Archive for the ‘Iraq’ Category

Brian Williams Is A Misrememberer

Thursday, February 5th, 2015

No, this isn’t a post about Hillary Clinton misremembering that she was under sniper fire in Kosovo, and no, this isn’t a post about NBC misremembering editing a 911 call to make George Zimmerman look guilty, and this isn’t even a post about Elizabeth Warren misremembering that she’s an Indian. This is a post about Brian Williams misremembering that the helicopter he was on in Iraq 12 years ago was shot down by “enemy insurgents.”

And what better way to say I’m sorry than to misremember how to say “I Lied”?

“After a groundfire incident in the desert during the Iraq war invasion, I made a mistake in recalling the events of 12 years ago,” he said. “It did not take long to hear from some brave men and women in the air crews who were also in that desert. I want to apologize. I said I was traveling in an aircraft that was hit by [rocket-propelled grenade] fire. I was instead in a following aircraft. . . . This was a bungled attempt by me to thank one special veteran and, by extension, our brave military men and women, veterans everywhere, those who have served while I did not.”

Keep in mind that he had made the same mistake for 12 continuous years.

“I would not have chosen to make this mistake,” Williams told the newspaper. “I don’t know what screwed up in my mind that caused me to conflate one aircraft with another.”

What caused Williams to “conflate” was that he had lied for 12 straight years without getting caught and thought he could get away with it forever. Hell, he told the same misrememberating LAST WEEK.

In the hockey broadcast last week, Williams told viewers, “The story actually started with a terrible moment a dozen years back during the invasion of Iraq when the helicopter we were traveling in was forced down after being hit by an RPG.

Give him another 2 years and Williams would be telling the story how after his helicopter was shot down by “insurgents”, he went to the Presidential palace, found Saddam Hussein hiding in his linen closet, and proceeded to shove a Sharpie into his ball-sac.

The Mayor completely understands misremembering. Sometimes The Mayor forgets where he leaves his keys. Sometimes he forgets to throw the wet laundry into the dryer. One time The Mayor even forgot to turn off his lights on his massive SUV. Things happen. People forget. But misremembering that the helicopter you were on got shot down by “freedom fighters”, and then turn around and repeat that story for TWELVE YEARS? Ahhhhhhhh, no.

On the “importance scale of life” for The Mayor, Brian Williams ranks somewhere between Bruce Jenner’s sex change and a clutter of nasty weeds that grow in the backyard. Having said that, if Williams wants to *make right*, the first thing he needs to do is to actually say he is sorry. Forget all the misremembering talk, and all the bullshit-speak that weasel’s of his ilk are prone to saying. Just say sorry. And then move on. But somewhere between saying sorry and moving on, get some professional help, you crazy shit.

So long Israel, and hello Vienna! – Saved in Drafts

Thursday, December 16th, 2010

**It certainly wouldbe nice if Fenris revisited this piece and finished it. The Mayor doesn’t like posts that end with the word “and”. It leaves too much up in the air. This post is from 2.14.2010. Woulda coulda shoulda won some sort of award, and…

I have been bothered at my leisure with demands for production about the soon to be non-existance of Israel.  Yeah, sure, it is a tasty subject for satire.  It is grim and there will be quite a few war movies, great war movies of the future, to be written, scripted, story-boarded, filmed, edited, and shown.  So I will write quick, as there are only a few more paragraphs to go before I am done with you.

Today is the first Saturday after the Persians went public with the Bomb. They have the Bomb.  They have stated quite clearly the conditions under which they will use their Bomb.  This is quite Queensberry rules, and every dead Statesman you talk to on the Ouija board will tell you that what they say is true enough to take heed of, and if you heed their boundary conditions, the Bomb will not go boom.  So what?  So what does this have to do with Israel?  Those Persian atomic bombs can only hit Los Angeles, maybe San Francisco, certainly Honolulu.  Utah is safe.  So who cares?

Sure, Israel has the Bomb. They have the Bomb too.  Big Deal.  This problem is not a big problem as far as Military problems go.  Israel does not fear the Bomb.  They are more likely to fire their broadside first, and it just might happen in this wonderful decade of 2010.  But before we get to how earthquakes and atomic bombs are like each other in effect, I want to talk about the ruthless self-interest of nation states.

This is a bad thing for Israel, but not in the way you would expect. History suggests that powers that pay tribute, pay tribute for appeasement, effect, or subterfuge.

Appeasement. The defeated in war end up paying tribute.  A certain amount of the trillions invested in Israel every year has a proportion, a percentage that is simple weregild, blood money for a ’sorry we shot your Grandpa’ that comes with a rather nice greeting card.

Appeasement, but. But the great power that was enforcing this payment is under a leader of Hope and Change. He has been bowing to these other, lesser, tribute paying powers. Today, Saturday, the Final Decision Makers are listening to Opera at their weekend retreats, sipping the best, and deciding. Maybe the Israel money does not have to be paid. Not now. The Americans are choosing retreat as their policy. So weregild for Israel can stop.

Effect. Sure, your tribute money buys you some peace and contentment over close there to where the oil fields are. But lately, last few years, those shipping lines, pipelines, refineries are

Iraq – America Won?

Monday, January 25th, 2010


From all the hoopla and the 24/7 news coverage we have been seeing this past weekend by the state-controlled media, I’m sure this will come as old news to you: the U.S. Marines wrapped up seven years of duty in Iraq on Saturday, handing over its duties to the Army:

The Marines formally handed over control of Sunni-dominated Anbar, Iraq’s largest province, to the Army during a ceremony at a base in Ramadi – where some of the fiercest fighting of the war took place.

If all goes as planned, the last remaining Marines will be followed out by tens of thousands of soldiers in the coming months. President Barack Obama has ordered all but 50,000 troops out of the country by Aug. 31, 2010, with most to depart after the March 7 parliamentary election.

The remaining troops will leave by the end of 2011 under a U.S.-Iraqi security pact.

Keep in mind that nearly 1000 Marines have lost their lives in Iraq since 2003. The Marines were in charge of the Anbar region, and fought deadly ongoing battles in Fallujah and Ramadi. And now the Marines have wrapped up their mission in Anbar and have handed over their duties to the Army, but the state-controlled scumsuckers don’t have time to report anything of significance about that, instead focusing on the false rumours of the breakup of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, and the new season of American Idol.

But we here at Mitchieville remember. And we thank the good Lord above for the sacrifices these brave men and women have given for their country.

WAR! Well, not quite…

Friday, December 18th, 2009


Headline on the news feed, Friday:

Iraq minister denies Iranian oilfield incursion

Roughly an hour later:

Iranian forces take over Iraq oil well

It makes me wonder if a lot of these false starts by the news media are our fault for our insatiable appetite for wanting the breaking news development now now now.

There is not a chance of war between Iran and Iraq over this incident. Apparently Iranian forces have wandered into Iraqi territory and claimed a disputed oilfield as their own. Luckily, many of these experienced soldiers in the thick of things in Iraq have cooler heads, like Colonel Peter Newell:

“What happens is, periodically, about every three or four months, the oil ministry guys from Iraq will go … to fix something or do some maintenance. They’ll paint it in Iraqi colours and throw an Iraqi flag up.

“They’ll hang out there for a while, until they get tired, and as soon as they go away, the Iranians come down the hill and paint it Iranian colours and raise an Iranian flag. It happened about three months ago and it will probably happen again.”

It doesn’t look as if Tehran has any interest in a war with Iraq right now, especially since they now have their best friend in the world, the United States, backing them up and looking for any sort of excuse. There might be a prospect for Iran extending its grasp a bit, but a more democratic and economically advanced Iraq would be in a better position to toss them out, not to mention the legitimacy of a democratic state versus a theocracy would have more sympathy from the international players.

This might also be the reason that many of these fields are not developed yet. Why bother building a giant oil processing plant if the Iranians will just march in and take it? With reserves of 1.55 million barrels, it is rather small potatoes compared to larger oilfields once in dispute. Kuwait, say.

When even the Drudge Report has a red headline screaming about invasions, be careful. If diplomacy and peace settlements are to be meant for the long-term and substantial, we can’t allow ourselves to panic upon the Pop-Tart instant news that will blow things out of proportion. Iraq’s future will be decided on its own long-term strategy, which will not attract the attention of any reporters looking to get to the story first, no matter how inflated or erroneous.