Archive for the ‘global warming’ Category

Antarctic Rescue Ship Stuck In Ice After Trying To Free Frozen Antartic Ship Stuck In Ice – There Must Be A Solution Out There Somewhere!!!??!

Friday, January 3rd, 2014

The Chinese *rescue ship* sent to rescue 52 global warmingists from death in the Antarctic has found itself stuck in a shit pile of global warming:

Having not moved for several days while preparing to airlift the passengers, the Chinese-owned Snow Dragon is now wedged in ice.

Snow Dragon only needs to use its hot fire dragon breath to free itself from the global warming. Unless it is fire that emits from Snow Dragon’s mouth, then in that case it will have to wait in the shit pile of global warming until spring, which by that time, all the Chinese global warmingist rescuers will be dead.

What needs to happen here is someone or something needs to get a bigger ship to help free the Chinese Snow Dragon. When that happens, the Snow Dragon can go rescue the commies on the other ship that has or hasn’t a name. If the newest ship fails to rescue our Snow Dragon hero’s, and let’s say gets struck in ice, then someone or something will have to build the biggest ship ever in the history of any world, sail it to the Antarctic and free the ship that couldn’t get the Snow Dragoner’s out, and then the Chinese can get the Russian’s out, who in turn can get the holy hell out of the Antarctic. If all that fails, we (meaning you and I) need to bomb the crap out of the Antarctic until it loosens its mighty grip on the Chinese, Russian’s, global warming idiots, and some other people who cannot be described yet. Screw the Antarctic anyway, all it has ever done was make fun of global warmingists, in a kind of ironic/kosmic way.

In Your Face, Icebergs

Tuesday, November 20th, 2012

The Mayor watched Dust Bowl last night on the teevee, and was a little disappointed when he found out it wasn’t a college bowl game, but some crap about climate change that took place in the 30’s in the southern U.S.

In case you’re wondering, the dust bowl beat the south by like 248 – 0.

In your face, red states.

Tahiti Treat

Thursday, September 9th, 2010

Taken word for word from The Mayor’s friend, Big Red Kev:

Surfers in Tahiti watch as the ocean is sucked away in a phenomenon known as “reef draining”.

It is caused by water from the south Pacific unloading on the shallow Teahupo’o coral reef – creating some of the word’s most dangerous waves.

Caused by Gorebal Warming©, no doubt. Every time you throw a wrapper on the ground, start up your car, or boil a kettle, remember: You are sucking the life out of the Teahupo coral reef.

Think of the children.

Hope and change cancelled due to snow! Yay!

Wednesday, February 10th, 2010

blowing_lincoln

Write this date down on your hands–Washington DC has been blitzed with 32 inches, with another 10 to 20 inches expected! Madonna just shrugs at that.

The snow has shut in nearly 230,000 federal employees, which takes care of almost all of anyone working in the city. They are forecasting that the budget of $6.2 million for snow removal has been blown through already. (At last–an exhausted budget that they can justify.) But oh, they also have the nerve to marry the terms “productivity” and “federal government“:

Today’s federal government closure costs federal taxpayers an estimated $100 million in lost productivity, according to Office of Personnel Management chief John Berry. This is the first government shutdown of 2010 and the second for this administration.

By the way, if you have lost faith in your fellow conservatives, go to the comments sections and see that they have launched a blizzard of their own. No ABC-viewing liberals want to chime in and offer to help out in the lost productivity? By God, they are creative writers, too–that Obama inherited the climate from a previous administration, that this is one “shovel-ready” job, etc. We always get no credit for being news consumers.

On the heels of the “see I told you snow” attitude, apparently now there is a state of budgetary emergency, as this snowstorm is costing Americans hundreds of millions a day:

Office of Personnel Management chief John Berry, who decides when to close the federal government, has said each snow day costs taxpayers an estimated $100 million in work government employees don’t do.

Why can’t they just subcontract this job out to India, too? Am I to understand that people cannot work from home for one day? Aren’t a lot of these people just computer terminal monkeys? Just how prepared are they in any emergency situation if their employees are rendered impotent by something like the weather?

If this is such an emergency budgetary crisis, just tell the people that they are burning through their vacation time if they sit home and do nothing. I guarantee that they will bust their humps to get to the office. I have never in all my time working in the private sector had a “snow day” off. DC has a fine subway system and other mass transit, but those were shut down as well. Is there a justification for shutting down the trains? I know the buses makes sense since there can be icy condition on roads, but are the trains in jeopardy?

Bear in mind that all of the Metro Transit Authority workers in DC are partly federally funded (as well as by neighbouring Maryland and Virginia). They also got a huge payday from the “stimulus” that gave them $202 million. Couldn’t a portion of that money been devoted to snow removal instead? Oh well. It’s basically a flake in the blizzard.

No one is doing this tally for how much economic impact the Vancouver Winter Olympics are going to have on commutes to work into the downtown, and that will last longer than any old blizzard. I think maybe we should have a tourist plow run up along Robson, chucking Swedes and Japanese to and fro.

This is suddenly tongue-clicking at budget problems that should never exist. 2011 looks to be projecting a budget deficit of $1.6 trillion. This “slowdown” per day will be 0.00625% of just that deficit spending. Even the argument that leaving them home forever would not have any significant change in their spending. (If they saved all that money by firing every single federal worker in Washington, that would make a difference of merely 2% of all excess spending.)

If the US federal bureaucracy is so paralyzed by the weather, move the capital somewhere else. Even Las Vegas and Florida have been hit recently by snow. There’s nowhere to run from this snow…except here at the home of the Winter Olympics, and even then we can’t get to work! If there’s no back-up plan for something as predictable as the weather, imagine the chaos Washington is in when there are real crises going on around the world.

Canada’s Growing Polar Bear Population ‘Becoming A Problem,’

Friday, January 15th, 2010

polar-bear

Even though the Polar Bear Specialist Group claims that warmer temperatures and shrinking ice floe in the Arctic has significantly reduced the polar bear population, a U.S. Senate and Public Works Committee report says otherwise:

The “alarm about the future of polar bear decline is based on speculative computer model predictions many decades in the future. Those predictions are being “challenged by scientists and forecasting experts,” said the report.

But those predictings of dwindling polar bear populations haven’t stopped the US Geological Society from proclaiming that future sea ice conditions…

“will result in the loss of approximately two-thirds of the world’s current polar bear population by the mid 21st century.”

Oh rly? Tell that to an Inuit:

Harry Flaherty, chair of the Nunavut Wildlife Management Board in the capital of Iqaluit, says the polar bear population in the region, along the Davis Strait, has doubled during the past 10 years. He questions the official figures, which are based to a large extent on helicopter surveys.

“Scientists do a quick study one to two weeks in a helicopter, and don’t see all the polar bears. We’re getting totally different stories [about the bear numbers] on a daily basis from hunters and harvesters on the ground,” he says.

Dr. Mitchell Taylor, a biologist who has been researching polar bear populations in Canada’s Nunavut Territory for 35 years, seems to agree. “The study estimates from the Iqaluit area agree with those of local hunters, although the accuracy of the counts is doubtful in some areas,” he says.

Gabriel Nirlungayuk, director of wildlife for Nunavut Tuungavik Inc., is another doubter who questions the accuracy of helicopter surveys. “Helicopters have many limitations, including fuel capacity. They can’t go far out into the open water,” he says. But hunters crisscrossing the area by dog team, snowmobile or boat “are seeing polar bears where scientists and helicopters are not traveling.”

Forty years ago, old-timers living in the area around Hudson Bay were lucky to see a polar bear, Nirlungayuk says. “Now there are bears living as far south as James Bay.”

Perhaps it’s time for a polar bear hunt. $1000 a head.

Computer models are wonderful and generally accurate, unless, it seems, they are measuring arctic ice-flow, global warming, or the polar bear population. Other than those three minor things, they tend to be dead on.

Meme Mline – Ode To Gorebull Warming

Wednesday, December 16th, 2009

At first they just came for the light bulbs and I did not speak out.
Because these days, I like to hide out in the darkness of my nice warm basement.

Then they came for the plastic bags and I did not speak out.
Because I was already using the replacement bag they had issued to me as per the minimum consumption laws made of 100% Polyester (imitation weave no less).

Then they came with this giant, tandem diesel powered monster of a truck to pickup and compost my “bagged” leaves and I did not speak out because I didn’t have any bags.
So they issued me their new paper bags with 100% of the 30% portion being recycled paper, or a 70% loss in real trees.

Then they came for my oil and I did not speak out.
Because they had already confiscated my Smartcar and recycled it into a wheelbarrow that they forced me to use every Earth Day to help them discover new sites to plant more and more and more trees.

Then they came for the BBQ and I did not speak out.
Because it doesn’t matter what the F*&% you do to a vegetarian hotdog, it still tastes like $hit.

Then they came for the air conditioner and I did not speak out.
Because by this time, the inevitable cool climate trend had cycled in once again as it has for billions of eons all by it’s poor little self, for reasons we do not and may not ever understand.

Then they came to register me to vote, and I did not speak out.
So they impaled my poor little weed infested, pesticide free front lawn with one of their plastic Green Party reelection signs.

Finally they came for me and I COULD not speak out.
Because there was nothing left to give, or take.

Global Warming Watch

Tuesday, December 15th, 2009

global-warming-global-cooling

Hot, cold, warm, cool. Whatever and whenever the world is going to heat up or cool down, or even possibly stay exactly the same as it has been for the last 2000 years, one thing is for certain: NOW is the time to panic.

Global Warming – The Joke Is On Us

Friday, November 20th, 2009

global_warming

Der Spielgel Online is reporting today that climotologists throughout our doomed planet are stumped as to why global warming seems to be stalled. It’s a real mystery to the consensus crowd. What a dilly of a pickle:

Global warming appears to have stalled. Climatologists are puzzled as to why average global temperatures have stopped rising over the last 10 years. Some attribute the trend to a lack of sunspots, while others explain it through ocean currents.

The planet’s temperature curve rose sharply for almost 30 years, as global temperatures increased by an average of 0.7 degrees Celsius (1.25 degrees Fahrenheit) from the 1970s to the late 1990s. “At present, however, the warming is taking a break,” confirms meteorologist Mojib Latif of the Leibniz Institute of Marine Sciences in the northern German city of Kiel. Latif, one of Germany’s best-known climatologists, says that the temperature curve has reached a plateau. “There can be no argument about that,” he says. “We have to face that fact.”

For months, climate change skeptics have been gloating over the findings on their Internet forums. This has prompted many a climatologist to treat the temperature data in public with a sense of shame, thereby damaging their own credibility.

“It cannot be denied that this is one of the hottest issues in the scientific community,” says Jochem Marotzke, director of the Max Planck Institute for Meteorology in Hamburg. “We don’t really know why this stagnation is taking place at this point.”

Keep in mind that these are the same *experts* that claimed if world governments didn’t band together and cough up hundreds and hundreds of billions of dollars immediately to combat the global warming *crisis*, the world would disappear within a matter of a few years, or months, or as some claimed, weeks or days.

But the science is settled, we have consensus! What the devil is going on? Remember, the same *scientists* that claimed consensus on this issue now can’t figure out if the lack of global warming in the last ten years is due to sunspots, ocean currents, or lack of midnight basketball courts for marginalized, inner-city youth that are still suffering from the effects of colonialism in Africa by evil, white, heteronormative males.

And in other news:

In 2002 Responsible Travel became one of the first travel companies to offer customers the option of buying so-called carbon offsets to counter the planet-warming emissions generated by their airline flights.

But in October, Responsible Travel canceled the program, saying that while it might help travelers feel virtuous, it was not helping to reduce global emissions. In fact, company officials said, it might even encourage some people to travel or consume more.

“The carbon offset has become this magic pill, a kind of get-out-of-jail-free card,” Justin Francis, the managing director of Responsible Travel, said in an interview. “It’s seductive to the consumer who says, ‘It’s $4 and I’m carbon-neutral, so I can fly all I want.”‘

Offsets, he argues, are distracting people from making more significant behavioral changes, like flying less.

Oh, do tell?

You mean to say that the very same people that buy indulgences to prove their *green-ness* are the same people who are knowingly and willfully destroying the planet? Go figure.

So, it would be like an unelected leader of the world green movement telling everyone that they must cut back and conserve, change their lifestyle and pay more in taxes to fund environmental projects, meanwhile, the mouthpiece lives in a 20 room mansion, consumes $2400 a month in electricity alone, even “consumes more than 20 times the national average” in natural gas, owns three boats and a fleet of gas guzzling SUV’s and other cars, yet because he pays a stipend for offsets and other nonsensical solutions to a problems he made up, well, this is perfectly fine and responsible?

If you need to buy offests to assuage your guilt about what you’re doing to the environment, you’re a weak, delusional and all around stupid person. When the revolution comes you will be the first to go and I welcome that day. I live in a house with a blue box, a smaller blue box, a green box, high-efficiency stove, fridge, washer, dryer, cfl bulbs, a high efficiency air conditioner, programmable thermostat, etc, so the chances of me ever feeding the loser machine by buying offsets are somewhere between never and eff you gently with a chainsaw.

I’ve done enough and so have you. Now is the time to burn the planet alive.

The tens of thousands of politicians, bureaucrats, scientists, and environmental activists that are swarming Copenhagen this weekend don’t care about the environment one bit. If they did they would teleconference the whole thing. But they will fly to Copenhagen in private jets or Boing 747’s, hire Mercedes, eat endangered foods and exploit the local population for their every need. They are earth rapists and the enemy of mankind. They need to be stopped by whatever means necessary. They are stealing our money and exploiting the world’s poor. They are evil assholes who should be beaten with large sticks.

Put it this way – these thieves are flying to Copenhagen to talk about a non-existant problem, to find ways to steal billions of dollars to fix the non-existant problem, and will meet again in 3 months to again talk about the non-existant problem. On OUR dime.

I’m sick of these pigs. Liars, thieves and deviants the whole lot of them. And to think we’re subsidizing their perversions.

Lord Monckton’s Sisyphian task, part 3

Thursday, October 22nd, 2009

How effective has the Obama Administration been? It’s made everyone just a little more conservative, or at least reminded them that they always were. People are still in the majority in thinking that the Earth is getting warmer over the past few days (it’s not), but more are not embracing the idea that it is because of humans. I can’t wait to be told how much we “hate science” now. Why there was a drop, according to one of our loyal BC warming druids:

Andrew Weaver, a professor of climate analysis at the University of Victoria in British Columbia, said politics could be drowning out scientific awareness.

“It’s a combination of poor communication by scientists, a lousy summer in the Eastern United States, people mixing up weather and climate and a full-court press by public relations firms and lobby groups trying to instill a sense of uncertainty and confusion in the public,” he said.

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Lord Monckton’s Sisyphian task, part 2

Tuesday, October 20th, 2009

Yesterday I discussed the impact of the treaty to be voted on at the United Nations Climate Change Conference in Copenhagen, Denmark this December. I don’t know what possesses these people to host these things in the most frigid times of the year in places like Denmark, but there you are. They probably think they are seeking refuge from the central regions of the Earth, which are all now on fire.

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Lord Monckton’s Sisyphian task, part 1

Monday, October 19th, 2009

the_one_weve_been_waiting_for

Much like Camus, Lord Monckton must argue absurdity itself. Camus made the argument that all life was absurd, with the absence of God permitting a meaningless existence. Monckton faces a similar uphill battle, with him arguing that the absence of freedom is keeping us in the same superfluous task.

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Gaia Jugend

Friday, July 3rd, 2009

Spotted at Belmont Club.

I don’t know too much about this Climate Change thing that so many people have gotten into over the past decade or so. I know some folks say it is a religion of peace. Me, I’ve never had much of a religious/apocalyptic bent, so it’s just never interested me enough to look into it any deeper than I have, say, Scientology or palmistry.

But, whatever the truth or falsity of their promises of salvation: I do know that I would far, far rather the earth spirits’ wrath burn the planet to a crisp than see these people and their thoroughly fascist aesthetic succeed. Better to be slightly warmer on one’s feet than be pressed into a chanting, letter-shaped mob of anonymous, faceless Action-Takers on one’s knees.