Archive for the ‘Liberals’ Category

Fake News – It’s Real

Monday, December 12th, 2016

If you’ve been experiencing bouts of breathing lately and have had a regular heartbeat, you probably heard that shitlibs and their bought-and-paid-for Luegenpresse are simply OUTRAGED at the “fake news” they claim is coming out of Russia and other places where, ahhhh, fake news comes from. It’s so bad that shitlibers say the only reason Donald Trump won the election is because dumb asshole hickneck racist homo-hating normie hetero’s fell for these insane commie Nazi lies, because.

If this is true, and that Russian media outlets have been lying to the American public, then The Mayor is firmly on the side of the shitlibers, and believes the election is a fraud and the results must be overturned.

It’s just not fair that Russian media outlets lied. How on earth are people NOT going to believe Russian media lies? The Russian media have always been known for their straight-shooting truth telling, and for them to all of a sudden turn around and start to lie – well golly gee that isn’t fair now, is it?

There was a time not long ago – before the fall of the Soviet Union – when shitlibers LOVED all things commie. Whatever Pravda printed, you would hear the leftists trumpet verbatim. If Leonid Brezhnev said Russian citizens ate too much, Western shitlibs would tell you commie people’s were fat. If Nikita Khrushchev said Russian men had three testicles, Western manlets would agree and tell you it’s true because they experienced first hand having had Russian testicles parked on their chins on a regular basis. Now though? Not so much. Sure, shitlib manlets still allow commie testicles to get a free ride on their flat chins, but not Russian commies, because now Russian’s are no longer commie’s, they’re fascists. Or something like that.

You see, the American press doesn’t lie. They are incapable of lying. Shitlibs don’t lie, they don’t even know how to. The DNC can’t lie because. And Hillary Clinton certainly doesn’t lie and if you think she does/did, then you sir/madam are terribly mistaken. Therefore, how on earth could Donald Fucking Trump win the election if the leftist side of the political sphere doesn’t/can’t lie, and Hillary was the most perfect candidate, like ever?

The Russian lie machine, that’s what.

American’s obviously have never been lied to before and when they heard these terrible Russian lies, they pretty much had no choice but to believe them because they thought lies were truth. It makes sense. Obviously. Oh, and plus American Conservative’s are racist and hate women and fags.

Now comes the part where The Mayor is calling for a little favour from you. Stop yer lying. Especially if you’re part of Russian media. Just stop. You’re messing everything up. We can’t tell truth from lies and your brand of lies are so good that it is impossible for us to distinguish them from the truth. The Mayor feels like barfing right now. He feels like barfing up all those Russian lies, barfing them onto a plate, finding the lying liar who spread the lies, and totally pie-face him/her.

So, to recap – we’re stupid as a pound of shit and can’t tell the truth from lies, so if you can help it, only tell us the truth. Because we’re stupid. Opps, already mentioned that. That was stupid.


Justin Trudeau – Forever The Optimist

Wednesday, January 20th, 2016

When asked to comment about the IMF’s downgrade of the Canadian economy, Justin Trudeau avoided the question, but did have this to say:

“I’m going to talk to the World Economic Forum about how Canada is looking to invest and looking to build growth for the middle class. We’re going to talk about how diversity is a strength and really showcase the fact that Canada has tremendous opportunities and is facing challenges like lots of places but we have the tools to surpass those challenges in a way that should draw in global interest.”

The Mayor is positive that Justin Trudeau is on the right track here. Sure, most people think that business leaders from around the world are more interested in Canada’s business climate going forward, but Justin is correct to point out diversity is our strength. Yes, our oil sands have been decimated, public and private debt is through the roof, our economy is in and out of recession, but isn’t it way more important, as Justin will point out, that his cabinet is comprised of non-whites, homosexuals, cripples and various other vibrant people’s?

Canada has the tools to surpass all challenges. We have a toolbox full of tools. We have so many tools that if one were to look inside our toolbox they would be amazed at all the tools we possess. Big tools, little tools, sharp tools, metric tools, Robertson’s, all kind of tools. Yes, so far Justin hasn’t let anyone see his tools, but in time the world is going to see that the Canadian government is made up of nothing but tools. That much is guaranteed.

A final word to all business leaders looking to invest in Canada – we are a really cool country with tons of cool stuff. We have lots of cool diversity and stuff and can face any challenge with our tools. Look at the picture above – we have tons of cripples and women and minorities who all carry cool tools. We can help you with all sorts of cool stuff. Seriously.

Gun Control + No Control

Wednesday, February 12th, 2014

Dwayne Feguson, arrested for bringing a gun to Harvey Austin School, is a well-known community activist.

As coincidence would have it, just last night little Clare asked Daddy Mayor what the definition of *hypocrite* is. Daddy Mayor handed her this article and told her to get readin’:

Dwayne Ferguson spent more than a decade advocating for nonviolence and peace in the streets of Buffalo.

He was a well-known face in the movement for the SAFE Act, the state law that made carrying a gun on school property a felony. He was also a familiar presence in the hallways of the city’s Harvey Austin Elementary School, where he worked in the after-school program and mentored students.

No one imagined that on Thursday he would show up at the school in possession of a gun, touching off an hours-long lockdown, search and ultimately his arrest on two felony charges.

Ferguson, 52, told WGRZ-TV that he frequently carries the gun, for which he has a permit, and did not realize he had it on him when he went to the school as part of the mentoring program.

He was among local activists who stood with Assemblywoman Crystal Peoples-Stokes last year lobbying for a law that would make possessing a gun on school property a felony.

When The Mayor heads out to City Hall in the morning, it’s not uncommon for him to forget, or even to bring things with him he didn’t mean to. Just the other day, The Mayor left The Manor and had TLDG’s car keys in his pocket. One time The Mayor mistakenly brought along little Clare’s knapsack on his journey. Sometime’s The Mayor forgets his lunch, or takes TLDG’s lunch. However, there are some things The Mayor has never forgotten he has on his person. His pants, for instance. The Mayor never forgets to put on his pants. Socks and shoes. The Mayor always wears socks and shoes to work. Automatic weapons. That’s another thing The Mayor is aware of as he travels down the road. You see, automatic weapons are heavy and bulky, and take up quite a bit of room in The Mayor’s pocket, unlike, say, a pack of gum, or a gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond.

The Mayor is sure that this fine, upstanding pillar of the community, who fights on a daily basis for gun control, who tirelessly works to have guns stripped from law-abiding citizens like you and I (but not him), will be treated as honestly as fairly as any member of the NRA, or the Tea Party would be had they been caught in the same situation with a loaded handgun at a gun-free school.

After little Clare read the article, The Mayor asked her if she now knows the meaning of *hypocrisy*, to which she replied, “No daddy, I don’t. After all, I’m only five years old and can’t really read. However, from what I could understand, liberals sure are stupid assholes.”

That little Clare, she’s going to make a great Prime Minister one day.

Will Missile Defense make the U.S. “more, or less, secure?” – Joe Biden, 2001

Friday, April 5th, 2013

Here’s a prepared statement plug-head read when he chaired Senate Foreign Relations Committee hearing way back in 2001:

In his statement, Biden criticized the Bush administration proposal for a missile defense system, questioning whether the costs of missile defense outweighed its benefits.

“I worry that funds devoted to missile defense, or the recent tax cut, are hurting our ability to meet these more current and realistic threats,” Biden said.

“And I worry that a narrow-minded pursuit of missile defense, without having any notion of what missile defense to develop, could derail both our programs in Russia, as well as our negotiations with North Korea,” he added.

Biden went on to ask whether the Bush plan for a missile defense system would make the United States “more, or less, secure.”

The Mayor can’t believe he’s going to say this, but, please Obama, don’t die in office.

“Disenfranchised Youth” Riot For Third Straight Day

Thursday, March 14th, 2013

Still reeling from the effects of Colonialism in Africa and the chronic underfunding of social services for the inner-cities, youth of no particular colour clashed with Brooklyn po po for the third straight night:

At least 18 were arrested as fights between cops and angry teens erupted in East Flatbush. Police struggled to control a furious crowd that broke away from a planned peaceful vigil.

Protesters enraged over the fatal shooting of a teenager by police poured into Brooklyn streets for a third straight night Wednesday, pitching bricks, bottles and garbage in furious clashes with cops.

At least 18 demonstrators were arrested along Church Ave. in East Flatbush. Police struggled to control a hostile crowd that broke away from a planned peaceful vigil for Kimani (Kiki) Gray, 16, killed by police on Saturday night.

We need to remember this was a crowd that broke away from a Planned Peaceful Vigil® (not often do the journalistas need to put the word “peaceful” before the word vigil, but in this case they deem it necessary to drill that into our brains.)

Angry over the shooting death of a completely innocent African American (who has been arrested and charged three times in his short 16 years on this earth, and was carrying a loaded gun) by a cop, these same disenfranchised youth robbed, destroyed, and beat a white patron (a Reverend) at a pharmacy the night before:

The journalista didn’t find it necessary to mention the laundry list of convictions this marginalized youth has racked up in his short criminal career; didn’t find the need to tell us little Kimono (or whatever his name is) had a loaded gun at the time when he was shot, and didn’t feel the need to mention the little tyke was a member of the Bloods. The journalista didn’t mention the night before that these same blacks trashed a pharmacy and beat the hell out of a white patron. And by not telling those little morsels of truth, managed to fan the flames of racial hatred just a little more. Made sure to mention the thug was shot in the back, and didn’t include the fact the kid was carrying a loaded gun. Probably an illegal one, oh my!

That’s Journalism 101, dontchaknow.

Also, have a look at the pictures the journalista posted of little Kokomo (or whatever his name is). Isn’t he the sweetest looking thing?

Ladies – Prepare To Throw Up & Defend Yourself

Thursday, February 28th, 2013

The above list is courtesy of THE University of Colorado at Colorado Springs, which banned concealed carrying of guns on college campuses this week, but instead came up with a bunch of very helpful tips for stopping attackers and rapists, including – peeing and vomiting when confronted by a maniac.

The Mayor also suggests pooing oneself and speaking in tongues.

It seems the U of C came up with this list because they didn’t want to be outdone by Democratic State Rep. Joe Salazar, who said on the floor of the legislature earlier this week that “women should not carry firearms for protection against potential attacks because they could accidentally shoot someone.”

Maybe women are stupid. Is that it?

“It’s why we have call boxes, it’s why we have safe zones, it’s why we have the whistles. Because you just don’t know who you’re gonna be shooting at,” Salazar said. “And you don’t know if you feel like you’re going to be raped, or if you feel like someone’s been following you around or if you feel like you’re in trouble when you may actually not be, that you pop out that gun and you pop … pop a round at somebody.”

At least now the women of THE U of C can sleep well at night knowing that as they are being raped, there will a call box or a safe zone within 2000 yards of them. What a relief. Sure, Salazar is protected by armed security, and the chances of him getting raped are relatively slim (eye roll), but when it comes to protecting the women of THE U of C, a whistle should do the trick nicely.

Remember folks – the government is doing what is best for you, just lay down, close your eyes, and accept it.

Democrat Of The Year

Monday, January 7th, 2013

Estelle Carson (credit: CBS)

The Jefferson County Democratic Party has named Estelle Carson “Democrat of the Year”. And being a *good* Democrat means having to do typical Democratty things, like:

The woman named “Democrat of The Year” this year by the Jefferson County Democratic Party has been convicted of felony theft by a Jefferson County jury for stealing from a developmentally disabled 71-year-old woman.

“The jury did right,” said Cindy Maxwell, an advocate for the victim.

On Thursday, a jury convicted 66-year-old Estelle Carson of felony identify theft and felony theft from an at risk adult for stealing checks from the woman and using them to pay her own cable, cell phone and internet bills.

The victim is partially blind, developmentally disabled, has cerebral palsy and is confined to a wheelchair. She is on a fixed income of $596 per month according to the Jefferson County District Attorney’s Office.

Estelle Carson learned from the best and did what every and all Democrat’s dream about doing – redistributing the wealth.

How dare that ole cripple woman have so much money when Estelle had cable bills to pay? How dare that quadriplegic flaunt that cool $596 a month around when Estelle was (or wasn’t) having trouble paying her IPhone bill? How dare that wheelchair confined, cerebral palsy, disabled bird keep that money for herself when Estelle dun have those internet bills to pay?

The greed is sickening.

The Jefferson County Democratic Party could very well have been tarnished by this scandal, but it’s not as if they knew ahead of time that Estelle was convicted of such heinous crimes. Pardon? They DID know ahead of time? Back the truck up….

According to documents obtained by CBS4, in November of 2011, the Jeffco Democratic Party announced it planned to honor Carson for her activism on behalf of Democratic causes and her efforts to register voters.

But three days before the January 8 gala, advocates for the victim contacted the party via email and phone informing them of the criminal investigation.
One wrote “I am completely appalled,” to learn of the planned honor. The woman suggested the Democratic Party should “un-invite Estelle and not follow through with this honor.”

Cindy Maxwell told CBS4 she informed Democratic Party officials that Carson had already confessed to the theft as part of the investigation.
But Chris Kennedy, chairman of the Jefferson County Democratic party, dismissed the concerns saying there was not a conviction and bestowed the “Democrat Of The Year” honor on Carson.

In an email following the event, Kennedy wrote, “After much consideration, my decision was that the award being presented by my organization and the alleged financial exploitation need to be compartmentalized, one having no bearing on the other. Thus I decided to present the award to Estelle.”

It’s not like Estelle drove the cripple woman into a lake and let her drown. It’s not like that at all. It’s less severe than that. The chick in the wheelchair probably isn’t even good looking.

Good for the JCDP for sticking to their guns. Why let a felony conviction get in the way of a gala? Besides, on a Democrat crime scale, what Estelle did was small cheese. It’s not like she’s a gun owner or anything.

And the closing word will go to victim, Cindy Maxwell”

“I’d like to see her stripped of that award. I have been a Democrat my entire life. I’m disappointed they would allow something like that to happen,” said Maxwell.

Oh, you’re a democrat? Then you should be use to having one of your own pillage you. Suck it up, Buttercup. Oh, and one last thing, that $596 disability cheque you get every month is now $584 thanks to Obama’s tax increases.

Happy New Year!

Blowing Bubbles

Wednesday, November 28th, 2012

Here is a newly discovered picture of a young Sandra Fluke. While taxpayers paid for the bubbles, the blowing part was a learned trait. And man, Fluke sure learned that part well…or so the bathroom walls would tell us.

The Presidential Debate – Who Won?

Thursday, October 4th, 2012

The Mayor will give you a hint as to who won….it wasn’t the Kenyan.

The Mayor decided to watch the Presidential debate at the spacious confines of the Fenris Badwulf School of Telemarketing Excellence. Due to extensive renovations of *the bullpen*, The Mayor and Fenris, and The Mayor’s entourage, watched the debate from Fenris Badwulf’s 10th story office (which overlooks Mitchieville’s Center Square and Lucky Yoo’s House of Super Great Chinese Food – open 7 days a week, 11 am to 1 am). As The Mayor settled into his leather recliner, something told him he was going to be in for a real treat, he could feel it in his gut (and that feeling had nothing to do with the super-sized poo-poo platter he just finished eating).

As Fenris’s personal assistant, Fiona Headdress, brought The Mayor a tumbler full of top-shelf Scotch, the debate came on Fenris’s 246″ super-wide screen TV.

The first shot we saw was a split-screen of Romney on our left and Obama on our right. Fenris made the comment that Obama was looking awfully thin. “He looks as if he’s 83 lbs, commented Fenris, how can he lift America out of the greatest depression with such child-like arms? How can he hold the burden of America on his shoulders when they’re so bony and frail?”

Good questions, The Mayor had no answer.

The debate progressed and after an hour or so, it was evident that the Kenyan was finished. Romney was beating him like a red-headed step-child. All Obama could do to deflect Romney’s attacks was sputter out his famous Kenyan alphabet routine…ahhhh, ahhhhh, ahhh, ahhhh, ahhhh, b,c,d,e,f,g.

When all was said and done, Romney walked away victorious, and Obama limped away like the stuttering, muttering, puttering, spluttering reject that he is. Take that, Chris Matthew’s, how’s that thrill up your leg treating you now?

Not mentioned by Obama in the debate was anything regarding Romney’s tax returns, Bain Capital, or 47%. Nothing. Before the debate, Obama and his bought-and-paid-for media were mentioning these things every 9 seconds. But yet nothing during the debate. Make what you will of that.

It’s clear to anyone with a neck and two functioning brain cells that Obama is as clueless as any human being can be. If you voted for him in 2008, you must have woken up this morning embarrassed. Take away his teleprompter and the *smartest man in the world*, the *greatest orator the universe has ever see*, was just another dumb liberal with no plans, no ideas, and a head full of hot air. That is the real Obama, and the whole world got to see it. Vomit.

Help Wanted

Wednesday, September 26th, 2012

Vice-chancellorship for Equity, Diversity and Inclusion – $250,000 year +++

Serious inquiries only

Ontario’s Deficit Shrinks – Good times Ahead!

Thursday, September 13th, 2012

Good times are here again, as the Ontario liberals have just announced that the annual provincial deficit has SHRUNK to just over $13 billion:

Ontario’s deficit has shrunk to $13 billion after initial budget projections of $16.3 billion proved overly pessimistic.

The projected deficit was dropped to $15.3 billion in March and ultimately revised to $14.8 billion in April.

The latest revision took into account the “tax-the-rich” initiative demanded by the New Democrats — and agreed to by the Liberals in exchange for support in the legislature to pass the budget — which slaps a surcharge on high-income earners.

Finance Minister Dwight Duncan said his government is two years ahead of its plan to balance the books.

High fives all around in liberal country, we’re on our way to prosperity…no matter how much it costs.

Keep in mind that California, with a population 3x that of Ontario, is on the verge of bankruptcy after declaring a $20 billion shortfall this year (and for many years previous). Ontario has seen its credit rating cut twice since the liberals took power 9 years ago, but apparently a $13 billion shortfall is great news. When the liberals took power, Ontario was running a $5 billion deficit, but those numbers are for pikers when compared to the deficit the liberals have been running. For many years, the liberals were running over $20 billion annual shortfalls, and yet the good citizens of Ontario had the smarts to vote them back in, not once, not twice, but three times. Talk about getting the government you deserve.

How did the liberals *bring down* the deficit so much? Hmmmm, most likely after a session of sniffing glue and drinking bourbon, they projected a far higher deficit than what they knew would come in…let’s say $16.3 billion. When the deficit came in at $13 billion (the number they realistically thought it would be in the first place), they put on their party hats, cracked open more taxpayer-funded booze, and held a news conference touting the FACT that they are now fiscally responsible.

And how do the liberals intend on cutting the deficit to zero by 2017 as they promised? Haha, that’s 5 years from now, who the hell is going to remember that promise? The media won’t. The good citizens of Ontario won’t. The credit agencies will though. And by that time, the liberals will have a new boogeyman to blame our fiscal woes on, anyway.

Profit Is Filthy

Wednesday, February 22nd, 2012

Nancy Pelosi has just released a statement regarding rising gas prices:

Washington, D.C. – Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi released the following statement today on the rising gas prices across the country:

Independent reports confirm that speculators are driving up the cost of oil, hurting consumers and potentially damaging the economic recovery. Wall Street profiteering, not oil shortages, is the cause of the price spike.  In fact, U.S. oil production is at its highest level since 2003, and millions of acres have been cleared for additional development.

“We need to take strong action to protect consumers from this speculation.  Unfortunately, Republicans have chosen to protect the interests of Wall Street speculators and oil companies instead of the interests of working Americans by obstructing the agencies with the responsibility of enforcing consumer protection laws.  They have also repeatedly opposed our efforts to end billions of dollars in outdated taxpayer subsidies for oil companies enjoying record profits.

“We support efforts by the Obama Administration to expand domestic energy resources, including natural gas and renewable sources like wind and solar that create jobs in America and will end our dangerous dependence on foreign energy supplies.  This can be achieved because today, the United States currently has more oil and gas rigs at work than the rest of the world combined, and imports of foreign oil have decreased.

“We call on the Republican leadership to act on behalf of American consumers and join our efforts to crack down on speculators who care more about their profits than the price at the pump even if these spikes harm the American consumer and our economy.”

Remember this?

Former Speaker of the House–and current Minority Leader–Nancy Pelosi apparently bought $1 million to $5 million of Visa stock in one of the most sought-after and profitable initial public offerings (IPO) in American history, thwarted serious credit card reform for two years, and then watched her investment skyrocket 203%.

The revelation appears in Throw Them All Out, the new book by investigative journalist and Breitbart editor Peter Schweizer, which was the focus of 60 Minutes on CBS this evening, and which is featured in this week’s issue of Newsweek.

In Pelosi’s world, profiting from speculating on commodities is evil and is anti-American. However, front-running a Visa IPO and bringing in a 203% return is completely fine.

The Mayor isn’t even sure why Pelosi is against high gas prices. Steven Chu, Barack Obama’s Energy secretary, is all for it: “Somehow,” Chu said, “we have to figure out how to boost the price of gasoline to the levels in Europe.”

Relax, gas is only $8 -$10 in Europe.

Heck, if Pelosi is against high gas prices, she’s even at odds with her master, Barack Obama:

When asked whether he thought $4-a-gallon gas prices were good for the American economy, said, “I think that I would have preferred a gradual adjustment.”

Keystone, the moratorium in the Gulf, green energy policies, sabre rattling with Iran, Iran cutting oil supplies to France and England, the printing of trillions and trillions and trillions of fiat cash – yup, high gas prices must be the result of speculators.

Nancy Pelosi – the smartest liberal woman ever. And The Mayor is quite serious about that.