Archive for the ‘GIFs’ Category
When The Mayor was 18 or 19, he had a friend who owned a pitbull. Nice enough dog, but stupid as the day is long. The dog was, the owner was slightly more intelligent. Anyway, one day The Mayor went to buddy’s place for lunch, and buddy came outside to grab something from his garage. As he came out of the garage, he slammed the door down – one of those 8 trillion pound garage doors, at the same time his pitbull decided to try to get into the garage. The door smashed the poor bastard on the head, and for a second The Mayor thought the dog was a goner. Wrong. The dog shook his head and looked up at his owner as if nothing happened. That shows the power of a pitbull’s head. You would be wise to remember this story, and for that matter, every story The Mayor has ever told. It just may save your life.
This GIF completely changes The Mayor’s opinion on gun control. As in, The Mayor is now for it.
This is the reason why Koko won the Best in Ass 2012.
On the bright side, that aggravating abscess tooth Brittany has been suffering with has been cleared up, courtesy of the new IGA security system. That’ll be $3.00, biznitch.
The Mayor calls this GIF, “Dog barks at every oncoming automobile.” He calls it that because that is exactly what’s happening. Unless that isn’t what is happening, then The Mayor apologizes.
Get up offa dat thaaaang, M’Bingo!
That is how the bushmen of the Kalahari rock and or roll. It’s also the original African discman®.
The Mayor was having a conversation with a femisnist the other day on the topic of sexual harrassment. The feminist droned on and on about the usual nonsense that women are treated as secondary citizens in this country, and how they are oppressed at every step. Then she started talking about how men are all “rapists in waiting.”
The Mayor heard her out, half-listened to everything she had to say, and then made a comment that is as true as any statement any humanoid has ever made in their life – “Have you ever noticed that the only broads that complain about getting sexually harrassed are ugly pigs with short hair?”
Tell The Mayor where he’s wrong and he’ll deposit $4000 into your bank account.
The Mayor calls this GIF, “Fire In My Hole.”
For obvious reasons.
Are my constituents familiar with the new dance craze that’s sweeping the nation? It’s called The Burning Man, and it’s the biggest thing since the last biggest thing that swept the nation. And The Mayor is referring to typhoid, of course.
“What’s that Timmy, your face isn’t hurting enough? How about now, Timmy, does it hurt enough now?”
The only thing that could make this better, is if he threw up and then started eating his own vomit. Oops, wrong GIF, be back later!