Madonna was at a UNICEF benefit last night, showing off the latest in grassy knoll fashion. I’m sure Alex Rodriguez has to mow and de-weed her every night now. What was she thinking when she chose that? “Hmmmm, this piece of sod would look good draped over my skelator body. Alex, get me the weed-whacker and my gold belt!!” At this point, the best thing for everyone is if someone threw Madonna back into the swamp from whence she came.
A member of staff removes a wedding ring from a waxwork of Madonna at London’s Madame Tussaud’s museum, a day after the pop star announced her divorce from guy Ritchie.
It’s amazing to me how the wax statue of Madonna looks so fresh and clean and unwrinkled, yet the real life version of Madonna looks like a discarded Handi Wipe that was used to clean off the crusty, thrown up barf that spewed out of a meth addicted homeless man’s hungry mouth.
And that’s a really terrific belt wax Madonna is wearing, she should be very proud of winning the WWE championship.
Although Madonna looked like she saw, well, herself in a mirror, her publicist says that she is not sick, and that this photograph in question was just a bad picture:
The pop star “may look a little thinner than usual,” Rosenberg conceded, “but she was dancing and singing better than ever and ate a nice healthy meal.”
I’m more concerned with the walking unibrow that has attached itself to Madonna’s tentacles. She’s obviously sucking whatever life-force Madonna has left in her tattered and abused body. On the bright side, it’s nice to hear a story that doesn’t involve Madonna doing the sucking.
Upset at the amount of Botox Madonna has received, Rosanne Barr had this to say about Madonna’s obsession:
“Please lay off the Botox,” she wrote. “You are scaring the children. Act your age. You are doing good things and your face negates your message of spirituality.”
It’s interesting the two factions at play here. One the one hand you have an obese, disgusting pot calling the sluttish, horrid kettle black. Rosanne believes that women should age gracefully, yet gracefully is not a word that can be associated with Rosanne Barr in the least. However, she does make a good point that Madonna should stay away from the Botox. Maybe the two can compromise: If Madonna agrees to lay off the Botox, Rosanne will agree to kill herself, and take Madonna with her.
Sure, it’s not much of a compromise, but it’s only thing I can see that will work at this point.
If only his finger was loaded.
Mental disorders are about as common in Hollyweird as adultery, drunk driving and drug addictions. If you want to see the level of insanity that most Hollyweird stars possess, simply stick a mic in front of their gaping maws and ask them their views on politics.
Sean Penn is no exception, of course. The difference though between Sean Penn and your average Hollyweird mental patient is that Sean Penn just doesn’t stop at making anti-American speeches at home, he travels and talks…and talks and talks and blabbers, and whines, and bitches, blah blah fucking blah, that insufferable, miserable prick.
Sean Penn continuously rambles on about George Bush, the Iraq war and the cycle of violence war causes. Yet Sean Penn never worried about the cycle of violence when he was having his violent outbursts against reporters, or when he was beating Madonna to a pulp. That’s why he was arrested twice and his marriages all ended in divorce, because of his out of control temper.
What Mental Affliction is Penn’s Brain Ravished With? Well, he was married to Madonna and dated Susan Sarandon for a while, but I’m not sure if blindness and bad taste is a mental disorder.
If I was to guess, I would say that Sean Penn is a violent psychotic. He may very well be a violent sociopath. Hell, he’s probably a violent sociopathic psychotic.
What do you think: What Mental Afflcition Ravishes Sean Penn’s Brain?
If only his finger was loaded.
Mental disorders are about as common in Hollyweird as adultery, drunk driving and drug addictions. If you want to see the level of insanity that most Hollyweird stars possess, simply stick a mic in front of their gaping maws and ask them their views on politics.
Sean Penn is no exception, of course. The difference though between Sean Penn and your average Hollyweird mental patient is that Sean Penn just doesn’t stop at making anti-American speeches at home, he travels and talks…and talks and talks and blabbers, and whines, and bitches, blah blah fucking blah, that insufferable, miserable prick.
Sean Penn continuously rambles on about George Bush, the Iraq war and the cycle of violence war causes. Yet Sean Penn never worried about the cycle of violence when he was having his violent outbursts against reporters, or when he was beating Madonna to a pulp. That’s why he was arrested twice and his marriages all ended in divorce, because of his out of control temper.
What Mental Affliction is Penn’s Brain Ravished With? Well, he was married to Madonna and dated Susan Sarandon for a while, but I’m not sure if blindness and bad taste is a mental disorder.
If I was to guess, I would say that Sean Penn is a violent psychotic. He may very well be a violent sociopath. Hell, he’s probably a violent sociopathic psychotic.
What do you think: What Mental Afflcition Ravishes Sean Penn’s Brain?
FHM released its 2008 edition of the 100 Sexiest Women in the World today, and there were a few surprises. Megan Fox took the title this year, replacing Jessica Alba who dropped to third. That’s not the surprise though, the surprise was that Britney Spears was #100.
It was just a few (three?) years ago that Britney was #1 on this list, now she has dropped to 100. The surprising part to me isn’t so much the dramatic fall for Britney, but rather that she made the list at all. I’m thinking that it must be name recognition that got her in the top 100, it sure as hell isn’t her looks, unless fat and dopey is all of a sudden the newest, hottest look.
Megan Fox isn’t a bad choice I suppose, but to have Allesandra Ambrosio come in at 47 and Adriana Lima clock in at 36, tells me all I know about the demented heads that cast their votes in this farce.
Oh, Madonna was 87 and Cameron Diaz was 18. Ya, exactly.
And my theory why Alba dropped to #3? Simple, people saw her acting skills this year.
FHM released its 2008 edition of the 100 Sexiest Women in the World today, and there were a few surprises. Megan Fox took the title this year, replacing Jessica Alba who dropped to third. That’s not the surprise though, the surprise was that Britney Spears was #100.
It was just a few (three?) years ago that Britney was #1 on this list, now she has dropped to 100. The surprising part to me isn’t so much the dramatic fall for Britney, but rather that she made the list at all. I’m thinking that it must be name recognition that got her in the top 100, it sure as hell isn’t her looks, unless fat and dopey is all of a sudden the newest, hottest look.
Megan Fox isn’t a bad choice I suppose, but to have Allesandra Ambrosio come in at 47 and Adriana Lima clock in at 36, tells me all I know about the demented heads that cast their votes in this farce.
Oh, Madonna was 87 and Cameron Diaz was 18. Ya, exactly.
And my theory why Alba dropped to #3? Simple, people saw her acting skills this year.
Some people would say that for a 48 year old woman Madonna looks pretty damn good. She is on a strict diet and exercise regiment, she spends a fortune on designer clothes and she is a tireless performer. With that said, who would have thought that part of her exercise regime includes sucking cannonballs through a straw? It’s as if her face is trying to crawl back into her head. I showed this picture to Skelator this morning and he said, “Fuck me, that’s some scary shit”.
Madonna is another creature that could have easily been the first choice for the most revolting woman on the planet. Hell, she could have captured the top three spots all by herself. She has managed to offend pretty much everybody in her lifetime, and she makes no qualms about it, she just goes on with her demented life, talking in a fake British accent, adopting children and harvesting them for spare parts, trying to convince people that the freak-show cult she belongs to is nothing short of normal, and of course, preaching love and tolerance by offending Christians and their beliefs.
Madonna is a real work of art. Having said that, art is subjective, and that nearly always means that art is shit. So, what that really means is that Madonna is shit. Following those lines, Madonna is true art in its purest form. Perhaps the artsiest woman I have ever seen. She has art oozing from her every pore. Yup, she’s an arthead.
From the look of that picture, you could drive a truck through the space of her teeth. Although most of us would rather drive a railroad spike through her forehead. Her vagina? Same thing, you could drive a truck or a railroad spike through it. She wouldn’t notice, she’s just go about eating her salami sandwich and listening to her IPod.
I have never found Madonna attractive, I’m not sure that I have ever met anyone that has found Madonna attractive. Even if she did have a hint of attractiveness, it is instantly wiped out by her pomposity and pretentiousness. When all is said and done, she’s just a worn out clown who made her millions by dancing like a whore and singing disgusting lyrics. So what, I can take a shit and read the newspaper at the same time, send Fenris money.
Madonna comes in #8, I wish it could be higher but we have an extremely shitty crop of losers this year, so she’ll have to take #8. There’s always next year, and hell knows, Madonna isn’t getting any better.
This is a picture of the people from the orphanage where Madonna stole baby David from. One of the founders of the orphanage has written the BBC fearing that the horrible comments Madonna made against the orphanage will translate into people pulling their funding from it:
“We have been very disturbed that the Home of Hope appears to have been described as a place where children are not cared for properly.”“We must stress that no money has come to the Home as a result of this adoption, and the financial resources at the Home are very limited.”
“We are desperately worried that people will cease donating as a result of Madonna’s comments, and that this will make a difference between life and death for some of the most vulnerable children at the Home.”
And what did Madonna say that was so bad?
Madonna has claimed David was in an appalling state when she first saw the toddler last month.The boy, she claimed, was suffering “the most horrendous diaper rash I’ve ever seen.”
It takes a real hero to not only steal a child out of Africa and transport it back to their laboratory for medical experiments, as no one has proven to me that Modonna isn’t doing this, but then to accuse the orphanage of not taking proper care of the baby. Wow, if Madonna had testicles they would be the size of watermelons.
Every diaper rash The Mayor has ever seen has looked like the worst one. A diaper rash is red and swollen and icky. I’ve seen quite a few in my day, as I have two legitimate children and a host of non-legitimate children. For Madonna to state that the child was suffering from “the most horrendous diaper rash I’ve ever seen”, makes me believe that is due to one of two reasons: 1) The child was barely alive, the rash was so bad that the doctors were only seconds away from surgically removing the child’s ass, or 2) That was the first time Madonna has ever seen a diaper rash.
I’ll take answer 2 for $5000, Alex. Most likely Madonut has never even seen a diaper rash before, as her kids have been raised by nannies and various other support workers. Madonna is on tour, or whoring, or whatever else the dirty bitch does on a daily/weekly/monthly basis. I’m actually surprised Madonna is even able to recognize her own children let alone know what their real names are. 10-1 she calls them *Hey you* and *what’s your face*.
If you guessed that this was a picture of a gaped-tooth alien ready to chew up earths inhabitants and spit them out through the giant space between its disgusting mouth, then you are only half right. It’s actually Madonna.
Why is Madonna in the news? Maybe she has discovered a cure for cancer…oh no, that’s not it, darn. The idiot is in the news because now she’s telling all that will listen that she initially offered her stolen black African baby’s father, money to take care of his child, but he refused:
“When I met (Yohane), I said I would be happy to bring (David) back to your village and help you financially raise him,” the singer tells Vieira in the interview, which was also scheduled to continue on Dateline NBC. “And he said, ‘No.’ I think he truly felt in his heart of hearts that and who knows if he was telling me the truth that he would have a better life with me. So, when he said no, that was my sign that it was my responsibility to look after him.”
Right, Malawians are so rich that they are turning down money left, right and center. I bet he even offered Madonna a few grand to take the kid off his rich hands. Funny though, of all the hundreds of articles surrounding this crime Madonna has perpetrated, out of all the hundreds of interviews David’s father has given, this is the first time anyone has ever mentioned that Madonna offered this guy money. Sorry bitch, we’re not as stupid as you look. What else ya got?
Madonna believes racial prejudice is at the root of the objections to her adopting David. “I think it’s still considered taboo,” she says about bringing home a child of color. “I have people say to me when I’m walking down the street, ‘Why did you adopt a black child?’ I don’t dignify their question with a reply. But there is a lot of racism in the world. I think that’s underneath a lot of people’s prejudice about me adopting David.”
Do you know what they call those people who ask Madonna why she adopted a black baby? Non-existent. Cuz that never happened. Do you really think that Madonna strolls up and down the street taking questions from adoring fans, you know, just talking away to the average Joe as she power-walks? Do you think her security would allow this? Right, lying piggy.
I haven’t heard one person mention that they were upset that Madonna is adopting a black kid, no one in the world cares about that. I asked the grand wizard of the KKK if he was mad because Madonna was adopting a black kid, and the guy said, “Shit no, I’m mad because Madonna is such a lying slut and a filthy degenerate who makes white people look like trash, I actually feel sorry for the poor African-English-American baby”.
When all else fails, play the race card. Very poor, but then consider the source.
Celebitchy for the pic
Here’s a nice picture of Madonna with her stolen black African baby that she smuggled to England to live with her and her lily white husband, Guy Lombardo, or Lionel Ritchie, or whoever the hell Madonna’s husband is.
I’m sure you’re sick of me droning on and on about Madonna and her stolen black African baby that she is using for spare parts, or to melted down to be made into delicious pudding pops. Well, I’m sick as hell talking about it, but I will continue to talk about it until this child is given back to his father.
Look at the smug look on that pigs face, she has a look of someone who thinks her farts don’t smell. Well let me tell you something, Madonna, your farts smell terrible. Just because you stole a black African baby from his loving father doesn’t make you some sort of Goddess, it makes you a slave owner, you sick shit.
For some reason I think that Madonna purposely dresses in white to contrast the blackness of her stolen black African baby. I’m not sure why, but that’s the sick way slave owners think.
Speaking on the Oprah Winfrey show (Oprah is the CNN for idiot housewives), Madonna expressed her outrage at critics who have criticized her for adopting a child from Africa:
She tells Winfrey, “I’m disappointed because it discourages other people from doing the same thing - for anybody who had the idea that they, too, would like to open their home and give a life to a child living in an orphanage who might possibly not live past the age of five. I feel like the media is doing a great disservice to all the orphans of Africa, period, not just Malawi, by turning it into such a negative thing.”
First off, the child Madonna adopted isn’t an orphan, the child has a father that’s alive. That’s like saying you have an AIDS baby but all the child suffers from is a case of bleeding gums and a sore bum.
Second off, this isn’t going to discourage anyone from adopting babies from Africa. It might discourage moral people from adopting babies that have parents that are still alive, but I suppose as long as there are still folks who have a conscience and aren’t raving scumbags with more money than brains, who actually care about starving children and humanity, and aren’t using poor black children as their *look at what a good person I am, I own a black baby* banner of love, then yes, it might discourage those folks. But for dead-beat assholes like Madonna’s ilk, it won’t discourage them one bit.
You see, this is the main reason why black people hate whitey. And I can’t blame them one bit. Madonna has no right taking a child out of Africa and smuggling him to England. That child has a father who loves that kid, Madonna just wants that baby so she can use it as a status symbol, and possibly for spare parts. If Madonna loved that child so much she would give him back to his father. If Madonna loved black people so much she would tie a noose around her neck and hang herself and then get someone to set her on fire. Sure, it might not prove she loves black people, but it would make me extremely happy.
I’m not sure where to start here. The father of Madonna’s adopted baby is confused about the proceedings, the Reverend who talked the baby’s father into giving up his son is a liar, and Human Rights groups want this spectacle stopped.
Here are the highlites:
Yohane (baby’s natural father) said he wanted his son raised with Christian values. And he had been repeatedly reassured that everything was being done in David’s best interests.Yohane had never heard of Madonna, or her raunchy songs. He was told only that she was “a very nice Christian lady”.
If nailing oneself to a cross in order to mock Christianity makes one a Christian, then Madonna could be the next Pope.
One of the only requests that this poor bastard made was to have his only child (his other two children died of malaria) raised with Christian values. Madonna is a Kabbal follower, not a Christian. This man has been lied to.
In Malawi, where the law prohibits adoptions by non-residents, human rights groups have stepped up their campaign to prevent David being taken away.The charity Malawi’s Eye Of The Child will tomorrow seek an injunction opposing the adoption.
And I hope they get it. Here’s why:
He says he has received no money in connection with the adoption of his child, but there is a sense that this committed Christian, who sang with his late wife in the local church choir, has a niggling suspicion that what has happened is not right.Certainly he has never behaved like a man who willingly abandoned his son.
For the past nine months he has visited his son whenever he could - regularly cycling the 25 miles from his home in the village to the orphanage along treacherous dirt and stone tracks more suited to rugged four wheel drive vehicles.
He said: “I would bring him food from my garden, then sit and play with him for a while. I wanted him to know that I was his father, that I love him very much.
“He is my only child still living and I think of him as a gift from God. He is also the best memory I have left of my wife.”
David was one of around 100 babies being cared for at the Home of Hope. But it was he who Madonna selected to share her opulent lifestyle, taking only slightly longer to make her choice, according to one acerbic critic, “than she would to select a new handbag”.
It will come as no surprise to you when I say that I hate Madonna’s guts and everything she stands for.
What kind of person would adopt a baby knowing full well that the child could be raised by his natural father if he just had a few dollars to do so? We’re not talking tens of thousands of dollars, rather a few hundred tops. Madonna supports charities and adoption agencies? Good for her, now let’s see her open her Gucci purse and shell out a few dollars to this man so he can be reunited with his child. THAT would be the right thing to do.
If Madonna is such a good Christian, like what has been told to the adopted baby’s father, then she will obviously know this verse from 1 Corinthians ch.13 v4: Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaulteth not itself, is not puffed up.
Madonna might do well to memorize that passage.
It looks as though Madonna has bought, I mean adopted a Malawian child:
“I am the father of David, who has been adopted,” Banda, 32, told The Associated Press Tuesday. “I am very very happy because as you can see there is poverty in this village and I know he will be very well looked after in America.”
Technically, Madonna lives in England. The father of this child might want to get a forwarding address of the child he just sold into slavery.
I have no trouble with Madonna adopting an African child, I’m sure the nanny of this kid will treat the youngin well. What I have trouble with, is Madonna was in Africa checking out some of the projects she sponsors regarding AIDS orphans. This child doesn’t have AIDS and it isn’t an orphan. The kid has a father and a grandmother, so really what Madonna is doing is taking a perfectly good child out of Africa so she can brag about what a good gaped-tooth whore she has become. Big whoopie, child stealer.
I will not be impressed until a Hollyweirdo adopts an AIDS infected, one-legged African orphan who has 7000 flies in its mouth. Africa has become a kennel for rich assholes like Madonna who steal babies like she’s shopping for chihuahua’s at the pound. If Madonna really cared, she’d take some of her incredible wealth, have some decent housing built for the entire village, supply them with food and drinking water and let the kid live with her father.
80 cents a day, Madonna, 80 cents a day
Picture from The Superficial
In (old) news that will certainly send 12 year old girls and sexually confused boys that read Perez Hilton giddy with joy, Madonna’s line of tracksuits have hit the shelves of H&M:
The chain announced yesterday that the tracksuits will be available August 24th, 2006 at all H&M locations. Even better news is that Madonna fans don’t need a pop diva’s paycheck in order to afford the sexy sleek suit! It’s only $29.90 for the top and $24.90 for the bottoms.
When I first saw this picture, I thought that Madonna was marketing these rags for albinos. I phoned Casper the Friendly Ghost and asked him to take a look at this pic, and he said, “Damn, that bitch sure is white”.
So there you have it, kids. Steal mommy or daddys credit card and go get yourself a Madonna authorized tracksuit. Be the first kid on your block to look like your 75 year old hero; A pale, washed-out, worn-down, exhausted, gaunt, haggard old Anti-Christian whore.
And don’t forget the hat! Loser.
Let me relieve you of that $50
Cross=posted at The Mitch and Famous
Before today, there were only two things in life that terrified me: Being buried alive, and mimes. Now, thanks to Madonna’s hands, there are three things.
As a person ages, that plumpness goes, making the hand look bonier and more veiny.
If that is indeed the case, then that makes Madonna over 3 million years old.
I was showing Freddy Kruger a picture of Madonna’s hand today, and he said to me, “Jesus Christ, that is some seriously scary shit”. Truer words have never been spoken.
This just proves the point that even if you drink 30 bottles of that $6 Kabbalah water every day, it certainly isn’t going to reverse the aging process.
If bitch was smart she’d start wearing hockey gloves, because walking around with veiny claws like that is going to scare children, and crows, and the dead.
The odd thing about that picture, is that at first I thought it was a detailed map of the entire New York Subway system, man, I wish I had of been right, now I’m going to have some horrible nightmares.
