Archive for the ‘Europe’ Category

You Call That Cold?

Saturday, February 11th, 2012

Looks PhotoShopped, doesn’t it?

While we here in Mitchieville are enjoying one of the warmest winters on record, Europe is still under extreme cold conditions, with temperatures dropping to -36 Celsius. Hundreds of deaths have been reported, and thousands are still without power. When The Mayor heard that news last night, it made him pause for a brief second, right before he threw a giant log on the raging fire. It made The Mayor think how lucky we are here in Mitchieville, how sweet the cocoa TLDG made him, how he’s probably going to have to go upstairs again and turn down the thermostat, and at some point tomorrow he’s going to have to change into pants.

So, you see, we all have our problems. Some are complex like what The Mayor described about his personal situation, while other problems are relatively straight forward, like the chilly spell they’re experiencing in Europia. That’s what we in the blogging business refer to as “life”.

Swiss National Bank Chairman Philipp Hildebrand Resigns – Says He’s Not A Liar Or Thief – Is Lying…And Probably Thieving

Monday, January 9th, 2012

Swiss National Bank Chairman Philipp Hildebrand – seen here explaining how small his lies actually are – resigned today amid allegations that he and his wife made a fortune through insider trading…among other seemingly non-crimes that need not be investigated further: 

Hildebrand’s wife Kashya, a former hedge fund trader who now runs a Zurich art gallery, bought 400,000 Swiss francs ($418,000) worth of dollars on August 15, three weeks before her husband oversaw steps to cap the rise of the safe-haven franc. She later sold the dollars at a higher rate.

At a news conference four days ago, Hildebrand had resisted calls to step down, saying he only learned of his wife’s trade the day after she made it and rejecting claims that he had personally authorized the currency deal.

But he told reporters on Monday he could not provide final evidence that he had been unaware of the trade and had decided to step down as he realized the intense public scrutiny over the affair was compromising his credibility.

What credibility?

In a marriage it’s nearly impossible to make the smallest purchase without your better half knowing about it. Even if your wife buys a copy of News of the World, the chances are in a few days you’ll know about it. This Hilderbrand character wants us to believe his wife went behind his back and bought a HALF MILLION dollars of Francs – days before he announced he’ll cap the rise of them – and then sold them for a huge profit. All without him knowing about it. And now he’s biznitchin’ and throwing a hissy fit because nobodies buying into his bullshit.

Cry me a river, Euroscum.

Hilderbrand should be hanging from a tree, along with his wife. Everything he and his wife have done in the last 20 years should be investigated. What Hilderbrand and his wife did is typical of how elitist dirtbags operate. Insider trading? How could I possibly know, it’s only my money involved? YOU have the problem, imagine, not believing me, I’m a banker for Gawd’s sake!

Hang ‘em high and then burn down the tree.


Friday, November 4th, 2011

For the sake of the European Union, and the world economy, we can only hope Angie ignores every single piece of advice he gives her.

The Pork & Cheese Want US Help In Euro Crisis

Monday, October 31st, 2011

Portuguese PM has asked Mexico to relay a message to the rest of the G20 world leaders: send us your dinero:

Portugal asked Mexico on Saturday to tell fellow G20 members next week that the United States should offer “financial help” to resolve the euro zone sovereign debt crisis, describing it as a “systemic and global” problem, a Portuguese government source said.

In other words, Portugal would like other insolvent countries to bail out their insolvent ass. That’s really what is happening in Europia right now: broke countries and organizations (IMF, etc) are leveraging money they don’t actually have and bailing out insolvent countries. The blind leading the blind, or, the broke lending to the broke.

If the Pork & cheese PM was serious, he would do what other Europia leaders are doing, as well as the greatest Europian financial minds on the continent: line up and start kissing Chinese ass. The Mayor is sure there is still an small piece of yellow buttocks that has not been smooched yet.

A New Symbol For Europe

Saturday, May 15th, 2010

Designers from around the world were asked to come up with a new European symbol to reflect Europe’s changing diversity, culture and identity. Out of the over 1400 submitted designs, The Mayor presents to you three of them. First though, let’s hear more about the idea behind changing Europe’s flag:

The current European flag, with the twelve golden stars against a blue background, was designed in 1955. Since then society in Europe has changed dramatically. Nowadays various cultures live and work together in a relative small area. What is the impact of this new, dynamic society with its diversity in culture, language and traditions on Europe’s identity? How do Europeans experience Europe? And how can that identity take shape?

Designers from across the world have been invited to consider these questions and to submit their ideas for a new symbol for Europe. More than 1,400 designs from 63 countries were received. An international jury selected twelve. These new symbols will adorn the flagpoles at the Hofvijver for a week.

The exhibition will be accompanied by a debate, featuring representatives of the European Commission and designers discussing Europe’s identity.

The idea of incorporating a part of the old world into the flag/symbol wasn’t discussed, of course. Old traditions and culture mean nothing, they are worthless and belong in the dustbin of history. Feel good fuzzy wuzzy ideas are the new pink, and having your flag resemble Sargon’s mapping of Taurus transiting Pluto is apparently more important than having anything meaningful splashed onto a swath of cloth. Surprisingly, not one submission contained pure white paint on a white background.

This submission from Sweden is explained by its designer thusly: ‘This is just a simple visualization of all the different colors from the European flags. I wanted to make a fun and colorful spectrum, symbolizing the spectrum of countries and colors.’

Groovy man. This is one of the last things Jimmy Hendrix saw after he stuck a blotter of acid in his eye. Keep in mind, this is one of the submissions that won. The others weren’t as good as this.

The “diversity fingerprint”, submitted by a Greek. In a way this one makes sense for Greece, considering how many of these have been processed in the last month amid all the rioting from the folks that refuse to understand that you actually have to work for a living, and there’s actually more to life than sitting around your welfare digs, chomping on uncooked lamb smothered in tziziki sauce, while some fat, hairy sloth feeds you sambuca shots.

None of these flags are representative of Europe, of course. Then again, Europe isn’t even real. It’s coming apart at the seams and will be drawing its last breath very soon. Debt, socialism, high unemployment, ridiculous entitlements, unchecked illegal immigration. If you wanted to get a true representation of Europe, you would have to incorporate that into the flag. I’m just not sure how. Perhaps if someone vomited and cleaned it up with a bloody, soiled rag, that would do it.

What Doesn’t Belong Week

Sunday, November 15th, 2009


Since I didn’t start What Doesn’t Belong? Week until Tuesday, I figure I owe the good citizens of Mitchieville one last picture. Surprisingly, this one last picture looks like the rest of the pictures I posted this week. But it’s not the same. It is not the same at all. It’s not even close. A world of difference.

The first thing I noticed about this picture was the chick on the far right who’s digging her bony elbow into the hunchback brunette in the second row, well, the bony elbow girl is wearing a Canadian Tuxedo™ – jean pants and jean jacket, and most likely a shirt purchased from Levis Strauss. It’s just an observation, and another chance to use the phrase *Canadian Tuxedo*. It has nothing to do with the thread of this post.

Usually when you see a picture of a gaggle of girls, there are at least a few pretty ones in said gaggle. Not in this picture. These kids must be on some sort of retreat. If I had to guess, I’d say they’re at Camp Couchaminga, celebrating that they are all survivors of fetal alcohol syndrome. The retreat gives them a chance to talk to councillors, and other kids who survived being born to a mother with a drinkie drinkie problem. Well The Mayor thinks that’s just super. You go girls. Just because momma was a slug doesn’t mean you have to be a slug. Sure, you’ll never be as happy or popular as the pretty girls, but you have something they never will - a built in excuse for future failure. And that’s got to be worth something.

I do believe this post was in poor taste and will no doubt cost Mitchieville over 6% of its regular readers.

Oh, right, What Doesn’t Belong?

Volcano worshippers in suits

Wednesday, September 9th, 2009


Greetings to all you selfish breeders. Apparently the London School of Economics have decided that people are bad for business:

Every £4 spent on family planning over the next four decades would reduce global CO2 emissions by more than a ton, whereas a minimum of £19 would have to be spent on low-carbon technologies to achieve the same result, the research says.

The report, Fewer Emitter, Lower Emissions, Less Cost, concludes that family planning should be seen as one of the primary methods of emissions reduction. The UN estimates that 40 per cent of all pregnancies worldwide are unintended.

Remember when economics meant making people wealthier? These guys circumvented the rules and just decided to boost wealth by knocking off a lot of people. They aren’t an indicator of human progress as far as I can see. You have to love a bunch of Europeans (yes, this means you, England, and don’t deny your geography), still dictating who gets to live on their precious little planet.

The article refers to the Optimum Population Trust, which “campaigns for stabilisation and gradual population decrease globally and in the UK.” These guys alome make me wish the UK was not part of this planet, which seems to be their perception. (I would suggest the Telegraph help you with their editing but they can’t seem to tell the difference between a million and a billion.) Their patrons include “The Population Bomb” writer Paul Ehrlich, Jane Goodall, James Lovelock, snooze-fest TV host David Attenborough, and a bunch of other people the world would be better off without.

They want to see what they call a sustainable rate of decrease at 0.25% per year, as well as balance out immigration to emigraation. Why stop there? Close the borders altogether and you’re stopping growth in its tracks. Also, the modern British woman is having 1.66 babies (according to the CIA world factbook). So, you’re there! Congratulations, OPT.

Since we covered the UK, now we can focus on the real world. Any time you get a bunch of population controllers together, you can bet the pigmentally-enhanced are next on the block. Why else would they be talking about access to proper birth control? Anyone can wander into Boots in downtown London and get some Femdoms. Not so easy for Trang in Ho Chi Minh City. So we have to decide who is “overpopulated” based on a larger scheme of geography.

Is savage Africa overpopulated and the nice little recycloids of Eurpoe not? Well, let’s look to Wikipedia:

Europe: population of 731,000,000, area of 10,180,000 sq. km., or 71.8 people/sq. km.
Africa: population of 922,011,000, area of 30,221,532 sq. km., or 30.5 people/sq. km.

Now I’m sure that there might be more sensitive savannahs in Africa or the amount of desert area is much more sensitive to change. But why is Europe allowed to tell certain populations who is overpopulated? Even densely populated Asia, with nearly four billion people in the world, has a population density of 88.5 people/sq. km. The density in the United Kingdom? 250.9 people/sq. km.! Even places like India still dwarf that with a population of 354.7 people/, but look which colonizing country corrupted the harmonious nature of the Indians with quinine and penicillin.

So you have to hand it to a group that can’t get proper population control underway in their own country, and yet are ready to sacrifice lives to “family planning” (i.e. abortion) in the name of not angering the planet. These people are not sages predicting the future, but are primitive tribal chieftains casting virgins into the volcano to appease Mother Gaia. Halting energy solutions to depopulate the Earth just because it’s cheaper? Without even any proper resources expressing any evidence of global warming, they want to drain the population of the whole world as a “safe bet.”

In a world of weather extremes, where land is being lost due to rising temperatures, desertification, floods and rising sea levels, the world will not be able to feed, water and sustain even its current 6.8 billion population.

This would be more terrifying if Paul Ehrlich hadn’t been saying it since 1968, where he proposed “sterilants” in the water supply to curb the population. That’s right–poison the water supplies around the world to stop population growth. Aren’t Africans threatened with enough dictators as it is?

I’m predicting that the future of the world is in an enterprising, bright African child’s mind. London’s School of Eugenic Volcano-Worship is the real population problem.

Every cloud has an acidic lining

Thursday, August 20th, 2009


Tragedy befalls Copenhagen, Denmark, as a weakened world economy causes a massive cancellation of hotel rooms:

The Foreign Ministry has cancelled 20,000 overnight hotel reservations meant for people attending the United Nations Climate Change Conference in December.

The move is expected to cost the hotel industry about 40 million kroner in lost revenue, calculated by each night in a hotel room costing about 2,000 kroner, reports

Wait, why is this bad news? You’ll be saving the environment with this loss of hotel work!

Okay, picture 10,000 of the 12,000 people who were attending would be from other countries, and the average flight for each is rougly 3,000 km. We’ll pretend they are all flying on the super-efficient Airbus A380, which carries 525 passengers in their newer versions. According to this Global security article, the A380 produces 75g of CO2 per passenger per kilometre. All of these multiplied together gives us 2,250,000,000g, and if you double it for the trip back, assuming they don’t stay in the Hotel California of Copenhagen and can never leave, that makes 4,500,000,000g. That’s 4,500 tonnes of CO2 now wiped out. Færdig! Død! (That’s Danish for kaput.) That’s not even counting the spending on taxis or shopping at local stores.

By bungling the organization of this climate change event, they might have lessened the economic activity that generates emissions. Bear in mind that if the climate experts can overestimate greatly the turnout for one of their climate change events, they might be prone to overestimating the environmental impact of CO2 as well.

Let the fur fly!

Thursday, May 7th, 2009


My time growing up in the Maritimes gave me a well-honed bloodlust which would later prepare me for my life as a conservative. Come to think of it, isn’t political diversity just as important as ecological diversity? Conservatives are a threatened species these days!


Friday Night Female Flesh Goes Cowgirl

Friday, June 6th, 2008

Logan suggested a Cowboy\Cowgirl theme for this week.  I say while the hell not after all, we all love riding bareback don’t we? It’s a hot humid day here in Mitchieville Township and I want to spend it outside, so less talk, more Flesh:

Unlike Logan and his Manflesh post below when I think of Brokeback I like to think two of two friends messing around in the mountains who look like this:










The cowgirls in the pink hats GOT ARRESTED for having imitation guns in a public place.  Just further proof that England has gone to shit and that Limey men are gay. Feel free to add your own strip search\body cavity search joke in the comments section, perverts.

I found the young cowgirls below with their pictures titled "sdacowgirls".   It’s about time Kate livened things up over at SDA! I had no idea she was a fan of FNFF\FNMF.












Have a safe weekend everyone and tell everyone you see about Mitchieville (even the gay limey ones).

Europe Sprints Down Dhimmitude Road

Thursday, February 28th, 2008

The dhimmitude continues.

Europeans, it seems, will do virtually anything if it means they can avoid the possibility of not offending Muslims.


Even Piglet’s pissed off.

The Times: Piggy banks are given the chop as bank tries to attract young Muslims by David Charter

Knorbert the piglet has been dropped as the mascot of Fortis Bank after it decided to stop giving piggy banks to children for fear of offending Muslims.

The decision has been viewed in the Netherlands as the ritual slaughter of a popular pig by political correctness. To some, it is the latest sign of uncertainty in Europe’s most tolerant country about how far it should go to accommodate the sensitivities of minorities. It comes as the country is braced for a backlash against the plans of Geert Wilders, a right-wing politician, to release a critical film about the Koran.

Pigs are considered an unclean animal by Muslims and Jews, and Knorbert was culled after seven years as the Fortis mascot. A spokesman told the Dutch media that “Knorbert does not meet the requirements that the multicultural society imposes on us”. The bank added that there had been “a number of reactions to the pig” and that a new gift and character were being developed that would be “fun for children of any persuasion”. Children who had received a Knorbert piggy bank for opening a EuroKids account will be given a junior encyclopaedia instead.

The “multicultural society” never meant that you abandon all rational thought and subordinate your culture to anyone elses. Nor does multiculturalism claim that one culture is superior to the other. It claims that all cultures and belief systems are equal, which is equally insane. Meanwhile, has history ever seen a civilization so bent on its own destruction as Europe?

~ Sisyphus