Archive for the ‘Looting for Survival’ Category

Your morning nightmare

Monday, August 8th, 2011

A nightmare set in 1945 has a rich library of settings to draw material from. There is evil science, time travel, and bungled atomic experiments to add color. But not every nightmare has its evil science, plasma discharges, and people melded into walls and bulkheads: that is for special occasions, things rare and disturbing to the psyche. Instead, the more common aspects of trench warfare (so well developed in 1945) such as being trapped, being buried alive, being blocked from escape, and having your movement channeled towards slow or quick death seems to appeal more to that part of the mind that creates nightmares for the benefit of the conscious experience. The clothing, the uniforms are familiar. You know what boots you will be wearing as the burning oil flows down the trench towards where you are trapped, your foot lodged in some common object like a ladder or screen door. The food you throw over as some villain grabs you from behind is familiar: a cheese sandwich, a cup of coffee, an apple; you can stare at this as the garrote closes your windpipe. Indeed, when your nightmare is set in 1945 you do not march alone. Look around you: everybody has nightmares set in 1945.

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This Was Funnier Last Year

Saturday, June 4th, 2011

The Mayor heard that the missionaries had to rip out Matthew 14 because every time a Haitian read the part about Jesus feeding the masses with 5 loaves of bread and two fish, they ended up crying hysterically.

Haha, just kidding, Haitians can’t read.

Looting For Survival

Thursday, February 18th, 2010

looting-for-survival

After hurricane Katrina and the earthquake in Haiti, we were told by the state-controlled media that looters were only looting for survival and that looters never looted for personal gain.

Fair enough.

And that’s why when I look at this picture of these disadvantaged Survival Looterists™ , a smile comes across my face. Because now I know in my heart that the Survival Looterists™ aren’t stealing dozens and dozens and dozens of $300 game day football jerseys, Reebok shoes and assorted sporting paraphernalia for personal gain, but rather they are adding necessary provisions to their family’s long-term survival cache.

By the grace of any God but the Christian God, I hope these poor souls are going to be okay.