaigner 

I only do these obviously inflammatory titles just for the Diggs, by the way.

There was a small blurb on the national wire about the protests not only being held here but in cities all over Canada over the recent Iranian elections held last Friday:

In Vancouver, a few hundred people rallied outside the city’s convention centre in a protest that, at times, turned ugly.

Supporters of Mousavi clashed with those calling for an end to Islamic rule in Iran. Protestors on both sides exchanged heated words and tore at Iranian flags.

I wish I could rely on the two newspapers here to cover the story but the Anime Expo and the naked bike ride seemed like real news to them.

You will note that the protest on Sunday in front of the United Nations got about a hundred protesters, which should tell you something about the effectiveness of the UN. I think it’s very telling that those who wanted the “reformer” candidate would fight with those who wanted an end to the Islamic regime in Iran. These two factions are both craving the same thing–a democratic Iran, free of a theological bent.

This is going on in elections around the world, as Christopher Hitchens points out in his article this week. The Islamic Revolution of 1979 was undoubtedly an unmitigated disaster, and is sparking a new hope for a saner and more peaceful Middle East.

What I take umbrage with in my own city is that they think these protests are the appropriate place to be doing this. You get the right to peaceablyassemble being citizens, and even if you’re not, but leave the squabbling tactics back in the old country. Our police are very trigger-happy with Tasers and foreigners as it is, thanks. But it also bears out that the real beef you haev is with Iran and not Canada. Canada was not responsible for the installation of a wild mullah system that is belligerent and seeking weapons of mass destruction.

We are also not in a position to radically change the political scheme in Iran, unless we were to invade and depose the leaders. I have a distinct feeling that you lot were the same crowd that had the “war is not the answer” signs when Iraq was invaded. (Although Iranians and Iraqis hate each other, so maybe I’m being too presumptive.) If you want to be thought of as Canadians, you had better start adapting yourselves to our ulture more, and this is not the means by which we do things.

Canada is also not some sounding-off platform for which you settle disputes in the other country. This is the same thing that happened in Toronto a couple of months ago, where the Tamils were all-too-content to disrupt the lives of average Torontonians to “raise awareness.” Political chaos should be treated like a contagion–quarantined off to the already-infected area, not spread to sanitary conditions. Our peaceful governance is not some accident. It’s a constant struggle of our greater selves to suppress our less-developed instincts. If you want to reform Iran, perhaps learning about what makes Canadian democracy work, then export that to Iran. Think of it as pilgrimage work.

It should also be of note that the peace-minded conservatives of the West have more in common with these people than they might think:

“This government, they don’t care about the vote, don’t care about the people, they just do whatever they want… This regime is a terrorist regime, this is a fake vote,” Vessali said. “We want freedom, we want democracy, we want people to take care of themselves.”

This fellow is an SUV with a gun rack shy of becoming one of us. There was someone elected recently who needs to heed these words. With his Muslim upbringing and exposure, his quick denunciations of Israel, his catastrophic economic practices, his ability to incite and fracture groups, and his ability to manipulate a corrupted and obsequious media, Barack Hussein Obama needs to realize that Iranians craved freedom from religious oppression long before he gave a speech.