Archive for the ‘Granny Gotta Party’ Category

Granny Gotta Party Week

Thursday, May 20th, 2010

Freakin’ lightweight.

I wasn’t sure whether to post this picture or not, as I didn’t immediately know whether this woman was a granny or middle aged. Then I looked at the design/fabric of the chair and couch she’s passed out over and it became blatantly obvious that yes, she HAS to be a granny. As a matter of fact, I’m pretty sure my grandpa has a suit of that exact same fabric. On second blush, that may actually be my grandpa in the picture. What? It’s a woman? Hey, don’t judge my grandpa lest you be judged. Aaaaaashole.

Granny Gotta Party Week

Wednesday, May 19th, 2010

Ole blue hair aint 100 years old, a 100 is the amount of braincells ole blue hair has left in her blue head after a lifetime of smoking, drinking, drugs, carousing, and acting as the town hump-pinata. And what town was/is she from? The town of New York. Ya, you can imagine what her woo-woo looks like after being the hump pinata from a town that big (in case you don’t know how big the town of New York is, it’s VERY big!)

Granny Gotta Party Week

Tuesday, May 18th, 2010

The truly sad part of this picture is that it’s not too far off the reality that plays out at ripper bars across Ontario every day. Scary midgets and old women named Maude. The memories are flooding back. Especially the ones that involved that scary midget.

Granny Gotta Party Week

Monday, May 17th, 2010

The Mayor imagines this granny would have about a million keraaaazy stories to tell, but The Mayor also knows that there is not a chance in hell he could put up with listening to her gravelly, grainy, sandy voice long enough to hear any of them out. Old people like Ma Kettle here seem like they would be a lot of fun to be around at a party, but trust me, I’ve been around a few of these Kettle types and their gag dries up quickly. After about 8 seconds of listening to their nonsense, you start looking around the room for objects that you can use to saw your own head off.

But this is hardly about one old malcontent with a bong. Oh no, this is about a whole week’s worth of old malcontents. With bongs. Or without bongs.

Welcome to Granny Gotta Party Week.