Archive for the ‘Engrish’ Category

Fenris Badwulf, educator.

Friday, December 13th, 2013

The top ten LinkedIn buzzwords for 2013 are responsible, strategic, creative, effective, patient, expert, organizational, driven, innovative, and, analytical. If you are a teaching professional looking for an easy way to keep your student primates occupied for, oh, two classroom hours, here is a great make busy lesson plan you can copy and claim as your own to impress your fece brain’d employment equity hire teaching supervisor.

Have your class each construct a sentence that uses one of these words. Have the class mark each others work. Give one mark for each sentence (ten marks), and bonus marks for name (three marks), spelling (three marks), trans-gendered (two marks), and fatherless bastards (two marks). That gives a total of twenty marks. Asians are marked out of twenty-five, whites out of twenty, and victims of the lingering legacy of slavery in Africa are marked out of fifteen. Extra dumb N-people are out of ten.

The correct answers are:

1) Mayor Ford is responsible for inducing neurosis in progressives who pay attention to the CBC.

2) Mayor Ford has a strategic vision that does not include Toronto becoming a socialist shit hole like Chicago.

3) The main stream media is creative in bullying Mayor Ford.

4) Government is effective at nothing.

5) Mayor Ford is patient in his relations with media perverts who lurk around in public parks.

6) Red Star journalists are expert at nothing.

7) The organizational double speak that is spewing out from the media is cover for increased taxes.

8. The socialists are driven by their irrational hatred for Mayor Ford.

9) Saul Alinsky was innovative in developing methods to destroy civilization.

10) An analytical person would send progressives to the guillotine.

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this. I care. I care because I am responsible, strategic, creative, effective, patient, expert, organizational, driven, innovative, and, analytical

Ladies & Gentlemen – The Union Jack

Monday, November 19th, 2012

By law in Canada, The Royal Union Flag.

Although, many Canadians refer to it as the Union Jack. Most refer to it as the British Flag. The Mayor refers to it as St Patrick’s Cross.

The Mayor isn’t sure how you refer to it. You probably call it “that flag with all the lines.”

Engrish Week

Wednesday, June 3rd, 2009

engrish

Why the Chinese don’t run these phrases past an English person before they make up these sings is beyond me. Unless they actually do run these phrases by English people first and it turns out the English person is either illiterate or messing with the Chinese Person. “Nice Eat You? Yes, it makes perfect sense, go with it!”

Engrish Week

Tuesday, June 2nd, 2009

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Welcome for coming, and goodbye for leaving, that’s what The Mayor always says. Mind you, that’s what The Mayor always says right before he throws up a few litres of bottom-shelf cooking sherry. Yup, that stuff will rot yer gut and make you speak in foreign languages.

Welcome for coming!

Engrish Week

Monday, June 1st, 2009

doubtful-things

Thanks to Kate, Engrish week has begun. Kate was good enough to send The Mayor a bunch of great Engrish, ahhhhh, things, and now I put them on site. That last sentence was much funnier when I was playing it in my head.

Speaking of funny things in my head, I had this scenario rattling around in my skull of something that could possibly happen to Kate one day if she gets a real belligerent patient:

Kate: How are you feeling Mr Jones?

Jones: How the hell do you think I feel, I’m sick I tells ya, sick!

Kate: Can I get a fluffy pillow and put in behind your head for you, or maybe in front of your face and press it into your nose and throat until all the life is sucked out of your corrupt lungs?

Jones: What!!!???

Kate: I asked if you would like a Sprite.

That was a play on an old gag, but I felt as if I added a little sumpin’ sumpin’ to it.

Hey–let’s come up with scenarios this week of things that could possibly happen to Kate. For the person that comes up with the best weird/bizarre/freaky scenario, I’ll send them an autographed picture of me in a pair of Speedos while I lounged around on a beach chair in Mesopotamia three summers ago.

Welcome to Engrish week, poopy pants!