This good boy is the Patton of dogs. And I’ve always thought smoking was cool, but now that I see the smoke hanging out of this dogs maw, I know for certain that smoking is the bees knees.

Starting immediately, I am going to start smoking, wearing a sailors hat and biting my mailman (I was going to bite my mailman anyway, but this just drives it home for me).

Thanks serious dog!

Now YOU can choose what The Mayor posts for his weekly, ah, post. Ya, post. Cast your vote on what you think The Mayor should post for his series of the week:

1) Bad Tan Week (I have some goodins)

2) Look What Went Through His Windshield Week

3) Mustachioed Woman Week

Vote early and vote often. Polls close Sunday night!

I think we can all agree when I say that sometimes it’s alright to kick a dog.

Can I get a hallelujah?

You have done wrong and serious dog knows about your inequities. He sees and hears what you have done and is not pleased. You have disturbed – not angered, but disturbed – serious dog. You would do well to make retribution to serious dog. I would suggest you start by rubbing his belly. Then perhaps take serious dog to the park and throw a ball for him. A nice big ham hock would get you back into serious dogs good book.

And remember, don’t do it again!

I hate this dog. He gave me a D- on the thesis I wrote in University entitled, “Feminist Pedagogy and Unlearning Homophobia.” Mind you, all I wrote on the paper was “Gays scare me”, so maybe Pepper was right to give me a such a crappy mark. Should have bribed him with some kibble, that was a big mistake.

I’m sorry Fido, but I really am out of Grey Poupon.

By an overwhelming majority (2-1), the constituents have voted, and it looks as if Serious Dog Week has won the day (sorry, Mare, we’ll gay the hell out of this joint next week).

Some dogs look more serious than other dogs, but you know for a fact that even the most serious dog in the universe licks his own funny spot and would lap up baby vomit if given half a chance. When I think of rotties and dobermans and dogs like that, I tend to put them in the serious dog category. I can’t picture a doberman hanging out with other dogs, having a good laugh or what not. But a dog like the one in the picture, he looks like he would enjoy nothing more in this world than to hang out with his buddies, sipping whiskey, playing the spoons and making off-colour remarks about the smell of the neighborhood tramps ass.

Man, I feel as if i really nailed this post. I should be given an award of some sort.

Welcome to Serious Dog Week. A week of serious dogs. Kinda like what the title refers to.

He’s going to get ‘em some kibbles and bits, kibbles and bits, kibbles and bits.

Maybe Fido’s looking to find where he buried his bone. Or maybe Fido’s looking to find where buddy buried his. Either way, I had steak tonight and it was delicious. Yup, that last sentence had nothing to do with this post. And neither did the last sentence, or for that matter, this one.

I found this picture lurking about in my extensive and useless picture file, and I thought it matched up rather nicely with Raph’s post (Women’s lib – two down from this one).

I’m not exactly sure, and I haven’t worked out the haha’s yet, but I’m positive there’s a connection somewhere.

I’d love to sell you a pack of camels, but I’m afraid I’ll have to see some I.D. It says here you’re 8. Yup, that’s fine, that makes you 64 in dog years.

TLDG and Clare have gone up to Ottawa for the weekend to visit family (hers obviously), so The Mayor is all by himself this weekend, taking care of The Manor and basically pounding back the rye and gingers. So, if you’re around Mitchieville (the site, not my actual residence), I’ll be here hangin’ out, by myself. Yup, I’m not bored. It’s just me and my rye. Just me. All by my lonesome. Hanging out. Hangin’ and bangin’. Whistling. Typing. Me. Nobody but me.

For the love of god, say something!

**By the by, is the pooches name Cody or Andy? Just sayin’.

Mitchieville’s Minister of Agriculture asked The Mayor (in a most polite way) to extend Get That Dog Outta Here Week, as Paul said he enjoyed this segment more than anything he has ever enjoyed in his life. Sure, he didn’t exactly put it in those words, but I’ve known Paul for quite a while now, and I’m sure as shit that’s what he meant.

And The Mayor also got a chuckle out of Dmorris’ comment the other day when I posted the first dogs-humpin’ picture:

Whenever you attend an outdoor function with your young kids, two dogs will always do the act. Whether it’s just opportunism or exhibitionism I’don’t know, but you’re left trying to explain what they’re doing, to your toddler.

Noel Coward’s classic explanation, quoted in David Niven’s book,”The Moon’s a Balloon” can’t be surpassed.

Dmorris never fails to impress The Mayor. The guy is a national treasure and we’re lucky to have him in Mitchieville. You would do well to send him $5 through The Mayor’s PayPal account. Dontcha worry, I’ll make sure he gets every dime.

I have a good feeling that the pooch in the picture caught that Frisbee. I don’t know why I feel that way, let’s just chalk it up to a gut feeling and leave it at that.

Speaking of gut feelings, Andy from Redneck Ramblings sent me this Gif that has had me chuckling all evening. I shouldn’t be laughing at it, but I’m in a giggly mood because of the massive amount of crazy sex TLDG thrust upon me about two and a half hours ago. Whoaaaaa, a spatula? Sure, why the hell not!

And how is that *speaking of gut feelings?* Sorry, but you’ll have to dig deep inside your soul to answer that question.

**This post was completely disjointed, but you will not find an apology forthcoming.

This concludes Get That Dog Outta Here Week

If it wasn’t for the good boy putting out the small fire that was burning inside the picnic basket of Ridge and Bibi Henderson, their entire day would have been completely ruined.

Now drink up that apple juice, Ridge & Bibi, and stop complaining, it doesn’t taste salty at all.

Dogs are such wonderful and caring animals that they would do anything to alleviate the pain others animals might be suffering from. Take this tiger (please..hehe), it threw its back out – probably from stretching or other unnecessary activities – and this beautiful pooch is trying to snap it back into place.

Here’s to you, little fella. Thanks for caring!