Archive for the ‘KFC Giveaway’ Category

KFC Now Offering Rain Checks

Sunday, May 10th, 2009

oprah-chicken

Since the announcement of The Great Queen Latifah  Oprah Winfrey 2009 KFC Giveaway, there has been anger, disgust, and riots at KFC stores throughout America. KFC’s have denied customers’ food, long lines are now the norm, stores have run out of chicken, and now KFC President Norm Eaton has announced they can no longer give away free chicken, but if you’re willing to jump through hoops, KFC will be sad happy to issue you a rain check:

We are so sorry, but due to the overwhelming response to our FREE Kentucky Grilled Chicken™ meal coupon, we can no longer redeem the free coupon at this time. But we will honor our commitment to giving you a free Kentucky Grilled Chicken meal.

Please visit a participating KFC restaurant for a rain check form. Complete the form, attach your original coupon , and give it to the KFC restaurant manager or postmark per the form’s instructions, by May 19, 2009, and we’ll send you a rain check for your free Kentucky Grilled Chicken meal at a later date, plus a free Pepsi with our compliments. Your participating KFC restaurant will provide you with the form you need.

Please note that the redemption periods of the rain checks will vary. All other terms and conditions of the original free Kentucky Grilled Chicken coupon will apply.

Thank you for your understanding.

We’re really sorry, but since the response was so great, we can’t give you food unless you pay? Your free coupons are worthless now? What the devil is this miscreant talking about? It’s not like they don’t have the food, I called my local KFC yesterday and I can assure you they’re flush with bean medley and stocked to the roof with artery clogging buckets of *special* chicken grease.

This Norm Eaton character is hoping that no one will follow the myriad of instructions given and peoples will just say faggetaboutit, it isn’t worth the hassle. And it’s not like Oprah has missed any meals in her life, she’s just going to make sure YOU’RE going to.

This whole debacle has given The Mayor a minor migraine. I care about the peoples, I work hard for the peoples and I would never let the peoples down. If I promised my constituents that every one of them was entitled to a free order of potato wedgies at the Spud Barn, then by golly, that’s what the peoples would get. If the response was so great, I wouldn’t lie to the peoples and tell them can’t redeem their free coupon for potato wedgies, I’d just make more bloody potatoes wedgies.

BTW–do you know what a woman and KFC have in common? After you’ve finished with the legs and breasts, all you’re left with is a greasy box to stick your bone in.

No, you disgust me.