Archive for the ‘Little Linkie Love’ Category

Little Linkie Love

Tuesday, September 30th, 2008

It looks like the new Mitchieville (Mitchieville 2.1) will be up and running by Thursday morning. The world will sleep well knowing that.

I had to go to the mall today to pick up some toothpaste and some booze, and I saw this lady and her young son trying to lift her shopping cart over a curb right outside a Wal-Mart. Her son was very young, so he was basically useless, so I asked her if I could lend her a hand, which she accepted. So I lifted the cart over the curb and she thanked me, and then she started mumbling about how the cart is restricted to only the Wally parking lot and her car was way on the other side of the lot. So I asked her if she wanted me to lug some of her shit to her car. She accepted.

Her cart was full, so I grabbed the heaviest crap: two boxes of diapers and two 24 of waters. It turns out her car was about 60 miles away, so here’s me with a 24 of water and a box of diapers in each arm struggling like hell to make it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m strong as the day is long (I’m also cute as a bugs ear and my breath smells like vanilla, even if I don’t brush my teeth), but that’s a long way to carry all that crap. Anyway, we get talking and it turns out the woman is a Moslem.

Blah blah and all that shit, we get to her car and she opens the trunk, I throw her crap in and I swear to all that is holy, she turned to me and said, “Thanks, my future slave.” It wasn’t even one of those things that I thought I could have misheard, there’s no other phrase that can substitute hearing that you are a future slave.

I was pretty stunned actually, but it wasn’t kicking in just yet, my mind was a little hazy from being called a Moslem woman’s slave. So, she reaches into the trunk and grabs a water and asks me if I would like one, so I said, “Thanks slut, but no.” Now, try saying *thanks a lot* really quickly, it sounds exactly like *thanks slut”…does it not? It sure as hell does.

Now this woman is looking at me sideways, wondering if I just called her a slut, and I’m looking at her sideways wondering if she called me her future slave.

The moral of the story is that we as a peoples can come together and live in peace and harmony if we insult and degrade one another, and never, ever, ever question what anyone ever says to us.

The Periodic Table of Awesomenents is just that–awesome. Although they forgot to add me to the table again this year, stupid buggers.

One of the best sites I have seen in a long time is The Grand Palais interactive site. Go for a tour, watch a movie, explore. This is wonderful.

You know how the Chinese can prove that their chimanauts went to the moon? From the news reports they made two hours before lift-off that they were already on the moon.

—->From the site——>Don Hertzfeldt created Ah, L’Amour in 1995 as an 18-year-old student at the University of California Santa Babara. It was his first film. Ah, L’Amour has been posted here a couple of times, but the embedded video was always pulled do to licensing rights. Now Atom Films has obtained those rights, so you can enjoy it!

I’ve never watched the show “America’s Got Talent”, mostly because I walk upright and have taste, but this Terry Fator fella sure does have an interesting talent. And no, it doesn’t involve three midgets, a large rope and a stepladder.

Little Linkie Love

Saturday, September 27th, 2008

How dey do dat? How in da hell did dey do dat? Oh, I gots is all figured out. Dey put da chair down and den dey planted duh seed in da ground and it grew thru da chair. I knew dere was a solution to dat, it all seems so easy now. Still doh, I dun want to be a student in dat class, I wood hate to have to sit outside all day in da woods. I’d be afraid of getten bitten by da bugs and stuff, and I’m allergic to many types of bugs. Day would scare me to no end. I wunder where dey keep da chalkboard?

DINO wrote up a post so deep with information, so ripe and accurate, precise and veracious, that he got a little visit to his site from the MP in which he was talking about. I never get people like that coming to Mitchieville, but some bitch did call me a nazi the other day. Who knows, maybe it was Greta Susteren.

Saturday mornings are a good time to view violent stick-figure animation that could be considered nsfw due to its graphic violence. On the other hand, Scooby Doo is on and you may want to grab a Scooby snack and check it out.

I have to admit that Wario Land–Shake It is a fantastic trailer for a video game. Put it this way, I don’t play video games, nor do I want to, but I still ended up watching the whole trailer and came away refreshed, like I just bathed in vanilla water and rinsed off with the spit of Megan Fox.

Are you interested in what 24 hours of air traffic world wide looks like sped up and condenced into 1 minute? You are? Wow, I like the cut of your gib, or, the cut of your jib. Either way, you are well cut and are going places.

I’ve always said that the phrase *art is subjective” is always said when that particular piece of art is shitty. Well, here’s some objective dirty car art for your viewing pleasure.

The first Historic Image of Planet 3106 Trillion Miles From Earth is described thusly by the eggheads at the U of T–”Thanks to the distortion-reducing power of the ALTAIR adaptive optics system on the Gemini North telescope in Hawaii, three University of Toronto scientists were able to capture images of the star 1RXS J160929.1-210524 from a distance of about 500 light years away. The image is believed to be the first ever of a planet in an alien solar system around a sun-like star.”

Little Linkie Love

Friday, September 26th, 2008

I got a comment yesterday regarding that goth piece I wrote from someone that goes by the handle of dockaos. This dockaos person basically called me a nazi and had trouble with some of the assumptions I made about goth kids and the freaky boys mommy. I read the comment and went on to something else and then it occurred to me: I was saying all these negative things about goths, but it was actually those emo losers I was talking about. I mean, it’s easy to mix the two up, as Chris said–”He’s not Goth, he’s emo, which is Goth’s shallow, less interesting cousin.”

While I was wrong about saying the kid was goth when he was in fact a lowly emo, or emu, I still stand by my words that his mom is a bad parent and the kid sucks. As for dockaos, well, her/his comment was well written and there was some thought that went into it, he/she is wrong about me being a nazi, for if that was true, I’d already have he/she picked up by a special unit and dragged off to a re-education camp. None-the-less, I love comments, they really drive the site.

Walter from Cambridge sent me an interesting link, via the comment section, for Tesla Motors and their amazing Roadster, what a car. The Roadster is a magnificent car, but the best part is in the comment Walter made regarding Tesla.

The Tesla Roadster, the GM Volt, now Chrysler Jeep and Dodge have jumped into the fray with their own electric vehicles. Saying that, isn’t the yella car a Lotus?

Ya, I know this isn’t a car blog, but the Maserati GranTurismo MC Corse Concept is another very impressive concept car you may want to check out..and buy me.

Feed in your input parameters, your asteroid diameter, your trajectory angle, and your object velocity, and you are well on your way to finding out what kind of damage your asteroid is going to do to the earth. Great job, psycho, you’ve killed us all!

Damn Cool Pics have some great pictures that I haven’t seen before of the Titanic. Some of the pics are of the Titanic in the production stage, then on the water, and finally the remainder of the pics of it in its watery grave. Great stuff, very interesting.

Little Linkie Love

Wednesday, September 24th, 2008

I didn’t even know they twirled giant Cue-Tips in gymnastic routines. I seem to learn something new every day.

I may as well tell you now, Mitchieville is in the midst of a complete re-design. We’re 95% of the way there, but there are still a few things that need to be tweaked, a few things that need to be adjusted, and a couple of things that need to be smashed to pieces and rebuilt. However, I’m predicting that by next Monday, Mitchieville will be up and running, and you will see a new site that will rock your fucking world.

Other than telling me to be funnier, more creative, or write in complete sentences, if there is any feature that you think may help in the overall look of new Mitchieville, I would appreciate you telling me about it via the comment section. For instance, have you seen some cool feature on another site (like there is any other site, I know) that you would like to see on Mitchieville? There is, then by all means let me know. This is not the time to be shy, this is the time to shine, you magnificent bastard.

Another typical day in momma Russia, four kids stabbed 666 times each and eaten. Yawn.

Do you feel that the tunes you listen to lack enough cowbell? Then you are in luck, amigo, the Cowbell Generator will help you out.

I have to agree with the announcer of this next short clip, the woman in questions absolutely has the most powerful buttocks in the world.

This is one of the cooler prototypes of a gun I have ever seen. And I’ve seen more than two. But less than three.

I’ve always felt sorry for those poor little bastards North Koreans. Seeing these incredible pictures of how they live and this and that, I feel even more sorry for them. Now where the hell did I put my Jube Jubes?

Little Linkie Love

Monday, September 22nd, 2008

It saddens me to tell you, the good folks of Mitchieville, that our Finance Minister, Patrick Hillman, is stepping down. I learned about this Saturday morning through Patrick’s great blog, Blowing Shit Up With Gas. Patrick is a good friend of Mitchieville and we are awfully fond of him around here. Patrick is going through some mighty rough times and I completely understand why he is walking away. If you happen upon this post, Patrick, I want you to know that you are in my thoughts, you are certainly in my prayers, and I consider you my friend. You are a great guy and I’m going to miss you. Now cut it out and get the fuck back to blogging!

Many of you probably haven’t seen many pictures of the destruction hurricane Ike caused, I know that before yesterday I hadn’t. Well, these pictures are going to floor you. Remarkable.

The Top Ten Heaviest & Biggest Military Tanks Ever is certainly worth a look.

Now THIS is a great beer commercial.

Have you heard about the GM Volt yet? It’s going to revolutionize the car market–and put those Arabs in their place. I mean, if the thing actually works, which is pretty uncertain right now.

Girls With Modified Eyebrows is one of the scariest pages on the intertubes. You’ll see what I mean–I got so scared I stuck a toothpick through my retina.

Little Linkie Love

Thursday, September 18th, 2008

I’m going to start up MindTrap or some form of trivia again next Friday. Desperate Mitchievillian’s have been emailing me for the last month or so wondering when MindTrap will be coming back. All I seem to have heard in the last month is, “When is MindTrap coming back?”, “Why aren’t you playing MindTrap any more?”, “Do you have any idea where these disgusting bumps came from?” The answers to these questions are simple: Next Friday. We are, just be patient. Most likely from the Haitian prostitute you drove home on Tuesday.

I can promise you that you have never seen the Beatles quite like this.

As far as model planes are concerned, this is one serious son of a beeeeeatch.

Sure, the gay babies page is in pretty bad taste. But that doesn’t mean you won’t have a chuckle. Go laugh at the gay babies, they would want you to.

I’m pretty sure I could kick the crap out of every 10 year old on the planet, but then I saw this little Ninja maniac and I had second thoughts.

You have probably seen a few of these optical illusions before, but none-the-less, the page in question is still pretty decent with updated illusions.

Little Linkie Love

Saturday, September 13th, 2008

September is always an exciting month. Actually, not really the first two weeks, but after that things start to really pick up on the interwebs. People are back from vacation, they’re rested, possibly feeling a little naughty, it’s the perfect storm in the blogoshere. In blog terms, summer is Deadsville. In the summer, Mitchieville loses about 30% of its readers. It feels sad and lonely and without the love of a good woman I would throw myself under a slow moving train. When September hits though, look the hell out. Mitchieville’s readership comes back, AND it grows by about 25%. So, doing some quick calculations in my head, Mitchieville usually gets 8 readers a day, + we will get back 30% of our peoples, so that’s 2 more, + 25% increase = WOW. I’ve done the math, the proof is there. Try not to be too jealous.

This is what life has done to the campaigns of Lisa, Fenris and Todd. Possibly NSFW (but very funny and only 11 seconds)

Although this is a few weeks old, it is still worthy of review. Two Dogs has a great rant up and running about the US Presidential campaign. Possibly his best work to date.

Even though I would rather shove a screwdriver into my foot and hit a major artery than become a commie, I have to say that some of the North Korean propaganda posters are fantastic. Some funny, some silly, but all are aok with The Mayor.

The idea of the Africam is pretty great, the reality of it is that it sucks tiger cock. A simple but great premise: Live streaming cameras of various locations around Africa–including the plains where elephants hang out. The reality: a blank screen. Who knows though, maybe I’m checking everything out at night.

Fannie May & Freddie Mac are on life support, but have a boo at who the Top Recipients of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac Campaign Contributions, 1989-2008. Now, look at #3 on that list and ask yourself: The two douches about him have been senators and congressmen for decades, yet the #3 lad has only been a senator for three years. How come so much loot from Fannie and Freddie? Hmmmmmmm.

Little Linkie Love

Tuesday, September 2nd, 2008

I was driving my massive SUV to City Hall today, and I was about to make a right onto The Mayor Blvd when I had to stop to let this enormous woman cross the street. I had to mention she was enormous because without that visual in your head, this story aint worth shit. Anyway, this lady was topping the scales at about 275, and she was wearing these pajama-type shorts, really tight and slick. However, they were hanging down about 8″ too much, so you could see, as plain as day, the pink g-string underwear her enormous ass was carrying. It’s not often I get gag-reflux, but today was the exception. To boot, she was like 50 or something, and I still haven’t gotten over it. I had to shove spikes into my eye sockets so my eyes didn’t try to escape. Like I can blame them, the poor bastards.

If you are judging the American Presidential contest by experience, then the Tale of the Tape: Sarah Palin vs. Barack Obama chart, should shed some light on who is more fit for the job.

Although the C-String site is technically SFW, you better err on the side of caution and wait until your boss turns his back before opening up the page.

I may have posted this before, but even so it’s worth a look again–it’s a bunch of bikers doing some fancy bike maneuvers. Sure, it sounds dull as Obama’s head, but it’s actually pretty great.

DINO has the extensive list of all the food products recalled by Maple Leaf. Even if you are not from Canada, you should have a look at this list and the companies Maple Leaf owns–it’s freaking amazing.

How long does it take to assemble a rifle? If you are this 11 year old girl, not too long at all.

Little Linkie Love

Friday, August 22nd, 2008

Due to the lack of Friday Morning Female Flesh on these dem dar pages, I have decided to incorporate a bit of the flesh you perverts urn for, together with my award-winning Little Linkie Love Posts. I think I will name this series, “Little Female Linkie Friday Morning Love Flesh”. Wow, what a lovely title for a post, it kind of rolls right off the tongue. And the best part about it is that the title is nice and short, so it’s really easy to remember. Enjoy, and have a super day!

This animal could easily be on either a What in Tarnation Am I? post, or in Squirrel fights 09.

After watching this, you’ll say to yourself, “Self, I never saw that coming”.

I saw this KO a little while ago and the only thing I could say was “wow”.

When Rosie O’Donell plays a semi-retarded person, it takes nearly the whole movie to figure out if she’s acting or not. Yup, she’s than good. Put it this way, she’s more convincing as a crazy person than she is a sane person.

Dirty Window Art is actually quite cool. Sure, the people that own the cars are probably filthy animals, but at least a little joy can come out of the muck that is someones life.

Little Linkie Love

Wednesday, August 20th, 2008

There’s a pay highway in Ontario called the 407. It’s a great highway by most measures. The highway is in great shape, if there is an accident it is cleaned up in minutes, not hours, the drivers even seem to be of a higher driving class than say those on the 401 series. Having said that, it’s freaking expensive. I was exiting the 407 the other day when a motorbike came up beside me, right at the part where the overhead camera takes a picture of your license plate. The motorbike guy reaches back and grabs his plate and folds it under his seat. About 100 yards later, he reaches back and straightens out his plate. Ta da, he beat the system.

At first it pissed me off what he did, why should I have to pay and he gets away with not paying? Then, after a while it didn’t piss me off at all. A few hours after that I was pissed off again. This morning though, I’m not pissed in the least. My gamut of emotions have run dry and I am but a lifeless soul trapped inside the body of a beautiful man.

As far as cool but completely disturbing things are concerned, Idol is one of those things that fit the bill perfectly. It’s safe for work, but you won’t feel exactly right after watching it.

One way to bring out the Viking in you is to craft a spoon. Another way is to pillage your community and take the virginity of its women. For now though, craft a spoon!

If you get the feeling that the amount of foreign donors (and often illegal) Obama (pbuh) has to date is extraordinary, you are bang-on right. Here’s some of the proof.

It’ll take you a few seconds to figure out this illusion (??), but when you do you will be so thrilled that it will become quite possible you might send me $20 as a thank you of sorts. See Paypal, pal.

FilzMail is a disposable email account that should come in handy when signing up for those disgusting, perverted products that get sent in plain brown envelopes to your door each month. Your neighbours know what you’re up to, so stop it before it becomes habit forming.

Little Linkie Love

Tuesday, August 19th, 2008

I’ve been experimenting with content this summer on Mitchieville, adding and subtracting, seeing what is popular and what should take a dirt nap. I’ve dropped a few things I was running with, but I need your help on some others, I can’t for the life of me figure out whether I should continue with them or not. As I said, I need your help on this. I need you to be brutally honest with me, like the time you asked me if you looked fat in those jeans and I told you that yes, you were quite a pig–that type of brutally honest.

Out of these few segments, what do you think I should keep and what should I terminate? You Were a Beautiful Baby. Mugshot of the Week. What the Hell Am I? This Day in History.

That’s just a start, but as I say, your input is necessary. Also, if you can think of some other posts I was running with but stopped, yet you would like to see me continue with them, let me know. On the reverse side, if there is something that royally sucks and you want me to drop it (like 24) let me know. An email isn’t necessary, just say what you’re thinking in the comment section. Thanks!

Mark Nicodemo seems to like watching bizarre things happen to reporters, or at least that’s what Set, the Snake God told me in a revelation last night. Therefore, Mark is really going to enjoy this very short clip.

There is a car that is a mere few months away from taking to the roads that will be able to achieve 106 mpg. Yup, it runs on compressed air, and the price tag will start at around $18,000.00. Take that, foreign oil dependency.

I’m not sure what the mileage is going to be like for the VW concept cars, but if VW thinks these cars are going to sell on their looks, they are completely out to lunch.

Sure, The Mean Bear is rather silly, and watching it could quite possibly make you stupid, but it’s time to live, man, it’s time to live.

In the world of bizarre and cool clocks, Timebeat takes the cake.

Do you have a link you would like to share with your constituents? Then send it along to The Mayor at mitchieville at (replace *at* with @) yahoo.com

Little Linkie Love

Friday, August 15th, 2008

I got a little startled last night right before I jumped into bed. When I walked into the room, I noticed that the blankets were all in a clump on the bed and there was a bigger clump of blankets right in the middle. I thought that for sure it was the cat under the blanket, but when i pulled the blanket up, it wasn’t the cat at all, it was a Mayan farmer. It was like just out of the movies, he looked at me and I looked at him, and at the same time we screamed. Lucky for me though that I always go to bed carrying a pitchfork. Haha, I guess I should say, lucky for me, unlucky for the Mayan farmer. Haha, strike one up for Christianity.

Did you see or read the story about the jackass Burger Kink employee who filled up the deep fryer with water and took a bath in it in front of all the employees? Begrudgingly, here’s the YouTube clip of it.

You don’t find many accidents occurring at the mini-putt range, but when they do they are usually quite excellent. Like this one for example. Ads might not e safe for work.

Even if you are not in the market for a used car, you will still find Rob Gruhl’s presentation, “How to buy a new car”, very informative and quite lively.

Most hot blooded males will find a hot woman swimming in a bathtub of Bailey’s to be quite erotic. I, on the other hand, can’t get the thought out of my head that ants and various other bugs are attracted to sugary things, therefore, I find this ad disgusting and icky.

Perhaps you might be interested in what a collection of Olympic torches looks like. Perhaps not. Perhaps you would rather go back and watch Bailey’s girl swim around in her bug soup. Pervert.