So you have finally decided to say screw you to *The Man* and are finally ready to open up your own business. Good for you. You have a novel idea, you have unlimited energy, and so much passion that family members and friends can’t stand being beside you because you bore the shit out of them with your incessant ramblings about how *awesome* your new store is going to be. First of all, drop the word *awesome* – it is possibly the most overused word ever in the English language (show of hands – how many people, when hearing the word *awesome*, want to smash the face in of said *awesome* user? Surprise, 100000 to none).
Your store is going to be great, there is no doubting that. But how are you going to make your store stand out among the other 5 trillion stores in North America? How are you going to differentiate your place of business from the retail hell that takes up half of every livable square foot on this continent?
Simple. You are a royal prick and a condescending piece of shit that everybody loathes, therefore, you should open up a boutique.
Opening a boutique is perfect for people who think they have style, yet possess no more class than a maggot stuck on a chunk of meatloaf in a dirty dumpster. And that’s perfect for you.
Now that you have decided on the boutique meme, the next thing you have to choose is a name for your place of business. Seeing as though you have the boutique thing going on, the name of your store must reflect the snobbishness your boutique emits. Remember, you are better than everyone else, make sure your name has a snooty factor of infinity.
The Mayor has come up with a few names (perfect names) to help you out. Any one of these names is money in the bank. Feel free to take one, there is no charge.
- Memories Cast In Salt Water
- Footprints Drawn In The Sand
- A Child’s Dream
- Tender Heart, Baby Breath Kisses
- A Walk Through Tyme
- Enchanted Memories Of Love
The Mayor is sure he could come up with another 50 names in the next 5 minutes if he cared enough, but guess what? You got it, The Mayor careth not.
And remember – you can either use the word boutique at the beginning or the end of the name. For instance, you can either have “Boutique – A handmade Heart”, or, “Handmade Heart Boutique”.
Feel free to add to this disgusting list, the boutique crowd will thank you for it (in their own stuck-up way.)