Archive for the ‘Fitness’ Category

In The News…

Wednesday, January 13th, 2016

And out of a scene from Final Destination, the lady being interviewed saved herself and her child, only to have her moomoo wrap around her neck in a bizarre toaster accident, strangling our beautiful princess to death.


Bruce Lee Says

Friday, July 29th, 2011

What a fantastic lesson to be learned here: you should always ignore any major physical concerns you may have in order to achieve minor, irrelevant goals.

Bruce Lee – dead at 32 of a seizure.

Baking Bread In The Black & Decker Automatic Breadmaker 2000 With Sean Connery

Sunday, August 15th, 2010

One of my favourite breadsh in the whole world hash to be the buttermilk white bread. Mmmmm, delicious.

I alwaysh bake my bread in the Black & Decker Automatic Breadmaker 2000™, it hash never let me down, noteven onesh.

Here’sh what you’ll need to get you shtoted: Put these ingredientsh into the B & D exshactly ajj I say:

1-1/3 cupsh of buttermilk

2 tbsp. butter

1/2 tsp. baking shoda

3 tsp. shuga

1.2 tsp. shalt

3-1/3 cupsh of white flour

3 tsp. dry yeasht

Inshert baking pan shecurely into baking unit, closhe lid.

Shelect bread shetting of “white/wheat fresh milk”.

Push shtart

Let the machine do the resht.

Thatsh it folks, it doeshint get any eashier than that.

I’m Sean Connery, happy eating.

**Mitchieville takes no responsibility whatsoever for any advice/advertisement/recommendations or opinion in regard to the Black & Decker Automatic Bread Maker 2000™.

The Turducken

Tuesday, July 20th, 2010

Turducken (via John Madden) A turkey stuffed with a chicken, stuffed with a duck stuffed, with pork sausage, cornbread and stuffing.

From This is Why You’re Huge:

A turkey stuffed with a chicken, stuffed with a duck stuffed, with pork sausage, cornbread and stuffing.

I’m not big on the duck part. When I was about 20, my buddy invited me over for dinner – he went hunting that afternoon and was serving the duck he shot. There was nothing wrong with the duck, it was actually quite tasty, but he killed it with buckshot, and about my third bite in I ate some lead and it got caught in my throat. I couldn’t cough it out for the life of me, it just stayed in my throat, causing pain and not allowing me to smoke afterwards. I guess duck is now a phobia I have. As a mattera fact, whenever I see Daffy Duck on TV I want to vomit. Doesn’t anyone feel my pain?

The 30,000 Calorie Sandwich

Wednesday, June 16th, 2010

From This is Why You’re Huge:

14 pieces of Bacon, Fried Mushrooms, 18 Onion rings, 1/4 lb. Ground Beef, 2 Corndogs, 4 slices of Swiss Cheese, 4 slices of Provolone Cheese, 4 slices of Cheddar Cheese, 1/4 lb. of Sliced Ham, 1/4 lb. Sliced Turkey, 1/4 lb. of Pastrami, 1/4 pound of Sliced Roast Beef, Bratwurst, 1/4 lb. Braunschweiger, 1 lb. of Wheat Bread, 1/2 head of Lettuce, 4 oz. Feta Cheese, 6 oz. Italian Salad Dressing & Parmesan Cheese.

Why involve lettuce in the equation at all? And wheat bread? All that food should be placed inside a couple of chocolate waffles.

I doubt we’re looking at 30,000 calories here, but we are looking at hearing your arteries slam shut like a bank vault.

Ballerina’s Are So Graceful

Monday, November 16th, 2009

APTOPIX Singapore Genee International Ballet Competition

It’s nice to see that the ballet has finally started to visually reflect the changing society in which we live. Gone are the days when ballerina’s were petite, dainty, delicate little flowers, they have now been replaced by brawny, rotund, butterballish clod hoofers. And not a second too soon, if you ask The Mayor.

I can’t wait to see the new line-up of ballets at the Mitchieville Performing Arts Center and Agricultural Building this year. Ballets such as Romeo & Juliet Kill The Buffet, Midsummer’s Night Dream of Extra Cheese and a Large CokeCaramelized Swan I Ate At The Lake, and my favourite of all ballets: The Nutcracker – Cuz She Sat On My Lap.

The new reality is here, and I’m lapping it all up. Mmmmmmm, yummy.

Angry Asian Restaurant Prank Call

Friday, October 23rd, 2009

This video is not even close to safe for work. It is the anti-safe. It is dangerous in the wrong hands. If your boss hears it you’ll be fired. If your husband/wife/slave hears this you’ll probably be alright, unless they hate cussin’, then you’re up the creek without a ladder.

Once again, this is NOT safe for work.

But man o’ man, it is EXTREMELY funny.

The Fitness Chick

Sunday, January 25th, 2009

Crazy Fitness Chick – Watch more Entertainment

Some videos come along that make it near impossible for me to avert my eyes no matter what I try. This video isn’t one of them. It is, however, a video that went full throttle into the world of insanity, not bothering to even slow down at any of the stops along the way.

Enjoy the hell out of it, the internets doesn’t get much better than this.