Archive for the ‘Keira Knightly’ Category

20/20 Vision, My Friend

Thursday, May 20th, 2010

See, pops was right, it DOES make you go blind.

Keira Knightly Chews The Fat

Tuesday, September 18th, 2007

In an interview with Female First, Keira Knightly talks, again (for the zillionth time), about her weight related issues:

“Weight is a big issue in Hollywood because I’m twice the size – height and everything else – of most of the girls who are going in to see the director for a part. When you realise that I am, at my size, one of the largest actresses there, you start to think, ‘I don’t think it’d be healthy for me to stay here much longer.’ “

I think I can speak for 99.4% of heteronormative males and 92.5% of heteronormative females when I say that it matters not a whit whether Keira is regarded as too fat or too thin, that’s between Keira and her scale. What matters is that lack of nudity she has portrayed in movies. Enough of the weight talk, start showing some of those pointed bones you have protruding from your emaciated body. If I wanted to hear women yammering on about weight I’d throw a Jenny Craig party. Less talkie, more nudie.

Can I get a hell yes?!

The Mayor’s Linkie Love

Tuesday, August 22nd, 2006

Bookmark this site, it’s the second best place on the interwebs. Damn it, just do it! Keira Knightley Hears Wedding Bells

Haha, loser

South Park-Mel Gibson is Crazy

I hope she’s available for my birthday party this year

Do you have any children that you know about? Yes? Haha, sucker. Anyway, you might want to have a boo at The International Children’s Digital Library (thousands of online children’s books)

Keira Knightley-The Sexiest Woman in the World

Thursday, April 27th, 2006

British readers of FHM magazine have voted Keira Knightley the Sexiest woman in the world:

LONDON (Reuters) – British actress Keira Knightley was voted the world’s sexiest woman in a magazine poll on Thursday, beating model Keeley Hazel and Hollywood star Scarlett Johansson into second and third place respectively.

The poll, which British magazine FHM said was based on two million votes, saw homegrown model and TV presenter Kelly Brook slip to 5th from first last year, while Angelina Jolie, expecting a baby in mid-May, came fourth.

Keep in mind, when it comes to taste, the British like chow down on blood pudding.

Keira Knightley is sexy, she’s even hot, but to say that she’s the sexiest woman in the universe is quite a stretch. I know that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but what if the beholders of beauty happen to be 2 million partially blind British wankers?

Jessica Simpson and Jessica Alba aren’t even in the top 5. Wut up wit dat?

I think it’s time for the The Mayor’s Top Ten Sexiest Women in the Universe, 2006 edition, to be revealed. Give me a few weeks, I’ll show you what the hell sexy really means.

Keira Knightley Regrets Not Being a Slut

Wednesday, April 19th, 2006

Keira Knightley tells Sky Showbiz that she wishes her fame would have come later in life, giving her an opportunity to sleep around with more men. And Keira isn’t the only one that had that wish:

“My father says, ‘I wish this had happened in five years’ time, you could have been 20 and got really pissed and slept with loads of people and no one would have known’.

“That would have been great,” she concluded.

My father had similar thoughts after my sister received a promotion to become the assistant to the assistant manager of the Yarn Barn. He said, “Rachel, it’s too bad you didn’t get this promotion 5 years from now, then I would have been able to whore you out to foreigners for fivers and 20 packs of maple donuts.”.

It’s no wonder that the planet earth is in such good shape, and we owe it all to caring fathers like Keira’s dad.

Another Use My Computer pic

It’s never too late to become a whore, Keira, phone me tonight at The Manor