Archive for the ‘guns and butter’ Category

Gun Control + No Control

Wednesday, February 12th, 2014

Dwayne Feguson, arrested for bringing a gun to Harvey Austin School, is a well-known community activist.

As coincidence would have it, just last night little Clare asked Daddy Mayor what the definition of *hypocrite* is. Daddy Mayor handed her this article and told her to get readin’:

Dwayne Ferguson spent more than a decade advocating for nonviolence and peace in the streets of Buffalo.

He was a well-known face in the movement for the SAFE Act, the state law that made carrying a gun on school property a felony. He was also a familiar presence in the hallways of the city’s Harvey Austin Elementary School, where he worked in the after-school program and mentored students.

No one imagined that on Thursday he would show up at the school in possession of a gun, touching off an hours-long lockdown, search and ultimately his arrest on two felony charges.

Ferguson, 52, told WGRZ-TV that he frequently carries the gun, for which he has a permit, and did not realize he had it on him when he went to the school as part of the mentoring program.

He was among local activists who stood with Assemblywoman Crystal Peoples-Stokes last year lobbying for a law that would make possessing a gun on school property a felony.

When The Mayor heads out to City Hall in the morning, it’s not uncommon for him to forget, or even to bring things with him he didn’t mean to. Just the other day, The Mayor left The Manor and had TLDG’s car keys in his pocket. One time The Mayor mistakenly brought along little Clare’s knapsack on his journey. Sometime’s The Mayor forgets his lunch, or takes TLDG’s lunch. However, there are some things The Mayor has never forgotten he has on his person. His pants, for instance. The Mayor never forgets to put on his pants. Socks and shoes. The Mayor always wears socks and shoes to work. Automatic weapons. That’s another thing The Mayor is aware of as he travels down the road. You see, automatic weapons are heavy and bulky, and take up quite a bit of room in The Mayor’s pocket, unlike, say, a pack of gum, or a gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond.

The Mayor is sure that this fine, upstanding pillar of the community, who fights on a daily basis for gun control, who tirelessly works to have guns stripped from law-abiding citizens like you and I (but not him), will be treated as honestly as fairly as any member of the NRA, or the Tea Party would be had they been caught in the same situation with a loaded handgun at a gun-free school.

After little Clare read the article, The Mayor asked her if she now knows the meaning of *hypocrisy*, to which she replied, “No daddy, I don’t. After all, I’m only five years old and can’t really read. However, from what I could understand, liberals sure are stupid assholes.”

That little Clare, she’s going to make a great Prime Minister one day.

Progression Of The U.S Army Fatigues

Tuesday, January 15th, 2013

There have definitely been some cool designs worn by Army, but the most recent ACU (Army Combat Uniform, for you pedestrian maggots) is by far the best, at least in The Mayor’s opinion. Mind you, an accompanying chartreuse bandanna would really help to accessorize the whole outfit and make the Army simply fabulous!

We’ve Seen It Before

Monday, January 7th, 2013

To be fair, gun control worked wonders in Stalin’s Russia, Mao’s China, Pol Pot’s Cambodia, and Hitler’s Germany. Not to mention Rahm’s Chicago, etc.

Good For Thee But Not For Me – The Journal *News* Arms Up

Wednesday, January 2nd, 2013

Remember a few week’s ago when that liberal rag, The Journal *News*, published an interactive map of pistol permit holders names and addresses in Rockland and Westchester counties? Well, the *News* was so *alarmed* by the negative response that they hired armed security guards:

A Clarkstown police report issued on December 28, 2012, confirmed that The Journal News has hired armed security guards from New City-based RGA Investigations and that they are manning the newspaper’s Rockland County headquarters at 1 Crosfield Ave., West Nyack, through at least tomorrow, Wednesday, January 2, 2013.
According to police reports on public record, Journal News Rockland Editor Caryn A. McBride was alarmed by the volume of “negative correspondence,” namely an avalanche of phone calls and emails to the Journal News office, following the newspaper’s publishing of a map of all pistol permit holders in Rockland and Westchester.
Due to apparent safety concerns, the newspaper then decided to hire RGA Investigations to provide armed personnel to man the location.
Private investigator Richard Ayoob is the administrator of RGA. He told the Clarkstown Police on Friday, December 28 that there had been no problems on site at the Journal News headquarters despite the massive influx of phone calls and emails.

Keep in mind that Editor Caryn McBride didn’t actually receive any threats, and that at no time was she or her staff under any danger. Editor Caryn McBride hired armed guards (guards with guns, not just arms) not because she feared for what has happened, but what could possibly, maybe, a slight chance, one-in-a-million, ya never the hell know what could happen. Sort of like a homeowner having a gun not because he knows there’s going to be a break in and a wife-raping, but because there’s a chance that MIGHT happen.

However, had McBride and the powers-that-be been smarter, they would have just erected a big sign saying “Gun Free Zone” above the doorway at the entrance of the *News*. That kind of liberal progressiveness has solved the problem of weapons offenses at every mall, school, and gun-free city across the entire United States.


Dmorris On His Way Back From Vacation

Thursday, February 10th, 2011

And where did Don go on vacation?

Santa’s Village.

The Horoscope of Fenris Badwulf

Wednesday, January 12th, 2011

What better way to prove the accuracy of Astrology than to use the example of the birthday boy, Fenris Badwulf? His late mother would be proud of him; and his late father filled with happiness. His horoscope is filled with good news for the Republic, and for your estate. You can click to enlarge if you are not just cruising for one of the Mayor’s sex posts.


So long Israel, and hello Vienna! – Saved in Drafts

Thursday, December 16th, 2010

**It certainly wouldbe nice if Fenris revisited this piece and finished it. The Mayor doesn’t like posts that end with the word “and”. It leaves too much up in the air. This post is from 2.14.2010. Woulda coulda shoulda won some sort of award, and…

I have been bothered at my leisure with demands for production about the soon to be non-existance of Israel.  Yeah, sure, it is a tasty subject for satire.  It is grim and there will be quite a few war movies, great war movies of the future, to be written, scripted, story-boarded, filmed, edited, and shown.  So I will write quick, as there are only a few more paragraphs to go before I am done with you.

Today is the first Saturday after the Persians went public with the Bomb. They have the Bomb.  They have stated quite clearly the conditions under which they will use their Bomb.  This is quite Queensberry rules, and every dead Statesman you talk to on the Ouija board will tell you that what they say is true enough to take heed of, and if you heed their boundary conditions, the Bomb will not go boom.  So what?  So what does this have to do with Israel?  Those Persian atomic bombs can only hit Los Angeles, maybe San Francisco, certainly Honolulu.  Utah is safe.  So who cares?

Sure, Israel has the Bomb. They have the Bomb too.  Big Deal.  This problem is not a big problem as far as Military problems go.  Israel does not fear the Bomb.  They are more likely to fire their broadside first, and it just might happen in this wonderful decade of 2010.  But before we get to how earthquakes and atomic bombs are like each other in effect, I want to talk about the ruthless self-interest of nation states.

This is a bad thing for Israel, but not in the way you would expect. History suggests that powers that pay tribute, pay tribute for appeasement, effect, or subterfuge.

Appeasement. The defeated in war end up paying tribute.  A certain amount of the trillions invested in Israel every year has a proportion, a percentage that is simple weregild, blood money for a ’sorry we shot your Grandpa’ that comes with a rather nice greeting card.

Appeasement, but. But the great power that was enforcing this payment is under a leader of Hope and Change. He has been bowing to these other, lesser, tribute paying powers. Today, Saturday, the Final Decision Makers are listening to Opera at their weekend retreats, sipping the best, and deciding. Maybe the Israel money does not have to be paid. Not now. The Americans are choosing retreat as their policy. So weregild for Israel can stop.

Effect. Sure, your tribute money buys you some peace and contentment over close there to where the oil fields are. But lately, last few years, those shipping lines, pipelines, refineries are

Lies the Progressives told me

Saturday, September 18th, 2010

The Picture of Dorian Grey – we studied it in High School. Well, not really. We were issued the books, then proceeded to not read them. Instead, we were subjected to the history of homophobia in the Western World. Apparently, queers were not too popular in the middle ages * . That lasted one class; even though the instructor (male) was known for his hot romance with one of the French teachers (female), ugly comments, scribbles, and notes began to circulate. So, the next class, as we ignored novels, course outline, and directives from the Ministry of Education, we instead launched into the evils of Corporations. You may wonder how Oscar Wilde could inspire a leftist propaganda session on the evils of corporations; it is much like the shocking difference between the portrait of Dorian Grey, and the beautiful queer actor chosen to play him on film.


Lies the Progressives told me

Sunday, September 5th, 2010

One of my earliest memories is that of my Dad, cleaning his guns. It was downstairs, in his shop. Straight white men with jobs usually built a shop in their unfinished basements, back then. And I remember my Dad, with all that stuff you use to clean a long barrel: Pull through, clothy bits, and that scented oil. In the subdivision I lived in, everyone had a gun. It was normal, accepted, safe, and Canadian, back then. Then the progressives came from out of the universities and press rooms, full of ideas out of books, to confront reality, facts, and logic with a new set of dreams, conjectures, and the magic of socialism.


Lies the Progressives told me

Thursday, September 2nd, 2010

Ah, deception. The common trait shared by crop pests, nausea inducing bacteria, and slime molds is also manifest among our tapeworm activists. You think the act of deception that is JournoList is unique? Ha ha ha. You are funny.


US Opposes Korea’s Plan To Sell Old Rifles

Sunday, August 22nd, 2010

 A South Korean plan to sell hundreds of thousands of aging US rifles in order to boost the Korean military budget has been stopped by US officials, who cited “problems” that could be caused by the importation of said rifles:

The problems the U.S. government cited were somewhat ambiguous, said an official at the Ministry of National Defense on condition of anonymity.

“The U.S. insisted that imports of the aging rifles could cause problems such as firearm accidents. It was also worried the weapons could be smuggled to terrorists, gangs or other people with bad intentions,” the official told The Korea Times.

We certainly wouldn’t want to see these rifles fall into the hands of gangs, that’s for sure. From what The Mayor hears, gangs across the USA are ditching their bolt action rifles and are switching to semi-automatic rifles in order to “compete” with rival gangs. At this rate, all the flintlock muskets will be a thing of the past in no time at all.

A total of 86,000 M1 rifles and another 22,000 carbines were to be sold, as the weapons have been mothballed for about five decades in military warehouses. The per-unit price of the M1 rifle is about $220 and the carbine is more than $140, according to the ministry.

M1s were made first in 1926 and used in World War II and the 1954-1975 Vietnam War. The carbines were first produced in 1941 and used during the 1950-1953 Korean War.

You know what they say, “if you outlaw guns, only outlaws – in this case, Jesse James, Clyde Barrow, John Dillinger and Al Capone – will have guns”.

**Factoid – the rifles in question are owned outright by the ROK

Love, Exciting & New

Tuesday, April 6th, 2010

That’s pretty much the way I found out I was going to be quarterback for my high school football team. I was having a rectal exam, and my gym teacher (don’t ask why he was giving me a rectal exam, I’m still not comfortable talking about it) pulled a football out of my butt and said, “congratulations, Mayor, you’re our new quarterback!” So I turned to him and said, “But I really want to be a pole-vaulter, but never mind, I’m pretty much through with surprises for one day.”