Gluten Badwulf is my nephew, and he lives in Erin, Ontario. He is a fine lad and is shaping up well to inherit the Broccoli Plantation that the Badwulf’s have had in that part of Ontario since the Orangemen settled the area in the 1880’s. Unlike me, though, he watches television. The Badwulf compound in Erin (located on the vast acreage of the plantation) boasts a fine chateau, and most of the rooms have a television of some sort. Flat screen now a days, and flat screen monitors are less bulky than their tube ancestors, so stuffing a screen in the various rooms; bedroom, den, kitchen, laundry, and work shop; is more likely than it was back in the days when the lying progressives of the CBC were filling the brains of taxpayers with the over boiled pasta of political correctness. Of course, nobody in the Badwulf household watches main stream TV; they watch downloads.
Archive for the ‘Favourite Characters From Old Shows’ Category
My temporary accomodations in Toronto come with free cable and a television. I have not really watched TV since I discovered the tenth floor of the Arts library at Waterloo; it must have improved since then, right?
Barry O’bama, his destiny is written in the stars.
For details, you will have to click to enlarge. Finally, the great unifier has his birth certificate out. So freshly typed looking, and with a birth time. Now the astrologer can go to work.
Cate Blanchett, her destiny is written in the stars.
For full details, you will have to click to enlarge. We do not know Cate’s birth time, so we use noon, local time. Darling Cate has her Moon in a conjunction with Saturn, but separated across a sign boundary (Aries-Taurus). Her Sun is in Taurus as well. Cate wishes she was an old man, and is frustrated when she is treated as a woman. Ergo, a feminist. Cate wants to be a medieval baron. What could be more liberating than that? Knowing this, you can see this old man trapped in a woman’s body when she appears in that Robin Hood flick, with the puffy faced Robin.
I return to my community in full measure the horse dung and spitting peasants that they force me to endure as I go about none of their business. And the best way to do that is community service, and I do mine in the for profit charity sector. I volunteer at a Suicide Distress Call-Center, of my own creation. I intervene, more efficiently, than does the clumsy, over supervised, state apparatus. And I have people of good character help me in this work. My friend Conrad helps me at the Suicide Distress Call-Center line I run as the methods seminar from intermediate fraud at the Fenris Badwulf School of Telemarketing Excellence.
In retrospect, I didn’t really figure this Favourite Character Week out properly. I went into the week with a few names in my head, thinking I could come up with the others no problem. However, thinking of the old shows I use to love, I’m at about 20 to choose from and this is the last segment. So I waded through them all and came up with The Rockford Files.
I could have easily picked a character from oodles of other shows, like The Brady Bunch, SCTV, Hogan’s Heroes, Mod Squad, Bonanza, Emergency!, Welcome Back Kotter, H.R.Pufnstuf, All In The Family, etc. But I chose The Rockford Files because of Jim Rockford, AKA James Garner.
On a side note – do a search of shows from the 70’s and see what pops up. If there was a better decade for TV, I don’t know about it. It’s funny – the 70’s was the absolute worst decade for music, yet it was the best for TV. Go figure.
Jim Rockford was no super hero. He wasn’t a ninja, a karate expert, and he couldn’t dodge a bullet, let along a punch. He was a guy that could pick a lock, impersonate a pest control guy, and sucker punch large men. And that’s what The Mayor loved about this guy. He was a regular Joe. He lived in a trailor, liked to booze it up, had an eye for the ladies, and really didn’t enjoy working. As I said, he was a regular Joe.
I liked The Rockford Files because it gave a black kid like me a chance to see what life was like in California in the mid/late 70’s. The show had a great feel for it, it never went over the edge, it was probably pretty close to how life was for many a soul in C/’;ali in the 70’s. Or I could be wrong.
Either way, I dug it. I still watch it. Without exaggeration, I have seen every episode 10-12 times.
Jim Rockford took his share of beatings, punches and kicks. He was abused, talked down to and slammed. But he was fair, mostly honest, and could roll with the best of them. You know what it was? He was cool. You can try to act cool, but in the end, you are either cool or not. Jim was. Naturally.
Jim Rockford, I’m glad he finally graced these pages.
Chico And The Man. Boy, there are some great memories associated with that show. I remember being a young boy and watching it with my brother. My brother, John, is about 10 years older than me, we didn’t do alot of things together growing up, and truth be told he wasn’t really a big part of my childhood, he just wasn’t around. But we had Chico And The Man in common. We both loved it, and I remember seeing most of the episodes with my bro.
I thought Ed Brown (The Man) was one of the funniest characters eva. He had that Archie Bunker hatred going for him, and that was/is quite endearing to The Mayor. Not that I’m a big fan of bigotry, I’m just a big fan of honesty. And The Man said what he wanted, when he wanted, and never held back. Chico (Freddie Prinze) was an awfully likable character, too. He really played his part well. On screen, these guys worked really well together, they had some fantastic chemistry. Just like father/son.
If you remember the show, you remember what happened to Freddie. Freddie was pretty messed up. I remember my brother telling me, as clear as day, during some episodes that “Freddie’s stoned!” And John would laugh and laugh, probably cause my brother was so stoned. Anyway, Freddie ended up taking a gun and blowing his head off when he was in his early 20’s. Show lasted a while longer, but jumped the shark and got cancelled soon after.
Characters from the show that come to mind are Scatman Crothers ($50 says Andy and Dmorris remember him well – another $50 says he’s Andy’s cousin twice removed – another $50 says Dmorris watched him play spoons at a seedy tavern in Manitoba in 64). George Takei – Ed’s long lost son from Japan where Ed fought. Shelly Winters, Tony Orlando (Tie a Yellow Ribbon, yo!), Rosey Grier, Jim Backus, etc, the list is freakin’ endless, I tells ya!
Anyhoo, Jack Albertson (Ed) was The Man. He sure as hell was. He was the best character and makes the list. Freddie, RIP, you came a close second, bro.
“Steve Austin, astronaut. A man barely alive. Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to build the world’s first bionic man. Steve Austin will be that man. Better than he was before. Better, stronger, faster.”
And with that opening narration, The Six Million Dollar Man was operational.
Steve Austin, played by Lee Majors, was The Six Million Dollar Man.
After former astronaut Steve Austin got into a crash in his “lifting body” craft, Austin is severely injured but is given bionic parts. The man can now run 60 mph, his eye has a 20:1 zoom lens and infrared capabilities, and he can spit over 600 ft. All this, and more, for six million bucks. Nowadays, you’d be lucky to get a rubber testicle installed for that much. Back then though, no problem, they repaired his legs, right arm and eye for the measly sum of $6 million, and still had enough cash left over to rent a few lovely ladies from Sunset Strip and take them to a bad restaurant.
The Mayor really dug The Six Million Dollar Man. I remember thinking at the time that the special effects were amazing. Looking back, I now see they weren’t so amazing as they were incredibly terrible. I’m not even sure there were any special effects. They made him run fast by speeding up the tape and made it look like he could jump high by always keeping the camera directly on him. They had the cheeseball music to go along with his special/bionic fetes, and I suppose at the time that really drove the message home that this bad bastard, Steve Austin, was the real deal.
Anyway, no use killing my good memories about a show I use to love. Hell, I could have wasted another post by putting something up about Charles in Charge, but I know I’ve done that joke to death, so sue me if I put something up about a guy worth $6 million bucks. I know what you’re saying; a good pair of glasses, a pair of Nike’s and a Sonic Earz Hearing aid and bamm, you got yourself a Steve Austin. That’s true, I suppose, but I really detest the fact that you enjoy macking on my memories so much. Haters gotta hate, et all.
Oh right, Lee Majors was once married to Farrah Fawcett, and after he got rid of that anchor, he married Playmate Karen Velez. He had a few rugrats with her and then got rid of her like a nasty ear infection and remarried some model/actress who I can’t remember the name of. Could be anyone, anything is possible with this guy.
So there you have it, Steve Austin, the Six Million Dollar Man.
Keeping with the Happy Days theme from yesterday, think to yourself how many spin-off shows came about because of Happy Days. No, I didn’t say think out loud, this is better done if you do it in your head. I’ll help you. Because of Happy Days, Laverne & Shirley took place. As did Mork & Mindy. There was even a show, albeit a short-lived one called Anson Williams, P.I. All because of Happy Days. Did you know that even Happy Days was a spin-off of the show Love, American Style?
The Mayor knows far too much Happy Days trivia, I’m a tad bit embarrassed by this.
But the show that spun-off from Happy Days that made the biggest impression on this world, the show that should have been the most successful show eva in the history of anything is/was…
The Mayor is in his early 40’s, so the shows I watched growing up as a kid were ones that were mostly in the mid to late 70’s. It was a great time for tv; the shows were mostly innocent, as in no swearing, little to no gratuitous violence and the sexual references weren’t too overt. Unlike today.
Today, there is a steady stream of smut-like shows on the tube. Sure, The Mayor likes his smut as much as the next guy, but when it comes to really entertaining kid-appropriate shows, our children have basically zilch to watch. They would be lucky to have our lame and silly shows from the 70’s.
One of The Mayor’s favourite shows growing up was Happy Days. Happy Days was the epitome of cheese. It was the omelet du fromage of cheesy shows. But I loved it. Everyone loved it. How could you not? Perhaps if you had no soul you might have hated it.
Happy Days had a great set of characters; the Fonz, Richie, Potsie, Ralph, Little Joe, Joanie, Mr C, Mr Kotter, etc.
And out of all the characters on that wonderful show, by far, the best character had to be…