Archive for the ‘Jenna Jameson’ Category

Jenna Jameson Gets Naked For Animals

Tuesday, August 12th, 2008

I find it amusing that PETA, the group that is against the exploitation of animals, can use a pig like that to promote their cause. Hypocrites. I also find it funny that Jenna Jameson is for the spaying and neutering of animals, yet she doesn’t have the good grace to get herself spayed. Hypocrite.

I have to admit though, with the help of Photoshop, a belly full of whiskey, bad vision, and the desire to die by herpes, Jenna Jameson actually looks pretty good. Hypocrite.

Jenna Jameson Is Pregnant

Thursday, August 7th, 2008

Jenna Jameson, supposedly *ex* porn star and girlfriend of UFC fighter Tito Ortiz, announced today that she is pregnant:

“She’s completely thrilled, this is something she’s wanted for a very long time.”

That’s going to be the only delivery ever that takes 3 minutes and causes no pain. Considering that Jenna Jameson’s vagina has seen more meat than a Tyson’s processing plant, that kid is going to pretty much crawl out of her when it’s ready. This is, however, going to be a strange experience for Jenna, she’s really only use to large objects going into her, not coming out. I predict she’ll easily adjust though, she’s got that old porn star spirit still left inside of her. As well as a watch, a tv remote, car keys, etc…

She’ll be the perfect mom

Jenna Jameson Ate No Fat

Tuesday, August 14th, 2007

Didn’t Jenna’s momma ever tell Jenna that if she choked too much sausage her face was going to stay that way? I guess not. You would have thought that with all the tube steak and oral protein injections Jenna Jameson has received in her illustrious, pornorific career, that she would be immortal, but that is not the case. Who would have guessed that the young, large tittied, cork smokin’ giant whore would turn into a not-so-stacked, cork smokin’, old, skinny whore in just a few short years? Man, I didn’t see that cumin.

Got Milk?

Friday, March 30th, 2007

A production company is upset with Jenna Jameson, and is threatening to back out of a deal to make her book, How to Make Love Like a Porn Star, into a movie, because Jenna isn’t showing up for meetings.

However, Jenna has a perfectly reasonable excuse:

Our source says the gorgeous blond, who has to look good from head to toe professionally, has had a little work done “down there” – and is not pleased with it.

“She underwent a vaginoplasty at a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon, and she is very unhappy,” said the source, who added, in perhaps an unfortunate choice of words, “she has decided to hole up and not speak to anybody. The producers are about to pull the plug on the movie,” which would be a mainstream production.

A Vaginoplasty? What the hell do they do, insert an anchovy?

Let’s face it, by now Jenna Jameson’s vagina is about as wide and deep as a moons crater, not even four 75lb bags of cement could fill that bad bastard. Sources tell me that the next child Angelina Jolie adopts will be from Jenna Jameson’s vagina. I hear that her vagina lips are so big that when she sneezes they flap around so hard it sounds like she’s giving you a standing ovation. When she takes her pants off it looks like Dumbo’s head is sticking out.

You get the idea

Mike Tyson—Adult Film Star?

Friday, August 5th, 2005

The Superficial gave me the heads up to this ESPN story that says Mike Tyson wants to jump into the Adult film business.

“I’ve talked to some people, I just talked to a gentleman named Jimmy, whose involved with Club Jenna, you know Jenna Jameson,” said Tyson. “They said they were interested in getting me involved in that kind of business as well.” Tyson doesn’t proceed to announce a three-picture deal, but doesn’t dismiss the notion, either.

Unlike Mikes boxing career as of late, Adult Film requires that you last for more than 12 minutes before you collapse from exhaustion. I suppose we’ll have to wait to see if the title *Iron* Mike is still appropriate.

One thing Mike has to remember when he’s in the sheets; if you get angry, it’s not okay to bite off someone’s appendage.