Archive for the ‘Jimmy Carter’ Category

There Is Nothing Noble About The Nobel

Saturday, October 10th, 2009


There has been so much made of Obama getting the Nobel Peace Prize yesterday that I thought I’d make my triumphant return after being away for two days (thanks for noticing) and add my two cents.

The way I see it, there are really only two camps of thought on this: A) Obama deserves the award because he is a man of peace, and B) What the hell?

You may find this hard to believe, but I’m glad Obama received the Nobel. However, I’m glad he received it, but not for the same reason the drooling lefties are glad he received it. Let me explain.


Jimmy Carter And His Animal Instincts

Wednesday, June 17th, 2009


Commenting from the Gaza Strip yesterday, Jimmy Carter (spit) had this to say about the treatment of the Palestinians by Israeli hands:

Palestinians in the Gaza Strip are being “treated more like animals than human beings”

In unrelated news, a protester in Iran comments on the presence of Hamas in Teheran:

“my brother had his ribs beaten in by those Palestinian animals. Taking our people’s money is not enough, they are thirsty for our blood too.”

I know a Jew who lives in the Gaza Strip and he has a dog that he treats like royalty. The animal eats the best food, sleeps in a nice air conditioned house, is taken for check-ups twice a year. He takes his animal for walks every day, plays with it, just loves the little thing to the end of the earth. When it gets cold out, he puts the cutest little jacket on the animal, as I said, he loves it.

That’s how my Jewish friend treats his animal.

Admittedly, if the animal started strapping explosives to its chest and blowing up cafes and innocent civilians, or started lobbing bombs into my Jewish friends house, then yes, the animal would have to be punished and punished hard.

You see, there are good animals and bad animals. There are animals that can live peacefully with humans and other animals that are mental in the head and need to be wiped off the face of the earth.

Jimmy Carter just happens to be hanging around the wrong type of animal, that’s all.

The Stimulus Package Is Going To Be A Collosal Failure

Thursday, February 19th, 2009

If you needed any more proof that Obama’s stimulus package is going to completely pooch America, read this and weep:

ATLANTA — Former President Jimmy Carter has voiced support for President Barack Obama’s plan to stimulate the economy.

Carter says he has “full confidence” in Obama’s proposal and expects it will take about six months for the economy to begin improving.

Whenever Carter speaks, always believe the exact opposite of what he is saying. When he says something is black, believe it is white. When he says something is up, believe it is down. When he says Simon, believe it is Garfunkel.

It’s hard to believe anything from a man whose head looks like a Granny Smith apple that has been sitting on my kitchen ledge for three months.

Jimmy Carter Feels The Economic Pain

Tuesday, January 13th, 2009

The international financial meltdown & worldwide liquidity crisis™ is starting to turn normal, average Joe’s into bloodthirsty thieving thieverish thieves–they have nowhere else to turn but to a life of crime. And these newly minted thieves are even stealing from those with the purest of hearts:

Two bicycles belonging to President Jimmy Carter and his wife, Rosalynn, were snatched from inside the Carter Center near downtown Atlanta earlier this month.

The couple likes to ride bicycles in nearby Freedom Park when they have free time.

I suppose the only things that console me in this time of crisis is that if it was Jimmy Carter’s bike that was stolen, you can be rest assured that it broke down on the thief 2 blocks from where it was poached.

The second consolable thing to come out of this is that Jimmy Carter is 85, and it’s probably best for the public’s safety that this old man doesn’t ride a bike. It’s probably best he sticks to pretending to build good homes, and yelling at kids to get out of his peanut plantation.

The third and final consolable thing to come out of this is that the thieves stole from Jimmy Carter, and Jimmy Carter can pretty well go and fuck himself. It’s just too bad the thieves didn’t steal his pacemaker or his medicine.

See–some good did come out of this trajedy.