From Netdoctor:

The aims of cardiopulmonary resuscitation are twofold.

1. Firstly, to artificially pump blood out of the heart and round the body – this is provided by the chest compressions (check)
2. And secondly, to artificially blow oxygen into the lungs – this is done by artificial respiration.

The blowing oxygen into the lungs hasn’t taken place yet, but if pressing on the groin to pump blood out of the heart is any indication where this CPR procedure is heading, The Mayor can’t wait to see where the young lady intends to blow to clear the guys lungs.

That is all.

Brought to you by Mitchieville’s Health and Human Services

The Mayor’s dentist didn’t recommend Viceroys but he did recommend The Mayor brush after every meal. “Screw you, you hack”, replied The Mayor.

Does he think time grows on trees? If The Mayor brushed after every meal, he’d have no time to enjoy three packs of smokes a day.

Jerk.

Mitchieville faces a financial crisis.

(more…)

**Click to enlarge image

Pretty much everything in moderation won’t kill ya, that’s old shoe, most people know that. But I suppose there are still some that aren’t familiar with the effects some things, like Coke, has on the system. That’s why we here at The Mitchieville Institute For Health, Safety and Wellness (MIfHSaW), with a small grant from the Canadian Federal Government, bring this important information to your attention.

We care. We want to inform and help you. If the government doesn’t tell you what is right and wrong for you, who will? Your parents? I think not.

We here at the MIfHSaW care for your safety. And if that means banning soft drinks, hard drinks, drinks that come in plastic containers; or whatever, well, that’s EXACTLY what we’ll do. We’re the government, we know what’s good for you.

For those of you south of the 49, here’s a healthcare “teachable moment”, courtesy of the governments of Canada:

Pressured by an aging population and the need to rein in budget deficits, Canada’s provinces are taking tough measures to curb healthcare costs, a trend that could erode the principles of the popular state-funded system.

“There’s got to be some change to the status quo whether it happens in three years or 10 years,” said Derek Burleton, senior economist at Toronto-Dominion Bank.

“We can’t continually see health spending growing above and beyond the growth rate in the economy because, at some point, it means crowding out of all the other government services.

“At some stage we’re going to hit a breaking point.”

Healthcare costs are out of control in Canada. They, among other sweet entitlements, are decimating provincial budgets. Canadians respond in typical fashion by saying, “keep your hands off our *free* healthcare.” All the while our system is going broke (or is broke), has become bloated and inefficient, and is delivering services at a snails pace.

Speaking of costs:

Healthcare in Canada is delivered through a publicly funded system, which covers all “medically necessary” hospital and physician care and curbs the role of private medicine. It ate up about 40 percent of provincial budgets, or some C$183 billion ($174 billion) last year.

If you Americans want to get an idea how much Obamacare and his “free” system is going to cost, do this simple math: Canada has 1/10 the population of the States. $183 billion was eaten up by our provinces to pay for healthcare. Now multiply.

Spending has been rising 6 percent a year under a deal that added C$41.3 billion of federal funding over 10 years.

But that deal ends in 2013, and the federal government is unlikely to be as generous in future, especially for one-off projects.

“As Ottawa looks to repair its budget balance… one could see these one-time allocations to specific health projects might be curtailed,” said Mary Webb, senior economist at Scotia Capital.

Brian Golden, a professor at University of Toronto’s Rotman School of Business, said provinces are weighing new sources of funding, including “means-testing” and moving toward evidence-based and pay-for-performance models.

“Why are we paying more or the same for cataract surgery when it costs substantially less today than it did 10 years ago? There’s going to be a finer look at what we’re paying for and, more importantly, what we’re getting for it,” he said.

Other problems include trying to control independently set salaries for top hospital executives and doctors and rein in spiraling costs for new medical technologies and drugs.

Good luck. Try taking the financial incentive away from doctors and see what happens. Taking away the financial incentive from doctors is the main reason why we lost so many of them to the States the last 20 years. I know this seems crazy, but doctors, not unlike every other Joe in Canada, like to make money. They don’t like being capped, the resent it. It you cap a doctors pay, they will do less work. This is the reality of life.

Ontario says healthcare could eat up 70 percent of its budget in 12 years, if all these costs are left unchecked.

Then what is the solution to cutting costs, where will the cuts start?

In a report released last week, TD Bank said Ontario should consider other proposals to help cut costs, including scaling back drug coverage for affluent seniors and paying doctors according to quality and efficiency of care.

Yes, cut drug coverage for “affluent seniors.” Unfortunately, that pool has shrunk considerably since Dalton McGuinty came to power, I hope there is a plan B.

And that pretty much sums up how healthcare works in Canada. Canadian provinces are not allowed to set up for-profit/private clinics because they benefit the “rich” and everyone in Canada is mandated equal healthcare privilages as dictated by law. However, when CUTTING programs for healthcare, the government always looks first at the “rich.” It’s not as if “rich” Canadians didn’t pay their fair share of taxes throughout their lives, and many times they probably paid MORE than their fair share, but when it comes to cuts, all of a sudden we are not all equal, the “rich” suddenly have targets on their backs.

So, you may never have paid taxes in your life in Canada, or you may have walked off a banana boat onto these shores 10 minutes ago, but YOUR drug benefits are free, but a tax-paying Canadian will have his coverage CUT because he was stupid enough to become rich.

You see, no one in the highest offices of power ever suggests that we cut the “abortion budget”, or not pay for sex-change operations for the transgendered, oh no. Keep your stinkin’ hands off my body. If someone wants to lead a lifestyle whereby they get pregnant, oh, let’s say 10 times in their life, and has an abortion every time, well, taxpayers are on the hook for it. Irresponsible? I told you, keep your stinkin’ hands off my body.

But if you’re rich? Pay up, deadbeat.

What other brilliant cost-saving measures are up for discussion?

Scotia Capital’s Webb said one cost-saving idea may be to make patients aware of how much it costs each time they visit a healthcare professional. “(The public) will use the services more wisely if they know how much it’s costing,” she said.

“If it’s absolutely free with no information on the cost and the information of an alternative that would be have been more practical, then how can we expect the public to wisely use the service?”

What, I’ve been told all my life that healthcare is free?

This is not only an idea that won’t save money, it’s an idea that will cost money. Plain and simple – most citizens of Canada do not give a SHIT about the cost of healthcare, and a piece of paper outlining that Sanjit’s emergency visit for his sore throat cost taxpayers $145.00 means nothing to Sanjit. NOTHING. As long as there is no bottom line that says Sanjit has to pay a portion of that bill, Sanjit and all the little Sanjit’s of Canada could not care less.

And how will this idea cost taxpayers more money? Well, unless we have trained robots hiding amongst the ranks in Health Canada, who is going to administer this idea? We will need a new department, photocopy paper, new computers, an operating budget, blah blah to bloody hell blah. Wait, I know where we can get the money for this! From affluent Canadians. We’ll just take their drug plans.

Works EVERY time.

**Please click to enlarge graphic

This is the shiatsu-self-massage chart. What makes this different than most self-massage charts you’re use to, is this doesn’t involve turning out the lights, making sure no one is creeping around upstairs, and that guilty feeling right after you’ve *self-massaged*. Sicko.

Hell no, The Mayor says. The shiatsu self-massage chart is the real deal. The Mayor uses it daily for energy flow, memory, and because I love pretty pictures. The Mayor really lurves pretty pictures.

It won’t hurt to give this a go, it’s always smart to keep an open mind about these type of things. Just because you try shiatsu doesn’t mean you’ll soon be eating nothing but stir fry’s, mindlessly following your government, and manufacturing cheap products that will be sold in large Western retail stores. It doesn’t mean that at all. It means that you will have expanded your mind, tried something that has worked for literally thousands and thousands of years, and plus you’ll be able to gaze at those same purty picture The Mayor looks at and lurves each and every day.

So The Mayor does partake in shiatsu every day?

Hahaha, nice try, like I’d ever let you take a glimpse into my life.

A recently released study suggests that minority women in Canada have a harder time accessing the Canadian health care system compared to Canadian-born individuals:

Many women from visible minority groups say they have difficulty getting a primary-care physician or specialists to address urgent health concerns or to monitor chronic medical conditions, a study has found.

The study found that 15 per cent of immigrants living in Canada less than five years did not have a primary-care doctor, compared to 7.3 per cent of Canadian-born adults.

That’s terrible. If this is true, it means that only 85% of women from visible minority groups are having no trouble finding a doctor compared to 92% of Canadian born peoples. As a Canadian born male, I’m ashamed to find that we have a very slight advantage whem it comes to finding primary care physicians than that of  newly arrived immigrants.

Furthermore, almost one-third of women who did not often speak English or French at home reported more difficulties accessing care from a family doctor to monitor health problems. That compares to less than 20 per cent of women who speak English or French.

That’s another jaw-dropping statistic. Women from visible minorities who don’t speak English had a slightly harder time finding a doctor than those peoples who actually speak English.

Christopher McIntosh, health services director at the Davenport Perth Neighbourhood Centre, said language can be a huge barrier for recent immigrants and minority groups when it comes to navigating the health-care system.

At the health centre in west-end Toronto, services include providing translators for patients, many of whom are recent immigrants who speak only Spanish or Portuguese.

Finally some good news. Providing translators for those immigrants who don’t speak English sure is a lot easier than the immigrants actually learning to speak English. Immigrants won’t speak English? No problem, we’ll provide translators. What the heck, it’s only time and money that could be used elsewhere….like say, speeding up emergency room times.

Women, in particular, may have fallen through the health-care cracks because many seek care for their children or adult relatives, said McIntosh. “They are typically placing themselves last.”

Martyrs. The whole darn tootin’ lot. All martyrs in The Mayor’s opinion. Imagine, these martyrs are actually placing themselves last behind their children and adult relatives. I do have a suggestion though: while booking an appointment with a doctors receptionist for their children and or adult family member, perhaps the martyrs should just swallow hard and book an appointment for themselves while they’re on the phone. There’s really no harm in that. It’s just a little more ink that the receptionist will have to scrawl down on an appointment paper.

The report, released Tuesday, is part of the larger POWER (Project for an Ontario Women’s Health Evidence-Based Report) study. The researchers say it is the first to provide a comprehensive overview of women’s health in relation to gender, income, education, ethnicity and geography.

POWER? Shouldn’t it be PFOWHEBR? No wonder immigrants are so confused and can’t get proper care. How do we expect immigrants to get proper care when the group detailing the injustices done to them can’t even get their own abbreviations correct?

I’m sure PFOWHEBR has no skin in the game, doesn’t run on government money and isn’t skewing this report for the benefit of getting more money to skew more reports. One thing I do know for sure though: Canada is a racist shithole.

Canada obviously needs more translators, activists and advocators to help non-English speaking immigrants access *free* health care. We have let our immigrants down. We have dropped the ball. At this rate, if these poor souls continue to be not-denied access to *free* health care, they’re going to have to possibly learn English. And we can’t have that now, can we?

By now you’re all too aware that heathcare *reform* narrowly passed last night in the congress. Your blood pressure is probably still bubbling, your heart is probably still racing, and your disgust probably hasn’t lessened one iota.

So what should you do in the immediate?

Nothing. Not a bloody thing.

Wash your hands of it. Walk away from all news reports about it. For now, forget about it.

Take a week off from this subject, you’ve been inundated with *news* about healthcare *reform* for months, and now for the most part, it’s over. You need to re-energize, collect yourself, take a week off to clear your mind. And when you come back, after the week or two or three, you’ll have a head full of steam, you’ll be able to think clearly, you’ll be a machine.

And that’s what it’s going to take if you want to decimate the communists in November. That’s what it’s going to take to rid the US of the commie in the White House in 2012.

For now though, do nothing, this fight has been fought. It was never a fair fight, but it’s over.

And don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying stay away from Mitchieville for weeks on end. On the contrary, you need to triple and quintooople your visits to Mitchieville. The Mayor knows what ails ya, The Mayor has your medicine.

AFTER healthcare reform happens? But the democrats don’t have the votes! Ya, sure.

Folks, all is said and done. The fat lady is belting out a tune. The Obama administration is chanting, “all your healthcare are belong to us.”

Pelosi et al may be a few votes short right now, but the remaining democrat holdouts to healthcare reform are just waiting for a better package of bribes, graft and sweeteners. The holdouts learned well. They saw from the last healthcare debacle that those who held out received billions for their efforts, and the congressional weasels are masters of corruption, they just haven’t been bribed enough. Yet.

Take Kucinich (please), for example. It was only TWO WEEKS ago that he swore he would NEVER vote for a bill that didn’t contain a public option. But he stated yesterday he would indeed vote for the bill (that he hasn’t seen), even though he knows it is flawed, unworkable and downright terrible. And what did the muckity-mucks bribe him with? Knowing Kucinich, they probably only had to give him a shinier tinfoil hat and cool reflectors for his spaceship. But you get the idea.

Why would anyone vote for a bill knowing that it will cost them their job come November? You ask that question as a Conservative, try looking at it from a liberal point of view. First of all, anyone that votes for this steaming pile of crap will never be out of a job. There are tens of thousands of ACORN jobs waiting to be had. Tens of thousands of union jobs waiting for the right person. Tens of thousands of jobs sitting on committees that have yet to be formed yet. They will accomplish nothing, but will pay handsomely.

Secondly, although liberals are about as useless as women’s rights in Saudi Arabia, they are disciplined and ideologically driven. When Conservatives are upset to the point of exploding, they watch FOX news and grumble. Sometimes they phone their congressman to voice their opinion. When liberals are upset to the point of exploding, they EXPLODE. They hold massive rallies, take over buildings, threaten and abuse. But they get shit done.

Liberals don’t care whether they get turfed come November because they want healthcare reform at ANY price. They are willing to sacrifice their jobs. They also know that although healthcare reform may be splitting the country up right now, in five years it will be viewed as an entitlement. Like it is here in Canada. And everywhere in the free world. “I want my free healthcare.” I DEMAND better FREE healthcare.” Blah blah blah.

In other words, once it’s done, it aint gonna be undone. People will come to expect it.

So let’s quickly run-down what the US government has nationalized or is about to stick their tentacles into:

• banks
• insurance companies
• car companies
• Amtrak
• post office
• 80% of residential mortgages via Fanny & Freddie
• student loans
• healthcare
• social security
• and a whole lot more!

So, when put in context, the government runs pretty much everything.

But what will happen AFTER healthcare reform is passed?

Obama will push for an amnesty bill and add 25 million illegals to the books.

What?? There’s only 11 million illegals in the US! Oh really? I’ll bet you Fenris’ next paycheque that when all is said and done you’ll see it’s a hell of a lot closer to 25 than it is to 11.

But not to worry – if Obama can bring down the cost of healthcare by a trillion dollars over ten years by insuring 30 million MORE people, imagine how much the gov’t is going to save when they have to insure an extra 25 million illegals. Green shoots. And leaves.

Also consider that most elections are won/lost by a few million votes either way. Now ask yourself this: when Obama grants amnesty to the 25 million illegals and gives them free everything (not that they don’t get everything for free right now), who do you think those happy peoples will vote for come next election?

Obama 2012 - he’s a shoe-in.

Last week, Barack Obama had his first medical examination since becoming President, and the results show he’s as healthy as a horse.  A cigarette smoking, drunken horse:

His health was described as excellent and he does not have to return for another medical until 2012. Obama, who is 48, has 20-20 vision, weighs 179 lbs in his shoes and clothes, and requires little medication.

And his clothes and shoes account for about 8 lbs, so he’s really around 170 lbs soaking wet. He’s also 6′2″ tall. I use to know a guy who was 6′2″ and 170 lbs, his nickname was “Crackpipe Jerry”. I’m not suggesting Obama is still using cocaine, but when you get down to that weight it’s generally because you’re a drug user or you have AIDS. I’m not saying Obama has AIDS, but according to any height/weight ratio chart, a healthy weight for a male that’s 6′2″ is anywhere between 175 lbs and 197 lbs. Then again, that’s a pretty decent weight for your average Kenyan. I suppose that eating plates of arugula and all that time spent bowing to foreign leaders have really trimmed down the young Community Organizer.

Obama is sensitive about his cigarette habit and tetchy with reporters who raise it. But after his 90-minute medical at the Navy hospital outside Washington yesterday morning, his doctors confirmed he had not yet managed to conquer the habit and suggested he “continue smoking cessation efforts”.

The doctors said the president used medication to try to ease the pangs, they described it as “nicotine replacement therapy, self-use”.

Obama is sensitive about his smoking habit because he’s always Jonesin’ for a smoke. You saw what he was like at that health summit circus the  other day, he was hanging so bad I thought he was going to start gnawing on Nancy Pelosi’s face. Not that Pelosi would have been able to feel it, what with Obama’s sensitive baby teeth and Pelosi’s face that’s as tough as the tread on my massive SUV.

But I thought Obama promised a certain woman with an enormous ass that he was going to quit when he became President?

Obama promised Michelle when he embarked on his campaign to become president he would quit, at the time he said he was smoking about eight a day.

About eight a day? Like maybe ten a day then? Or 15? I use to be an amazing smoker, a little less than a pack a day. But when someone asked me how much I smoked, I never said, “Ahhh, about 22 cigarettes a day”, I said a pack a day. When Obama said ”Eight a day” , he’s trying to minimize the fact that he’s a smoke hound. His clothes stink, his teeth are yella, his lungs look like Vladimir Putin’s head.

So Obama lied to his wife and children. Big deal, I suppose, none of our business. It’s not like he’s lied to the American public. Right? Buehler? I mean, his lying isn’t some sort or pattern. Right? Buehler.

Oh well, so he’s a smoker. Lots of people smoke. Not many Presidents mind you, but lots of people do, none-the-less. It’s not like he’s a drunk:

The doctors also recommended “moderation of alcohol intake”.

Come again?

The doctors also recommended “moderation of alcohol intake”.

Say that slower…

The      doctors      also     recommended     ”moderation     of     alcohol     intake”.

One more time for the record:

The doctors also recommended “moderation of alcohol intake”.

How many of you occasional drinkers have had a physical and after all is said and done, the doctor recommends that you should “moderate your drinking?” Even if you have a glass of wine a day, no doctor is going to tell you to moderate your drinking. Because that’s not a big deal. The only reason a doctor would tell you to moderate your drinking is if your drinking is problematic enough that it warrants moderation.

So Obama is in excellent physical health, but he’s underweight, he’s a smoker and a booze hound? Like River Phoenix, he is.

Believe me when I say I have no problem with a smoking, drinking, lying, underweight, Kenyan Manchurian President. If Obama wants to smoke, it’s his own choice. If he wants to pound back the wine coolers (because you know that’s all the lightweight could handle), then so be it. Lying to his wife? That’s between Obama and Allah.

If Obama’s “excellent health” is the prognosis of the state-employed health care physician, then by God, when socialized medicine is rammed through in another month, that will mean every American will suddenly morph into perfect physical condition.

Newfoundland Premier, Danny Williams, left for the States yesterday to undergo heart surgery:

The deputy premier of Newfoundland and Labrador says Danny Williams is undergoing heart surgery in the United States because the treatment he is seeking was not available in his home province.

Kathy Dunderdale says the premier decided to go to the U.S. for surgery after weeks of consultation with his doctors, but added she wasn’t aware whether that type of surgery was offered elsewhere in Canada.

It’s a running joke in Canada, but none-the-less it’s true: we have the best health care system in the word, unless you get sick.

Remember this the next time you hear a politician cry and scream about how unfair two-tier healthcare is, about how we must *preserve* the *unique* system we have in place. Remember this the next time you or someone you know has to wait 6 months for an MRI, while politicians jump on a plane and get immediate treatment in the US. The US served Jean Cretien and family well, it served Michael Ignatieff well (for 30 years), and now it’s serving Danny Williams well. Three politicians that advocate for Canadian style healthcare – for YOU. Excuse me, let me rephrase that, three LIBERAL politicians that advocate Canadian style healthcare – for YOU.

And for our American friends - what further evidence do you need to prove that socialized medicine is a resounding success?

I suppose on the bright side, when we get seriously sick in Canada, it gives us a chance to see the world.