Archive for the ‘James Brown’ Category

Dew Dubbed

Thursday, August 16th, 2012

“Hitler Did Nothing Wrong”, my, what an interesting name for a new Mountain Dew product. Sure, “Gushin’ Granny” and “Diabeetus” have a certain je ne sais pas quality about them, but “Hitler Did Nothing Wrong” certainly sounds more refreshing.

Pavarotti and James Brown

Friday, September 7th, 2007

This is killing two birds with one stone, so to speak. After all is said and done, there is a reason why Pavorotti should stick to opera.

James Brown Widow Does Not Feel Good

Thursday, January 4th, 2007

It might not have been right for James to beat the crap out of his first three wives, but let’s face it, this bitch had it coming.

James Brown Does NOT Feel Good

Tuesday, December 26th, 2006

The Godfather of various African-American music, including disco, has died:

Brown was hospitalized with pneumonia on Sunday and died of heart failure around 1:45 a.m. yesterday, said his agent, Frank Copsidas.

The accolades are pouring in, and not all of them are from the MTV crowd that don’t know their ass from a hole in the ground. Some of the accolades that are coming in are from people that actually know their ass from a hole in the ground. And then there are some which defy description:

“He was an innovator, he was an emancipator, he was an originator. Rap music, all that stuff came from James Brown,” said entertainer Little Richard, a longtime friend of Brown’s. “A great treasure is gone.”

An emancipator? Wow, he even freed slaves, is there nothing this guy couldn’t do?

I heard that James Brown was so great that he even sang various songs like Papa’s Got a Brand New Bag and Night Train to his ex-wives right before he punched the shit out of them. He was no ordinary wife abuser, he was the Godfather of wife abuse. OWWWWWWWW!!!

I heard that when James Brown got all hopped up on PCP and threatened to shoot the heads off of random pedestrian’s, he would sing Living in America first. Even though the whole *PCP/Shoot your face off thing* was rather scary for Brown’s numerous victims, the Godfather of PCP/Firearms crime could still make ya smile. OWWWWWW!!!

James Brown is going to be sorely missed. Not so much by his four ex-wives that he repeatedly gave busted eyeballs to, or to law enforcement officials who spent more time chasing him across state lines than Bonnie and Clyde, or even to the dozens of people that James threatened to murder. But he will be missed by various white news reporters who will drone on and on about how Brown shaped America and what a guiding force he was to the civil rights movements of the 60’s. As for that other stuff I mentioned? Forget about it, this is James fucking Brown we’re talking about, he’s a national treasure. OWWWWWW!!!

It’s a Man’s Man’s Man’s World